Post by Gabriella Camacho on Feb 24, 2018 20:52:29 GMT -5
From Gabby’s Blog:
To quote Cool Hand Luke:
“What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it. . . well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men."
I said last time that Sam Tolson was as stubborn as a mule, and every time you turn around, it’s like someone has one upped her in that department, and she’s so eager to retain that coveted crown. I don’t think that Sam Tolson gets it. I don’t think she’s ever gotten it. So, let’s just understand exactly what’s going on here, shall we?
You see, Sam Tolson is about to challenge for my LAW championship. We’re about to beat the hell out of each other for at least two falls. Because it’s best 2 of 3. This is a shot that Sam Tolson has been waiting for, scratching and clawing her way to earning to get to this point. This is another great defining moment in her career and what could be the biggest match she will ever have in LAW. That is what’s at stake for her. And what did she do? She got mad that I’ve told the truth.
She’s not the first, she won’t be the last. But seriously? Come on now. For someone who is a student of the game like Sam claims to be, she failed to understand that in this game, people will talk shit about you to get ahead and beat you mentally, before they do so physically. And yes, I talked a lot of shit about Sam, and every ounce of it was the truth. Was I wrong? Does she go around yelling and screaming that people screw her out of wins or do dastardly things to gain an edge? Yes. Has she once ever just said “hey, good match, you were better and I need to be better next time?” No. Everything is always someone else’s fault. And is that what Sam is known for these days? Yes. It’s really simple, and I thought, I’ll say these things and Sam will either one, acknowledge them, and understand what she needs to do, or two, she’ll tell me everything I said about her, and be upset with me and try and she expected more from me, or whatever your choice of morally superior line she could choose form. And she choose the latter. Fucks sake.
I gave Sam the credit she deserved. And I called her on her shortcomings. Harsh criticism, but I think fair. I know, I know everyone says the same thing about Sam Tolson. It’s that Sam’s problem though? I mean if mostly everyone can say the same thing about you, then it’s most likely true. It’s not just me, it’s people who like her, and people who dislike her. But there’s Sam anyway, stubborn as a mule, refusing to accept and take a long look in the mirror and figure this shit out. Nope, can’t be that Sam Tolson has an issue, it’s everyone else. But outside of complaining online and wrestling, I have to ask just who the hell Sam Tolson actually is.
I’m going to lay this out right now. Sam Tolson the wrestler is something I know about. She’s a tough as nails bitch who can throw hands and throw suplexes just as well. She’s fucking #teamsuplex and I can respect that. I have respect for Sam Tolson, the wrestler. Sam Tolson the person, I don’t know. I mean, she instantly loses points for being a Chiefs fan, and outside of posting mostly pictures of herself with little to no clothes on, what is there? I was determined to find out all about Sam Tolson. I was eager to get inside the mindset of Sam Tolson heading into a big time championship match. How would she handle this LAW main event slot? Wanting to know how passionate she was about walking out of Rising Stars with the LAW champion. How she was going to win 2 falls and show everyone that she beats the stigma and she’s more than what people say she is. But as stated, Sam Tolson is being stubborn and just deflected my words back at me. She had every chance to change the narrative, and failed. She tried to tell me how mean and two-faced and whatever else I was because I built her up, and then tore her down.
That’s my job. That’s what I do. I have torn many of the ladies of LAW apart verbally, and some are still in their feelings about it to this day. And more importantly than that, I am the LAW champion. People are always coming at me sideways, people are always aiming for me, gunning for their shot to take me down. You’re trying to tell me that Sam Tolson is more concerned with what I can say about her, then her own gameplan? More worried about what comes out of my mouth then what she’s got for me? I was expecting a haymaker from Samantha Tolson, given all the times she’s been in big matches and how many she’s walked away from with her hand raised and titles collected. But instead, I got her standing there with her chin exposed and her hands behind her back. So yeah, I’m going to tag her right in her jaw. I’m going to try and knock her out. It’s my job. I’m paid to get my opponent out of there. So that’s my aim every time. If anybody, not just Sam Tolson, anybody wants to take the LAW championship from me, they have to come out swinging. Because if you don’t, you’ve already lost. Title opportunities don’t grow on trees, you gotta make the most of them. And Sam Tolson, right now, in my eyes, has FAILED to move the needle. To her, this isn’t anything important, because apparently, Sam’s so good she just has all these chances or something. So at this point, it’s almost like she’s disrespecting me.
So, I’m going to take it as she’s not taking me seriously, and not taking this match seriously. I live, breathe, sweat, bleed, all that shit, to be right here at the top. So if Sam thinks she’s about to walk in and just beat me like it’s nothing, she’s got another thing coming. I will beat her ass just like I would anyone else. And I see she’s coming in with a broken nose. Well, mask or not, I will not hesitate to make sure her nose is never going to sit right ever again.
Maybe, maybe this was all Sam’s goal the whole time. Rile me up so that I’m off my game, and I make a mistake. Maybe. But it has failed. At this point, with the way I’m feeling about this match right now, Sam Tolson will be lucky to make it TO the second fall, much less win the first or the second. I would implore Sam Tolson to light a fire under her ass and come to fight me like she has the last two times. Sam was hungry enough to earn it, but apparently, she’s full now and that’s only going to be a problem for her.
Because I’m not full. I’m about to whoop Sam Tolson’s ass and retain the LAW championship. I’m hoping Sam is ready for this. I really do. But she is about learn a hard lesson. And at the end of the night on Sunday, I will be walking out of Rising Stars, STILL the LAW champion.
I drove home in almost a daze. Everything was surreal. I had so many questions and literally no answers to anything. I weighed so many decisions on my mind. I mean, my father raised me, he molded and shaped me into the person I am today. I wouldn’t be anything without him. And now, to have that same person treat me like I’m some stranger, a nice girl who comes to visit him for some reason in effect, broke my heart.
I cried for a long time driving on the road. I didn’t know what the hell to do, and the one person who was always there to guide me in my time of need, no matter what it was, was now the problem himself. Do I keep up the charade of going back and visiting, knowing full well that he will never remember who I am, or what he is to me? Do I stop since there’s no point? Do I abandon the man who did all this because there’s no way I can help him? That feels like such a sellout move. It feels to me like I’m turning my back on him, in his time of need. But what other options did I have?
I returned home just wanting the world to go away. I called my brothers and basically told them that dad no longer knew who I was and what I should do about it. Julio thought I should still go, regardless, after all, he’s family. He’s our father and we owe him that much, simply as a parent. I argued the counter point, mostly to keep the conversation going, to talk me out of the entire argument I was making. Julio was adamant that we weren’t going to abandon our father, instead, we needed to be there no matter what. We couldn’t give up on him. It wasn’t our fault, and it wasn’t his fault. This was Mother Nature and father time, and they act without impunity. There wasn’t much we could do physically or mentally, but the same people showing up and giving him the love and respect he deserves, would be the right thing to do.
After this lengthy conversation I hung up with my brothers and cried some more. I felt so terrible. I didn’t want to just sit back and accept this as normal, because god damn it’s not normal. It’s a struggle and it hurt my heart. I wished and prayed and hoped there was something I could do to change everything, and the sad reality was, there wasn’t anything that could be done. Just saying “yeah, he’s sick and he’ll never be cured and I’m okay with that” is not okay. Maybe it’s delusional, and holding out hope against hope. But life, it makes us do crazy stupid things sometimes.
Allie had not heard the news, I hadn’t spoken to her, so her visit, or rather, when she just dropped by unannounced as she always did, she saw I was not myself and that I had been crying. I was in my home watching daytime soaps and eating a bucket of ice cream when she actually came in and saw me.
“Gabby? What happened? What’s wrong?”
I didn’t answer at first. I was zoned into my own little world and it took a second time of her basically shouting for me to snap out of it.
“Huh?”
“I asked you what happened. What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing.” I lied.
“Don’t give me that shit Gabby, answer my question.”
“I… It’s nothing. Please.”
Allie was not about to drop this anytime soon. She rushed to the couch and took my ice cream away, and turned off the TV.
“I was trying to watch that.”
“You don’t watch soap operas Gabby. Stop it. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I took a deep breath and it hurt in my chest to even talk about it. The words were burning my throat as I was trying to say them.
“My dad.”
“Oh. Oh sweetie…”
Allie gave me a hug, she understood what those two words meant and why I didn’t want to do anything.
“You can’t beat yourself up over this Gabby. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“My brother said the same thing.”
“Yeah, and guess what? We’re right. You cannot sit here and act like this had anything to do with something you did, or didn’t do. It happened. End of story. I know your dad may not be the person you know or knew at this point, but he still wants you to live your life now. You can’t go around feeling sorry for yourself and him. You have to live.”
“I know.”
“Then you need to get up and do something.”
“Do what? There’s nothing for me to do right now.”
“Don’t you have a match coming up?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“You need to be ready. You’re a hot fucking mess right now. You need to get through that feeling right now Gabby. Didn’t they teach you that in the Army? Get through this?”
“You mean push through this.”
“Yes! Whatever, exactly!”
“I need some time.”
“You need to stop being a sad sack.”
Allie was giving me the tough love I actually really needed. Someone to just say “Hey, wake up” when it was time to wake up. And it was time to wake up. I looked at her and wiped some fresh tears from my eyes and hugged her. It was a long embrace, because I needed that comfort as well. It was amazing how well Allie actually knew me and everything. I was really at a loss for words.
It took a few minutes for me to calm myself down and finally look at Allie in the face.
“Thank you.”
Allie breathed a sigh of relief.
“Please, let’s go do something. We need to get away from here. Let’s go get coffee or go to the gym.”
“You want to go to the gym with me?”
Allie had never done this before. Well, once, and it didn’t end well for her.
“Something. Anything.”
I nodded, and hugged Allie again. She had been the friend I needed. Never wavering, never too good or too busy. Always there.
“Let’s go get coffee. I have to get back to work soon.”
Allie let out a laugh to break the tension. She hurried me to the door.
“We could just stay here and watch the soaps and eat the ice cream.”
“… No. “
Was all Allie responded with, giving me that look as we went out of the door, trying to get back to normal.
To quote Cool Hand Luke:
“What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it. . . well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men."
I said last time that Sam Tolson was as stubborn as a mule, and every time you turn around, it’s like someone has one upped her in that department, and she’s so eager to retain that coveted crown. I don’t think that Sam Tolson gets it. I don’t think she’s ever gotten it. So, let’s just understand exactly what’s going on here, shall we?
You see, Sam Tolson is about to challenge for my LAW championship. We’re about to beat the hell out of each other for at least two falls. Because it’s best 2 of 3. This is a shot that Sam Tolson has been waiting for, scratching and clawing her way to earning to get to this point. This is another great defining moment in her career and what could be the biggest match she will ever have in LAW. That is what’s at stake for her. And what did she do? She got mad that I’ve told the truth.
She’s not the first, she won’t be the last. But seriously? Come on now. For someone who is a student of the game like Sam claims to be, she failed to understand that in this game, people will talk shit about you to get ahead and beat you mentally, before they do so physically. And yes, I talked a lot of shit about Sam, and every ounce of it was the truth. Was I wrong? Does she go around yelling and screaming that people screw her out of wins or do dastardly things to gain an edge? Yes. Has she once ever just said “hey, good match, you were better and I need to be better next time?” No. Everything is always someone else’s fault. And is that what Sam is known for these days? Yes. It’s really simple, and I thought, I’ll say these things and Sam will either one, acknowledge them, and understand what she needs to do, or two, she’ll tell me everything I said about her, and be upset with me and try and she expected more from me, or whatever your choice of morally superior line she could choose form. And she choose the latter. Fucks sake.
I gave Sam the credit she deserved. And I called her on her shortcomings. Harsh criticism, but I think fair. I know, I know everyone says the same thing about Sam Tolson. It’s that Sam’s problem though? I mean if mostly everyone can say the same thing about you, then it’s most likely true. It’s not just me, it’s people who like her, and people who dislike her. But there’s Sam anyway, stubborn as a mule, refusing to accept and take a long look in the mirror and figure this shit out. Nope, can’t be that Sam Tolson has an issue, it’s everyone else. But outside of complaining online and wrestling, I have to ask just who the hell Sam Tolson actually is.
I’m going to lay this out right now. Sam Tolson the wrestler is something I know about. She’s a tough as nails bitch who can throw hands and throw suplexes just as well. She’s fucking #teamsuplex and I can respect that. I have respect for Sam Tolson, the wrestler. Sam Tolson the person, I don’t know. I mean, she instantly loses points for being a Chiefs fan, and outside of posting mostly pictures of herself with little to no clothes on, what is there? I was determined to find out all about Sam Tolson. I was eager to get inside the mindset of Sam Tolson heading into a big time championship match. How would she handle this LAW main event slot? Wanting to know how passionate she was about walking out of Rising Stars with the LAW champion. How she was going to win 2 falls and show everyone that she beats the stigma and she’s more than what people say she is. But as stated, Sam Tolson is being stubborn and just deflected my words back at me. She had every chance to change the narrative, and failed. She tried to tell me how mean and two-faced and whatever else I was because I built her up, and then tore her down.
That’s my job. That’s what I do. I have torn many of the ladies of LAW apart verbally, and some are still in their feelings about it to this day. And more importantly than that, I am the LAW champion. People are always coming at me sideways, people are always aiming for me, gunning for their shot to take me down. You’re trying to tell me that Sam Tolson is more concerned with what I can say about her, then her own gameplan? More worried about what comes out of my mouth then what she’s got for me? I was expecting a haymaker from Samantha Tolson, given all the times she’s been in big matches and how many she’s walked away from with her hand raised and titles collected. But instead, I got her standing there with her chin exposed and her hands behind her back. So yeah, I’m going to tag her right in her jaw. I’m going to try and knock her out. It’s my job. I’m paid to get my opponent out of there. So that’s my aim every time. If anybody, not just Sam Tolson, anybody wants to take the LAW championship from me, they have to come out swinging. Because if you don’t, you’ve already lost. Title opportunities don’t grow on trees, you gotta make the most of them. And Sam Tolson, right now, in my eyes, has FAILED to move the needle. To her, this isn’t anything important, because apparently, Sam’s so good she just has all these chances or something. So at this point, it’s almost like she’s disrespecting me.
So, I’m going to take it as she’s not taking me seriously, and not taking this match seriously. I live, breathe, sweat, bleed, all that shit, to be right here at the top. So if Sam thinks she’s about to walk in and just beat me like it’s nothing, she’s got another thing coming. I will beat her ass just like I would anyone else. And I see she’s coming in with a broken nose. Well, mask or not, I will not hesitate to make sure her nose is never going to sit right ever again.
Maybe, maybe this was all Sam’s goal the whole time. Rile me up so that I’m off my game, and I make a mistake. Maybe. But it has failed. At this point, with the way I’m feeling about this match right now, Sam Tolson will be lucky to make it TO the second fall, much less win the first or the second. I would implore Sam Tolson to light a fire under her ass and come to fight me like she has the last two times. Sam was hungry enough to earn it, but apparently, she’s full now and that’s only going to be a problem for her.
Because I’m not full. I’m about to whoop Sam Tolson’s ass and retain the LAW championship. I’m hoping Sam is ready for this. I really do. But she is about learn a hard lesson. And at the end of the night on Sunday, I will be walking out of Rising Stars, STILL the LAW champion.
I drove home in almost a daze. Everything was surreal. I had so many questions and literally no answers to anything. I weighed so many decisions on my mind. I mean, my father raised me, he molded and shaped me into the person I am today. I wouldn’t be anything without him. And now, to have that same person treat me like I’m some stranger, a nice girl who comes to visit him for some reason in effect, broke my heart.
I cried for a long time driving on the road. I didn’t know what the hell to do, and the one person who was always there to guide me in my time of need, no matter what it was, was now the problem himself. Do I keep up the charade of going back and visiting, knowing full well that he will never remember who I am, or what he is to me? Do I stop since there’s no point? Do I abandon the man who did all this because there’s no way I can help him? That feels like such a sellout move. It feels to me like I’m turning my back on him, in his time of need. But what other options did I have?
I returned home just wanting the world to go away. I called my brothers and basically told them that dad no longer knew who I was and what I should do about it. Julio thought I should still go, regardless, after all, he’s family. He’s our father and we owe him that much, simply as a parent. I argued the counter point, mostly to keep the conversation going, to talk me out of the entire argument I was making. Julio was adamant that we weren’t going to abandon our father, instead, we needed to be there no matter what. We couldn’t give up on him. It wasn’t our fault, and it wasn’t his fault. This was Mother Nature and father time, and they act without impunity. There wasn’t much we could do physically or mentally, but the same people showing up and giving him the love and respect he deserves, would be the right thing to do.
After this lengthy conversation I hung up with my brothers and cried some more. I felt so terrible. I didn’t want to just sit back and accept this as normal, because god damn it’s not normal. It’s a struggle and it hurt my heart. I wished and prayed and hoped there was something I could do to change everything, and the sad reality was, there wasn’t anything that could be done. Just saying “yeah, he’s sick and he’ll never be cured and I’m okay with that” is not okay. Maybe it’s delusional, and holding out hope against hope. But life, it makes us do crazy stupid things sometimes.
Allie had not heard the news, I hadn’t spoken to her, so her visit, or rather, when she just dropped by unannounced as she always did, she saw I was not myself and that I had been crying. I was in my home watching daytime soaps and eating a bucket of ice cream when she actually came in and saw me.
“Gabby? What happened? What’s wrong?”
I didn’t answer at first. I was zoned into my own little world and it took a second time of her basically shouting for me to snap out of it.
“Huh?”
“I asked you what happened. What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing.” I lied.
“Don’t give me that shit Gabby, answer my question.”
“I… It’s nothing. Please.”
Allie was not about to drop this anytime soon. She rushed to the couch and took my ice cream away, and turned off the TV.
“I was trying to watch that.”
“You don’t watch soap operas Gabby. Stop it. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I took a deep breath and it hurt in my chest to even talk about it. The words were burning my throat as I was trying to say them.
“My dad.”
“Oh. Oh sweetie…”
Allie gave me a hug, she understood what those two words meant and why I didn’t want to do anything.
“You can’t beat yourself up over this Gabby. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“My brother said the same thing.”
“Yeah, and guess what? We’re right. You cannot sit here and act like this had anything to do with something you did, or didn’t do. It happened. End of story. I know your dad may not be the person you know or knew at this point, but he still wants you to live your life now. You can’t go around feeling sorry for yourself and him. You have to live.”
“I know.”
“Then you need to get up and do something.”
“Do what? There’s nothing for me to do right now.”
“Don’t you have a match coming up?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“You need to be ready. You’re a hot fucking mess right now. You need to get through that feeling right now Gabby. Didn’t they teach you that in the Army? Get through this?”
“You mean push through this.”
“Yes! Whatever, exactly!”
“I need some time.”
“You need to stop being a sad sack.”
Allie was giving me the tough love I actually really needed. Someone to just say “Hey, wake up” when it was time to wake up. And it was time to wake up. I looked at her and wiped some fresh tears from my eyes and hugged her. It was a long embrace, because I needed that comfort as well. It was amazing how well Allie actually knew me and everything. I was really at a loss for words.
It took a few minutes for me to calm myself down and finally look at Allie in the face.
“Thank you.”
Allie breathed a sigh of relief.
“Please, let’s go do something. We need to get away from here. Let’s go get coffee or go to the gym.”
“You want to go to the gym with me?”
Allie had never done this before. Well, once, and it didn’t end well for her.
“Something. Anything.”
I nodded, and hugged Allie again. She had been the friend I needed. Never wavering, never too good or too busy. Always there.
“Let’s go get coffee. I have to get back to work soon.”
Allie let out a laugh to break the tension. She hurried me to the door.
“We could just stay here and watch the soaps and eat the ice cream.”
“… No. “
Was all Allie responded with, giving me that look as we went out of the door, trying to get back to normal.