Post by Kenzi Grey on Jul 19, 2017 3:50:32 GMT -5
LACKLANLAND WEST
West Hollywood, California
July 19, 2017
My first full night alone without Sarah beside me and I couldn’t even bear to sleep in the bed that we shared alone. It was too big…too empty…too cold without her there. I wanted to vomit just thinking about how big and empty everything was without her there to fill it.
I took my blanket and moved to the couch…our couch. The scene of many a lovemaking scene in Lacklanland West. It was smaller…it was cozy…it still smelled like her…like us…
What was left of us…
…BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ...
My phone rang and I was disappointed that it wasn’t Sarah. I don’t know what I was thinking. She would call me every hour on the hour or she would burst through the front door full of apologies and love? That was how it happened in the movies…but this wasn’t one. Instead of Sarah, it was my adoptive sister calling me. No doubt she had heard the news…
Hooray…
We said that we loved each other before we hung up. It was nice…but…what lay ahead wasn’t nice at all. Another full day without her seemed like a fucking prison sentence. I was going to be doing hard time all alone…with my mother…
West Hollywood, California
July 19, 2017
My first full night alone without Sarah beside me and I couldn’t even bear to sleep in the bed that we shared alone. It was too big…too empty…too cold without her there. I wanted to vomit just thinking about how big and empty everything was without her there to fill it.
I took my blanket and moved to the couch…our couch. The scene of many a lovemaking scene in Lacklanland West. It was smaller…it was cozy…it still smelled like her…like us…
What was left of us…
…BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ...
My phone rang and I was disappointed that it wasn’t Sarah. I don’t know what I was thinking. She would call me every hour on the hour or she would burst through the front door full of apologies and love? That was how it happened in the movies…but this wasn’t one. Instead of Sarah, it was my adoptive sister calling me. No doubt she had heard the news…
Hooray…
Melissa Reeves: Kenz? I feel like an asshole, because clearly I missed something. What's going on with you and Sarah?
Kenzi Grey: I pushed her away by holding her too tight. Its okay, it always happens, I should be use to it. I just thought this was going to be different.
Melissa Reeves: She told me she's a selfish bitch and asked me to beat the shit out of her. And I'm like...I have no idea what the hell's going on.
Kenzi Grey: She wanted space, so she went to New York with someone else. About it.
Melissa Reeves: Oh...shit. I mean, are you sure there's anything in that? Maybe it's innocent?
Kenzi Grey: I don't care Mel. She's there because she doesn't want to be here. What does it matter? She could have told me she didn't want me to go and that I was choking the life out of her and I would have let her go. She didn't have to lie. We never lie to eac...I don't lie, not to her.
Melissa Reeves: Ahh...I see. She lied about where she was. That's different. Where are you?
Kenzi Grey: On the couch.
Melissa Reeves: You're at our place? I haven't seen you there forever. Kinda got an army in here at the minute.
Kenzi Grey: Nah, I stayed in West Hollywood. My mother is here. That is your space now, I wouldn't go there uninvited.
Melissa Reeves: Whoa, no, don't be silly. Your room is still how you left it, you're always welcome back. Well, okay. Maybe I can come see you?
Kenzi Grey: I'll be fine. I know what I did wrong. I have to just live with it and maybe I can fix things...maybe.
Melissa Reeves: Hey, friends don't run away when a friend is in need, okay? They run toward.
Kenzi Grey: I know, and I appreciate this. I really do, but...this is all my fault. She might have lied and that hurt, but she told the truth afterwards...she told me why she needed space. I knew I would do this...I knew it from the start which is why I didn't want to get into this relationship in the first place. I fucked up...now I am paying for it. I earned this Mel.
Melissa Reeves: I can't fix this, Kenzi. That's for you two. I can listen to you though, I can maybe help you make sense of how you feel. Or, if nothing else, I can just sit with you whilst you think, so you're not alone.
Kenzi Grey: My mom is here. Sar wants me to spend time with her...so...I'll spend the time like she wants. Maybe she'll want me back if I do what she asks...I don't know.
Melissa Reeves: Okay, I won't push. The offer's there, okay?
Kenzi Grey: Thank you Sis. I'll be fine...assuming I don't murder my mother.
Melissa Reeves: I hope so, Kenz. Let me know if I can do anything, yeah?
Kenzi Grey: I will. Thank you.
We said that we loved each other before we hung up. It was nice…but…what lay ahead wasn’t nice at all. Another full day without her seemed like a fucking prison sentence. I was going to be doing hard time all alone…with my mother…