Post by Kenzi Grey on Aug 27, 2016 5:22:43 GMT -5
OOC: The personal thoughts of Kenzi Grey from her personal diary (this is only her inner musings and is completely off-camera):
I have never made it a secret how I feel about Kate Bass. After she and Jami came into my life, it was pretty much flipped and turned upside down. I know I am wrong to attribute as much of that to Kate as I do, but she never denies it…so I just keep doing it. Over the last few days, things were especially tense between us…so much so that I think my friendship with Dazi Miyashita is now over…but it’s not like she really considered me a real friend anyway. I think she likes fighting with me as much as I like fighting with her.
Anyway…Kate reached out to me and wanted to bury the hatchet and I took her up on her offer. Honestly, I have zero reason to hate her…aside from the fact that she is Parker’s ex…but that doesn’t even bother me (I’ll write about that next). I think her closeness with Jami was kinda like a tie between us since we both wanted the same thing and we both wanted the best for her. It was a weird bond to forge…I guess that is why it never really worked…until now when we were hurled off in different directions.
Anyway…I saw that Kate seemed to be falling into her same old bad habits…being with someone and waiting someone else. I spoke up…hoping that our newly forged friendship made this okay…
I suppose I should add that as this was going on, I was engaged in a deep talk with Missy as she was telling me that I needed to be myself…like really embrace the real me and stop caring so much about what others think. This really resonated with me…I just didn’t realize how much…
In the middle of me trying to help Kate…Jamilyn hops in and says ‘that for once, I have a real good point.’ For once…ONCE…I have a real good point…
I took this very poorly…I freely admit. I know I did a lot of shitty things as it relates to Jamilyn…but according to her I was NEVER in the right? This got me thinking about everything I was doing…everything that Missy was saying to me…everything that had happened up to this point! What was I doing…trying to tell Kate what to do? Was I lying to her…trying to seem like I had all the answers to being morally straight? I was constantly reminded of how shitty I was…and now, here I was trying to tell Kate how to live her life.
I corrected myself…I told Kate to do whatever her heart told her to do. Love the one she was with and love this new person…love whomever the fuck she wanted because it was her life to live and she needed to be herself! If it ruined her life, it was hers to ruin! She needed to by herself. Missy had told me that (more or less…probably less)…and it was damn good advice…advice that I was going to take as well!
P.S. I’m done pretending that I’m anything but who I am. It’s time that I was selfish…it’s time that I started being myself, whether people liked it or not!
I have never made it a secret how I feel about Kate Bass. After she and Jami came into my life, it was pretty much flipped and turned upside down. I know I am wrong to attribute as much of that to Kate as I do, but she never denies it…so I just keep doing it. Over the last few days, things were especially tense between us…so much so that I think my friendship with Dazi Miyashita is now over…but it’s not like she really considered me a real friend anyway. I think she likes fighting with me as much as I like fighting with her.
Anyway…Kate reached out to me and wanted to bury the hatchet and I took her up on her offer. Honestly, I have zero reason to hate her…aside from the fact that she is Parker’s ex…but that doesn’t even bother me (I’ll write about that next). I think her closeness with Jami was kinda like a tie between us since we both wanted the same thing and we both wanted the best for her. It was a weird bond to forge…I guess that is why it never really worked…until now when we were hurled off in different directions.
Anyway…I saw that Kate seemed to be falling into her same old bad habits…being with someone and waiting someone else. I spoke up…hoping that our newly forged friendship made this okay…
I suppose I should add that as this was going on, I was engaged in a deep talk with Missy as she was telling me that I needed to be myself…like really embrace the real me and stop caring so much about what others think. This really resonated with me…I just didn’t realize how much…
In the middle of me trying to help Kate…Jamilyn hops in and says ‘that for once, I have a real good point.’ For once…ONCE…I have a real good point…
I took this very poorly…I freely admit. I know I did a lot of shitty things as it relates to Jamilyn…but according to her I was NEVER in the right? This got me thinking about everything I was doing…everything that Missy was saying to me…everything that had happened up to this point! What was I doing…trying to tell Kate what to do? Was I lying to her…trying to seem like I had all the answers to being morally straight? I was constantly reminded of how shitty I was…and now, here I was trying to tell Kate how to live her life.
I corrected myself…I told Kate to do whatever her heart told her to do. Love the one she was with and love this new person…love whomever the fuck she wanted because it was her life to live and she needed to be herself! If it ruined her life, it was hers to ruin! She needed to by herself. Missy had told me that (more or less…probably less)…and it was damn good advice…advice that I was going to take as well!
P.S. I’m done pretending that I’m anything but who I am. It’s time that I was selfish…it’s time that I started being myself, whether people liked it or not!