Post by Kenzi Grey on Nov 11, 2016 14:13:00 GMT -5
OOC: The thoughts of Kenzi Grey from her personal diary (this is only her inner musings and is completely off-camera…though she now shares them with Song, if she cares to read them):
I use to be so sure of myself…even when no one else was. I loved seeing the looks on people’s faces when they told me that couldn’t do something, and I when out there and I proved them wrong. I struggled in this business for a year…and I lost every match in this business for a year. I never gave up and I never once thought about quitting. I set my mind on the task at hand. I wanted to be great…I wanted to step outside my mother’s shadow and pave my own path.
They told me that I would never beat Keira Fisher…the woman that beat me in less than 7 seconds during my very first match…I beat her…
…but there was an asterisk…
They told me that I would never get an opportunity at holding a LAW Championship Title…and I am the Chaos Champion…
…but there was an asterisk…
They told me that I would never last in a match with the likes of Amber Ryan…and I am still here…
…but there is an asterisk…
Maybe this is the sum of my entire career…
*
No matter how hard I try and no matter what I accomplish, there is always going to be an asterisk beside it. That point was driven home to me last night by a woman that I respect…but she didn’t believe in me enough to allow me to go out and prove myself when it mattered the most. She told me that I wasn’t good enough…and now that is how the world perceives me…
…that is how some of my friends perceive me…
Kate Steele, Sam Tolson, Amber Ryan, and even Missy…a woman that I would literally do anything for; none of these women have respect for what I have done, and all I want to do is prove it. Last Sunday was my chance and in the end, I was denied that and my chance was taken away…
I have no idea where I even go from here…
Kate and Sam are already making plans for their match with one another after Night of Glory for my title…
Amber has checked me off, along with LAW, as another nothing that was never worth her time…
Missy is having second thoughts about having me in her corner on Tuesday…
Why shouldn’t Kate and Sam look past me? Why shouldn’t Amber crow about besting LAW? And the most hurtful of all, why shouldn’t Missy be ashamed to have me beside her in FFW? I missed my chance to change people’s perception of me…I had it ripped away and now I’m just a sad fucking punchline to an even sadder joke.
I have always loved being the underdog and doing what people said I couldn’t…but just once I wish that I wasn’t that person that everyone bet against…
P.S. I honestly don’t have anything funny to say right now.
I use to be so sure of myself…even when no one else was. I loved seeing the looks on people’s faces when they told me that couldn’t do something, and I when out there and I proved them wrong. I struggled in this business for a year…and I lost every match in this business for a year. I never gave up and I never once thought about quitting. I set my mind on the task at hand. I wanted to be great…I wanted to step outside my mother’s shadow and pave my own path.
They told me that I would never beat Keira Fisher…the woman that beat me in less than 7 seconds during my very first match…I beat her…
…but there was an asterisk…
They told me that I would never get an opportunity at holding a LAW Championship Title…and I am the Chaos Champion…
…but there was an asterisk…
They told me that I would never last in a match with the likes of Amber Ryan…and I am still here…
…but there is an asterisk…
Maybe this is the sum of my entire career…
*
No matter how hard I try and no matter what I accomplish, there is always going to be an asterisk beside it. That point was driven home to me last night by a woman that I respect…but she didn’t believe in me enough to allow me to go out and prove myself when it mattered the most. She told me that I wasn’t good enough…and now that is how the world perceives me…
…that is how some of my friends perceive me…
Kate Steele, Sam Tolson, Amber Ryan, and even Missy…a woman that I would literally do anything for; none of these women have respect for what I have done, and all I want to do is prove it. Last Sunday was my chance and in the end, I was denied that and my chance was taken away…
I have no idea where I even go from here…
Kate and Sam are already making plans for their match with one another after Night of Glory for my title…
Amber has checked me off, along with LAW, as another nothing that was never worth her time…
Missy is having second thoughts about having me in her corner on Tuesday…
Why shouldn’t Kate and Sam look past me? Why shouldn’t Amber crow about besting LAW? And the most hurtful of all, why shouldn’t Missy be ashamed to have me beside her in FFW? I missed my chance to change people’s perception of me…I had it ripped away and now I’m just a sad fucking punchline to an even sadder joke.
I have always loved being the underdog and doing what people said I couldn’t…but just once I wish that I wasn’t that person that everyone bet against…
P.S. I honestly don’t have anything funny to say right now.