Post by bonniemcbody on Feb 22, 2018 16:46:26 GMT -5
[Our scene opens with "The Southern Phloriphornia Milkmaiden" Bonnie Daphna (No, she doesn't have a second middle name of Samantha) McBody arriving late into Nashville International Airport. She disembarks from her plane in a rather frantic mood. Daughter of professional wrestling eccentric and recluse "Poppa Slams" Slamuel Addergoole McBody, Senior, sister to "The Original Vanilla Shilla" Slamsley McBody, and half-sister to Sheng "Suplexer" McBody, the grappling game runs rather deep in the McBody family. However, unlike Sheng or Slamsley, Slamuel never wanted his little girl to become a legitimate professional wrestler.
Back in their remote coastal village of Groves Valley, Phloriphornia, "Poppa Slams" ran an independent company known as Groves Valley Grappling. When events were semi-sanctioned and allowed to be broadcast, Bonnie usually saw herself competing in Clothes Fall Anywhere as well as Spank Squad Matches. The former worked as a hybrid of a Falls Count Anywhere Match mixed with a series of wardrobe malfunctions. Spank Squad Matches, likewise, were tawdry tag-team matches where hand-to-hand tagging was considered taboo.
Ms. McBody recently refused to compete in any more of these embarrassing exhibitions. Therefore, while channel surfing, "Poppa Slams" found what he deemed the perfect location to have his bothersome brat ply her trade: L.A.W. Ladies All-Star Wrestling. Sparing zero expense being a miserly codger, Slamuel spliced footage from various performers to showcase how seamless the transition would be. Bonnie begrudgingly accepted a ticket for the first plane out of Groves Valley International. After a half-dozen layovers, we approach the current time and location. "The Southern Phloriphornia Milkmaiden" fumbles through her carry-on to pull out a Phoneme Whippersnapper cellphone.
Without further delay, she begins streaming at 3:21 a.m. local time. For posterity, she's dressed in her entrance attire of an orange softball letterwoman's jacket, a deep green tennis skort, and pink Bloch Boost Dance Sneakers.]
Bonnie Daphna McBody: So, first thin's first, guess I'm a woman who needs some introduction. Name's Bonnie Daphna McBody a.k.a. "Da Southern Phloriphornia Milkmaiden" and I'm humbled to be in da openin' contest for Risin' Stars 2018. Had another birthday last Wednesday. Valentine's Day, which was a bummer, 'cause I didn't have a date dis year. Yep, I'm an Aquarius if knowin' my sign is your thin'. I'm also, like, totes nervous as all get out, y'know? I'm in a Fatal Four-Way Match against a quittin' Maki, a suspiciously silent Effie Rogers, and someone who very well could give me a run in da milk money department..."Da Human Glitch"..."Da Final Fantasy" Sylvanas Valentine. Seem to have a soft spot for Joshis...probably why I volunteered myself as nyotaimori for Caterin' durin' one tour of Japan. Really thought I'd repressed dat memory. And dat's what I plan to turn my three opponents into dis Sunday...memories.
Just need to focus. Of course dat's been a bit difficult given my current body chemistry. Know I need to wean off takin' my lactation pills, but dose gimmicks really make my talent enhancements feel perky, pleasin', and authentic. I mean, didja think I was a milkmaiden 'cause I'm sweet and innocent? Can be. Should be. Bein' honest, what I want most of all is to be "equally-yoked" with someone special. In da meantime, guess I'll be slammin', suplexin', and pinnin' grapplers in da good old-fashioned family tradition. I'm also tryin' my best not to say da family motto, but given how my train of thought's chuggin' you can follow da tracks.
Think I'm also majorly jetlagged right now. Goin' to find a gym with three medium-sized grapplin' dummies. Gonna keep grindin' until I know I got what it takes to defeat at least one of 'em. Could defeat Maki, but what's da challenge in defeatin' someone who doesn't have dare heart in dis company anymore? Could smack Effie Rogers with my patented Pledge Paddle, but I don't have da heart to pin down someone who wants me to "hit her like a man" and revels in bein' a homewrecker. More interested in makin' a good home. Again, if I'm gonna pin down anyone, it's gonna be someone who I don't have to skim through da pages while readin' 'em like a book. Need someone who will be honored knowin' dey were my first pinfall victory. You always remember your first and whom better to fulfill dat role dan da woman who very well could be what she claims and be my "Final Fantasy?" Time will tell, clichéd as dat sounds. Headin' to my hotel suite. Amazed dey have cabs runnin' dis early in da mornin'.
[The scene ends with "The Southern Phloriphornia Milkmaiden" Bonnie Daphna McBody tossing her carry-on into her waiting cab's trunk. She slams it down hard, confident she made a half-decent first attempt.]
Back in their remote coastal village of Groves Valley, Phloriphornia, "Poppa Slams" ran an independent company known as Groves Valley Grappling. When events were semi-sanctioned and allowed to be broadcast, Bonnie usually saw herself competing in Clothes Fall Anywhere as well as Spank Squad Matches. The former worked as a hybrid of a Falls Count Anywhere Match mixed with a series of wardrobe malfunctions. Spank Squad Matches, likewise, were tawdry tag-team matches where hand-to-hand tagging was considered taboo.
Ms. McBody recently refused to compete in any more of these embarrassing exhibitions. Therefore, while channel surfing, "Poppa Slams" found what he deemed the perfect location to have his bothersome brat ply her trade: L.A.W. Ladies All-Star Wrestling. Sparing zero expense being a miserly codger, Slamuel spliced footage from various performers to showcase how seamless the transition would be. Bonnie begrudgingly accepted a ticket for the first plane out of Groves Valley International. After a half-dozen layovers, we approach the current time and location. "The Southern Phloriphornia Milkmaiden" fumbles through her carry-on to pull out a Phoneme Whippersnapper cellphone.
Without further delay, she begins streaming at 3:21 a.m. local time. For posterity, she's dressed in her entrance attire of an orange softball letterwoman's jacket, a deep green tennis skort, and pink Bloch Boost Dance Sneakers.]
Bonnie Daphna McBody: So, first thin's first, guess I'm a woman who needs some introduction. Name's Bonnie Daphna McBody a.k.a. "Da Southern Phloriphornia Milkmaiden" and I'm humbled to be in da openin' contest for Risin' Stars 2018. Had another birthday last Wednesday. Valentine's Day, which was a bummer, 'cause I didn't have a date dis year. Yep, I'm an Aquarius if knowin' my sign is your thin'. I'm also, like, totes nervous as all get out, y'know? I'm in a Fatal Four-Way Match against a quittin' Maki, a suspiciously silent Effie Rogers, and someone who very well could give me a run in da milk money department..."Da Human Glitch"..."Da Final Fantasy" Sylvanas Valentine. Seem to have a soft spot for Joshis...probably why I volunteered myself as nyotaimori for Caterin' durin' one tour of Japan. Really thought I'd repressed dat memory. And dat's what I plan to turn my three opponents into dis Sunday...memories.
Just need to focus. Of course dat's been a bit difficult given my current body chemistry. Know I need to wean off takin' my lactation pills, but dose gimmicks really make my talent enhancements feel perky, pleasin', and authentic. I mean, didja think I was a milkmaiden 'cause I'm sweet and innocent? Can be. Should be. Bein' honest, what I want most of all is to be "equally-yoked" with someone special. In da meantime, guess I'll be slammin', suplexin', and pinnin' grapplers in da good old-fashioned family tradition. I'm also tryin' my best not to say da family motto, but given how my train of thought's chuggin' you can follow da tracks.
Think I'm also majorly jetlagged right now. Goin' to find a gym with three medium-sized grapplin' dummies. Gonna keep grindin' until I know I got what it takes to defeat at least one of 'em. Could defeat Maki, but what's da challenge in defeatin' someone who doesn't have dare heart in dis company anymore? Could smack Effie Rogers with my patented Pledge Paddle, but I don't have da heart to pin down someone who wants me to "hit her like a man" and revels in bein' a homewrecker. More interested in makin' a good home. Again, if I'm gonna pin down anyone, it's gonna be someone who I don't have to skim through da pages while readin' 'em like a book. Need someone who will be honored knowin' dey were my first pinfall victory. You always remember your first and whom better to fulfill dat role dan da woman who very well could be what she claims and be my "Final Fantasy?" Time will tell, clichéd as dat sounds. Headin' to my hotel suite. Amazed dey have cabs runnin' dis early in da mornin'.
[The scene ends with "The Southern Phloriphornia Milkmaiden" Bonnie Daphna McBody tossing her carry-on into her waiting cab's trunk. She slams it down hard, confident she made a half-decent first attempt.]