Post by Kenzi Grey on Nov 9, 2017 8:15:19 GMT -5
LADIES ALL-STAR WRESTLING #72
Cincinnati, Ohio
I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU...
It was mere minutes before I faced Maria Spencer...minutes before I punched my ticket to the biggest pay-per-view that LAW had to offer. I was ready to become the number one contender to the LAW Breakout Championship...I was ready to take what my wife knew I deserved. She was finally going to see me win...finally going to see me as a legitimate singles champion!
She was always on my mind...even when it should have been on the task at hand, my thoughts always turned to other things...thing I found more important than even air!
I love my life.
I love my wife.
I told her that she is my sun.
I told her that she is my moon.
I told her that she is my stars.
There is no lie in that…not ever.
When she isn’t around, I don’t feel complete. When she isn’t happy, neither am I. When she is overjoyed, I am at my very best.
This business with Jacob Hargrove has wounded us in ways that only she and I can see. My Baby is damaged, but…our love for one another is stronger...at least, that is how I feel. Jacob tried to take her away from me, and in so trying, he has only strengthened our bond. My Baby is wounded, but where she cannot walk, I will carry her.
Similarly, my ongoing issues with Milisandre Crowthorne and her ‘love’ for my wife has also wounded us…though, Sarah is unaware of it. Trust has been fractured, maybe even broken…and she has NO idea…
Lack of trust was what kept Sarah and me apart, even when I knew I loved her.
Lack of trust is what kept me from loving her the way she wanted, and deserved.
Lack of trust is what wounded me so badly when she left me because I smothered her.
Lack of trust is what could ultimately tear down all that we have built.
I have learned to trust her with all that I am, and I think that she does the same. She realizes that my faith is built on the idea of trust…and yet, I have broken my faith because I don’t want to hurt her by telling her that her best friend is in love with her.
Maybe it’s silly.
Maybe it’s nothing.
Maybe she will laugh and tell her ‘too bad Mils, I love my wife.’
…however…I know differently…
My Baby isn’t the cold and callous Firestarter when it comes to those she loves…truly loves. I know that she loves Milisandre, but I also know that her love is built on kinship, faith, and…trust.
I think…a part of Sarah will be flattered, because my Baby is as vain as I am and she expects to be loved, in that way.
I think…a part of Sarah will wonder…what if things were different...because Milisandre is perfect for her.
I think…Sarah will ponder on what she has done to foster those feelings in her ‘friend…’ especially in light of what just happened with Jacob.
But most of all…I think…Sarah will wonder, why did Milisandre not tell her before asking to stay with us?
Why didn’t she deal with those feelings when she knew that they would cause us all trouble?
Why did she even bother to tell me…of all people…instead of telling her?
I do love Milisandre like a sister, and as much as I love her, I’m not foolish enough to think that my love for her equals Sarah’s. I am wounded by this betrayal of trust…and I don’t know how to move past it. My wife will feel the same…my wife will feel it even more keenly than I do. It may not be rage, maybe only sorrow...but she will feel it in her very spirit.
I demanded that Milisandre tell Sarah because it was right that it come from her…not me. I have grown increasingly angry because Milisandre refuses to do the one thing that could have fixed this all from the start…tell the truth.
Trust is shattered.
Friendship is shattered.
I am shattered…
I don't want to see her face...not until she talks to Sarah! I don't want to see her...yet...she had to gall to show her face at LAW 72 all the same...even after I told her not to!
______________________
Following the show, I was a mess. My fist fight with Milisandre had left me with a bloody lip and what was sure to be a black eye. I could only hope that she had gotten it just as badly…hopefully even worse! I knew that Sarah wanted answers about what that was all about. For my part, I still didn’t want to be the bearer of the news that Milisandre was supposed to impart...that was her place, it always had been. For damn near the last three weeks she had sat on the telling Sarah…MY SARAH…that she was in love with her!
Sarah tried to press me for information on what our fight was all about…
“BELOVED! Tell me why you’re so angry! Why is this SO personal?!”
I wanted to answer her, but I didn’t…I couldn’t! Instead, I told Sarah to talk to ‘her friend’ as I was done talking about it. Just as I expected, she and I would see each other again at the pay-pwer-view for a legalized beating and this time Security wouldn’t stop me from putting her on her flat ass, once and for all! Hell! I’d even get to lay hands on Maria Spencer for trying to cripple me! Then, for good measure, even Nova Sinclair was thrown into the mix. I was going to be a giant cluster fuck for the LAW Breakout Title! The belt was what I wanted…but getting my hands around the appropriate necks was right up near the top, if you asked me.
All the way back to the hotel she badgered me, wanting me to just tell her what was going on. A soon as we got back to the room, I turned my attention to more primal endeavors. I continued to distract Sarah with sex, not only because I didn’t want to talk about Milisandre, but because I craved Sarah like a drug. She’d had her drug before she met me, her DRIVE, but now we had each other. She had her Beloved, and I had my Baby…my Selena.
I’d seen how torn she was over our fight, she didn’t want me at odds with her bestie, but she loved seeing the violent and vicious part of me. It was rarely on display, but tonight was different. I savaged her and I showed her that part of me that was the Alpha…the part of me that I would unleash against my opponents…very soon.
There was no more talk of Milisandre that night. I’d left her a babbling mess when I was done, and there was only one thing that she could say to me…
“…I’ll see her…I promise Beloved, we will talk…”
Milisandre had been dragging her feet, but that was going to end now. She was going to tell my wife everything, and then we would get back the trust that she had taken from us. I fell asleep holding her close, tight...mines.
Soon she’d be on her way back to Lacklanland to hash things out…and I’d be here, training…planning to give her, Maria, and Nova the ass kicking of a lifetime!
SHOOTING ON MY BIG BREAK
“So it comes down to this…a ladder match for the LAW Breakout Title…and not just one or even two number one contenders, but THREE! I aint gonna lie, but I am disappointed…I am fucking disappointed that no one recognizes that there is really only ONE person who deserves that opportunity! I thought that it was perfectly clear when Etsuko herself answered MY challenge after the last pay-per-view! I was the one who was going to get the title match! I called my shot and I blazed a path to it with amazing match after amazing match performance…and I only stumbled once, but never was I pinned…never was I submitted…never once did I lose to a single one of the people that our esteemed General Manager says is just as worthy at a shot at Etsuko as I am!"
"NOVA SINCLAIR, you are one heck of a talent in the ring! You proved that to Milisandre in a one on one match. And...I know that Roxy won’t appreciate me saying it, but truth is truth! When you got the call to lock up with the new Chaos Champion, you made the most of that as well! You have gone up against three 'hashtag' 'air quotes' Cool Kids and you have managed to defeat two of them…but as for that third, well…sweetie, you haven't beaten yours truly!"
"Nova, you didn’t get that coveted 'W' over me. In fact, when you and I came up against one another, I smashed your face into the mat with 'The Walk of Fame' and you didn’t get up when the referee counted to three. I'm not bragging, I am merely stating facts, just like you went out of your way to do over Twitter after you managed to beat Milisandre. So, maybe this is just what people do after they have a heck of a match, they puff out their chest and crow about it from the highest peak."
"...you haven't beaten me, and you won't beat me come Night of Glory either...no crowing for you..."
"That being said, I do want to be an honest broker. In that match...a tag team match, I didn’t get the pinfall, Milisandre STOLE it from me, but I suppose a win is a win, whether I pin those shoulders to the mat, or someone else does. At the end of the day, when you faced me, it was a bad day to be Nova Sinclair. In just under three weeks, you can change the venue and you can change the match stipulations, but you are not going to change the results! It’s going to be another bad day to be you when you face me...the woman who is the TRUE number one contender for the LAW Breakout Championship!"
"Nova, you had claimed that you weren’t ready to be a contender, because you had other fish to fry, namely the woman that walked out on you to avoid getting curve stomped; my former friend and protégé Maria Spencer. To be honest, I admired and I appreciated that. But fast forward to today and now all of a sudden you are ready…hang on…let me get my mind right and make sure I quote you properly, since I know how sensitive you are about accuracy. You said…"
‘I did what I said I was going to do. Time to rest and relax for a bit' … 'before heading to Long Island to win me a title!’
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?!"
"I worked too damn hard and I did two things that you NEVER did, I kept my eyes on the prize, and I kept my back off the mat! I have never wavered ONCE in my quest to challenge for and win that title! I never once backtracked, backpeddled, or backstroked! I have made my intentions crystal clear and I thought that you were making yours clear too, but as soon as I confronted you, you had this to say…"
‘Win or lose, it doesn’t matter to me. I’m just focused on making sure that Maria doesn’t get it.’
"Am I crazy? One moment you were resting up before you went to Long Island to ‘win a title’ and the next moment, you were just going to be there to make sure Maria Spencer didn’t win it? Well Nova, that is some crafty wording you were doing. I saw you hedging your bets, or were you really just trying to lull us all into the false sense of security? Believe me Nova, you need to stick to realistic goals, and as far as you are concerned…that will be stopping Maria Spencer, while you lose to me! I respect what you’ve done Nova, but I don’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth!"
"And since we are on the topic of MARIA SPENCER, why don't we dig into that next? Maria, I have to admit, I didn’t think that you were serious about putting a ‘hit’ on me at LAW 72, but you were. You pulled out a couple of bottom of the barrel has-beens and gave them jobs. Bravo Maria for doing your part to keep those two would-be welfare queens of yours off the stripper pole and off the street corner, but you need to keep them out of my way! I’ll be the first to admit, you came within an eyelash of beating me, but that was with the help of your so-called ‘Hit Girls!’ When I showed up in Cincinnati with AMC and Alexis Blake, a couple of certified HIT GIRLS, your two family members found out what it REALLY feels like to have a hit put out on you! When it was one on one, just like you said; someone was going to be sleepin' wit th fishes, and at the end of the night, that person was YOU!"
"Do yourself a HUGE favor Maria, leave those two lap dogs at home when we head to New York. Practice hard on your James Cagney mafia impression and come to Long Island alone to catch yourself a good old fashioned beating, just like you deserve! You didn’t have anything to say to me after you beat Etsuko, except that you were now the number one contender for Etsuko’s championship…because you beat the champ in a one on one match…"
"Well…I beat you at LAW 72 in a one on one match, so what does that make me? Allow me to tell you Maria, that makes me the new Don of the Breakout Division and you? You’re just another hapless mark who’s gonna get laid down before it’s all over and done with! You think that you learned from me, just because you got straight A’s in Kentourage School of Cheating? Well, I have forgotten more than you can ever hope to know, and if you think for a single moment that I am going to let you take what you think you know and use it to shock the world, think again! Instead of me teaching you how to outsmart the referee and your opponents, I should have taught you how to NOT go outsmarting yourself!"
"Keep your eyes focused on all the wrong that I have done to you...or that you THINK I have done to you Maria. Keep spinning that tale that you were just an innocent doe eyed General Manager who came to LAW to do what was right, until Ms. Kenzi took it all away. Keep telling yourself that what you are doing now...the whole 'I'm the bad girl of LAW' thing is all my fault! You keep on lying to yourself about what you are in this company and what you think your destiny is. Come Night of Glory, I am going to shatter those notions for you, I am going to spoon feed the truth to you in the form of one more loss that I hope brings you back to your senses!"
"...you might have beaten the champion...but that does not a champion make..."
"Maybe the General Manager was right to put you in this match, so that I could show you that very fact! The first time you and I faced each other, you did the right thing for Maria Spencer, you tucked tail and ran so that Nova could catch your whipping. The second time we faced each other, you brought help, but in the end you were the one that went tap dancing. The third time we meet up; well I'm going to go out on a limb here and tell you straight up...as bad as it went for you the first two times, it is going to be worse when they toss in ladders and a championship in the offering!"
"FUHGETABOUTIT might be your new catch phrase, but trust me Maria...after Night of Glory, all you are going to want to do is forget about the night that you found out who the one and only Breakout Champion is!"
“Right now, in this moment, that one and only champion is you ETSUKO. You have been a champion in name for quite some time, but in New York, you are going to have the chance to be a champion in deed. I know that you’ll find that to be a very delicious prospect, especially after being all but forgotten at the last pay-per-view. You got to sit on the sidelines and pad your record…probably not by choice, but I didn’t hear you complaining about it either! You got to walk around since the end of August calling yourself a champion of Ladies All-Star Wrestling without ever ONCE having to prove to anyone that you really were deserving of that accolade.”
“…come Night of Glory that all changes…”
“The easy thing for me to do would be to say that Maria Spencer beat you and I beat Maria Spencer, so when I face you the match is a forgone conclusion, but I’m not that naïve. Random elements of ladders and three other women in the match aside, you are the champion for a reason. In April you managed to beat a friend of mines and take away a title that she captured and defended with honor. Kudos for that. Beating Orchid isn’t an easy feat, and there are very few women here in LAW that can say that they did that twice, and fewer still that can say that they became a champion…but you can…”
“…that will be past tense after Night of Glory…”
“After six long months you get to prove to the world that not only could you beat the previous champion, but now you can beat every single woman in LAW that claims to be a contender for your title. You get a chance to redeem the fact that your title hasn’t seen the light of day since the month of May! You get a chance to clean out the division in a single night!”
“Hell! When I think about it that way, this all makes perfect sense, and maybe Megan Helms-King was right to make this a four-way match. What better way to erase the fact that you haven’t had to prove yourself more than once in all that time, than making you prove yourself against three of the best that they have to offer in a single night?”
“You’ll walk in as Breakout Champion, Etsuko, but you will not leave the same way you walk in! You are not going to get the chance to erase away all the bad in a single night by climbing a ladder and snatching down a title that has been neglected to the point that management didn’t even think to give you an opponent at Queen of the Ring. That all changes when you and I finally get to come face to face. Covet your reign as champion while you can…this month, it comes to an end!”
“…all things come to an end, one way or another…even friendships…”
“That brings me to the last of the ‘would-be’ champions; that brings me to my Cool Kids ‘ally’ MILISANDRE CROWTHORNE. Milisandre, you and I have been through a lot together in the short span of time that we have known each other. You came into my life at a time when I was busy building a future with a woman that you and I both adore…my wife…my Sarah Selena Lacklan…”
“…mines…mines, mines, MINES…”
“We opened up our home and our hearts to you! We made you a part of our family, and as for me…I not only shared with you the most intimate parts of who I am, I also asked you to be a part in planning that very day that Sarah and I chose to make our union official. You were the one person that I picked above all others to see that the most important day of my life was just as magical as every young girl who dreams of one day getting married hopes it will be. You helped to bear the ring that symbolized that unbreakable bond between Sarah and I…”
“…unbreakable bonds Milisandre…you were there to see what it meant to the two of us…”
“So, now…are you STILL confused as to why I am so incredibly pissed off at you for not realizing what that means? Are you STILL confused as to why I feel like you, out of ALL the people in the world have wounded me far deeper than I thought possible? You know my heart just as well as my own wife! You know what I want as much as anyone one else on the planet…save one! Yet, you have the nerve to put yourself between that?!”
“Your words to me echo in my ears; telling me that you’d never hurt me and that you’d never stand in my way, and yet your actions don’t show it! You can’t even stick to your own word when you give it to me! You had ONE way to make things between us right! You told me that you were going to make it right…and I waited…”
“…and I waited…”
“…and I waited…”
“…AND I WAITED…”
“Milisandre…I am STILL waiting for you to do the right thing by me! I am STILL waiting for you to show me that you are truly the friend that you made yourself out to be to me and my wife! I am STILL waiting for you to be something other than a backstabbing, claim jumping, LIAR!”
“I am done waiting and I am done giving you passes. Tomorrow you have one last chance to at least come clean to the person that means the most to the two of us…under her roof no less. You have the chance to make amends in that regard…but that will not save you when we face each other at Night of Glory. I owe you for all the long months that you lived under my roof, all the long months that you ate from my table, and all the long months that you coveted what was mines! I owe you for saying that you are one thing…and then being another.”
“…you say that you are the woman who deserves to be Breakout Champion…”
“Well, yeah…you blazed a trail to make that claim, up until after the Queen of the Ring. Since then, you haven’t been anything that you claimed to be. You have lost time and time again, all while still beating your chest and telling anyone who will listen that YOU are the next Breakout Champion! You are great at saying that you are one thing and being another, just like your recent track record points out!”
“Night of Glory isn’t going to be any different Milisandre. It will just be another night that you walk into the lives of people who you lie to and tell them you are THIS…and at the end of the night, you only prove to the masses that you are only something else entirely. You aren’t any kind of friend to me, and on the 27th of this month, you aren’t going to leave the pay-per-view as any kind of champion either!”
“…I owe you pain…and I am going to make good on that, believe what I tell you…”
“None of the women in that ladder match deserve to leave with that title around their waist. They might all think that they have a claim to it….they may all think that they have some kind of momentum or some kind of angle that makes them the ONE who will climb over the rest and snatch down that symbol of excellence that proves it to the world. Well, ladders are tall for a reason, and that is so we can reach great heights…and to reach great heights, one must risk a great fall. In the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum three women are going to take a very great fall as they watch me climb a ladder and take what belongs to me, by right!”
“I am not going to stand by as Nova waxes and wanes about what it is that she intends to do and why she intends to do it!”
“I am not going to let Maria scheme and plot to take me down for imaginary wrongs that she thinks I did to her to turn her into a caricature of who she use to be!”
“I am not going to let Etsuko continue to be content to just be nothing more than a pretty coat rack from which to drape a title belt!”
“I am not going to be blinded by Milisandre and her claims to be a friend and a championship contender when in fact she is neither!”
“I have never walked into a match with my head held higher than I intend to do at Night of Glory IV when I have an opportunity to do something that I have never ever done in this business, and that is show the world who I am and what I am capable of doing! I have never walked into an arena and stepped through the ropes knowing that when that bell sounds to start the match, when it rings for a second time, the ending was never in question, not only for myself, but for the women that find themselves standing across from me!”
“I AM your next Breakout Champion…not because I say so…but because there is no one in that match who can stop it from happening…”
THE DARK...
November 7, 2017
Today was the day that Sarah had 'the talk' with Milisandre and the air was finally cleared. Milisandre would tell Sarah that she had been in love with her from the start, living under her roof as she hid that love...not unlike Jacob Hargrove had done only months earlier. That betrayal had nearly led to tragedy in Cincinnati...a place that we would have to stop off at for Sarah to provide one more statement to the police regarding that son of a bitch!
We got there early and while I wanted to go with her, she insisted that I stay. She'd endure the pain of what he had attempted to do to her one last time, and she didn't want me sullied by it...not again. She'd give her statement and head off to Lacklanland alone to talk to Milisandre. As soon as that business was done, she'd be right back and we would finally put everything behind us. We would train together and focus on our upcoming title opportunities. She told me, in no uncertain terms...
"We must be ready to fight Beloved! We must be ready to fight and to win! Never give up...never stop fighting!"
Off she went while I stayed behind and I trained...I trained and I focused on the words that she said to me. I'd have to fight! I'd have to be ready to fight and to win!
I'd have to be ready for Nova Sinclair, the woman who had beaten Milisandre...and the woman who had found a way to beat the Chaos Champion, my friend Roxy Cotton. Nova was on a tear and though she hadn't had her eyes on the Breakout Title, she now had the opportunity at it. I would have to be ready for her! Ready to fight and win!
I prepared for Maria Spencer...even harder. She had come at me at LAW 72 with fury and anger, and in the end, she had nearly found a way to beat me. Yes, she had learned her underhanded tactics from me, but the truth was that I should have seen it coming and been ready for it. I had narrowly escaped her, but I couldn't sleep on her again, or I would be sleepin' wit th fishes!
Finally, there was Milisandre Crowthorne, my former best friend...turned bitter enemy over her love for what was mines! I would train for her the hardest of all! Not only because I saw her as the biggest threat, but because she had hurt me in ways that Nova and Maria would never be able to. She had ripped out my heart and stomped on it! I was going to return the favor!
Sweat poured off me like a river as I focused on the task at hand. I nearly missed the chime of my phone. I reached over and grabbed it and rolled my eyes as I saw who it was from...fucking Milisandre! "...what does this bitch want..." I swore under my breath...
I call Bruce myself, not wanting to even have her hand him her phone, if I could help it. I wanted to do it myself! If she was lying, I was going to be done with her ass! She had strung me along for damn near three weeks! NO MORE! I she had found a way to get out of talking to Sarah again, I was going to tell Bruce right then and there about the 'so-called' love of his life! I was done playing games, I was...
...terrified...
When the story popped up, I was frozen with fear...rooted to the spot. Why was he on the loose? How had that happened, and why now?! It was Sarah! It was always Sarah! She was in danger...and I had to go to her! I had to...
"Mrs. Lacklan? We need you to come with us."
I turned and saw a pair of uniformed police officers standing there. I didn't remember seeing them enter the gym, but there they were and I knew that they bore ill tidings. I must have been out of my head...that or I just responded as I texted Milisandre back...I was a complete wreck...
______________________________
The officers were probably ready to throw me in the trunk as kept asking them if they knew anything about my wife. Had they captured Jacob. Did they know that he was after Sarah? They didn't answer my questions, just told me that I would be meeting a Detective soon. In the end, I didn't need the Detective to tell me anything.
My worst fears were confirmed...and now I was inconsolable...
____________________________________________
Hours passed and it felt like days. They kept asking me questions...and I was wondering if I was a suspect. They wouldn't tell me anything at all...only that they were still looking. They told me that this situation was dangerous and I would have to stay in custody until this incident was resolved. I was bawling and I was ready to run screaming out that door, police be damned! My Baby was out there, with some fucking rapist asshole with the world's worst Justin Bieber hairdo! He had to be found...he had to be stopped before something horrible happened...
...it was too late...something horrible happened...
I fainted, dead away...
______________________________
When I came to, I was completely numb as the police officers escorted me to the hospital. I hadn’t remembered anything after they said…whatever it was that they said...what they kept on saying. It was a jumble of words now, they hardly made sense…
“...we found him...”
“...there was a chase...”
“...bad accident...”
“...your wife was injured...”
The lump in my throat threatened to choke me, my eyes blurred with tears, and I felt like I was suffocating. I stared at the officer’s mouth as he spoke, but it took a moment for the words to register...
“...Jacob Hargrove escaped, he kidnapped Mrs. Lacklan. He stole a car and there was a police chase...”
He’d taken her again! How had he escaped? How had they allowed this to fucking happen?! He was locked up tight! The danger was over for us…we had escaped him together…hadn’t we?
“...the car flipped and Jacob Hargrove and your wife were injured. Mrs. Lacklan is severely injured and Jacob Hargrove is...”
“SARAH!”
I didn’t give a damn about Jacob, in fact, I never wanted to hear his name again! He had caused us enough pain and I wanted him put out of our misery! I hoped he was dead…I prayed for it, even though that wasn’t my faith. Sarah believed in God and angels and miracles. If you lived your life the right way and you prayed really REALLY hard, HE would hear you. I wanted HIM to hear me, and I wanted him to strike Jacob Hargrove dead...FUCKING DEAD!
_________________________
They escorted me to the medical center. I looked like death, warmed over. I had been in protective custody for hours. As soon as they knew to forgo any silly waiting games after Jacob escaped and my wife disappeared. I was grateful, but my thoughts were not for myself...never for myself. Only my wife...only my Selena...only for my Baby.
"I NEED TO SEE HER! I HAVE TO SEE HER RIGHT NOW! I DEMAND TO SEE MY WIFE!"
As soon as we entered the hospital, I made such a scene, I was nearly sedated. I ranted, I raved, I screamed, and I cried. Finally, a doctor came over to see me. He held me by my shoulders, forced me to calm down and he told me how she was doing. She had been injured when the car flipped over. She hadn't been in a seatbelt and she'd been thrown around...violently. He said that she was lapsing in and out of consciousness. It was probably a result of some injury she'd sustained, but they'd have to operate. I could only see her for a few moments while they prepped the room for surgery.
He led me to the tiny space that was surrounded by curtains. The place smelled like copper and bleach. When I saw her, I know I cried out, but I didn’t hear it...my heart was thundering too hard in my ears. I ran to her side, where she was lying in the bed with lines and hoses crisscrossing her body. She looked fine...there was a small cut over her left eye...some bruises here and there on her ghostly pale skin. Nothing more…
“...her injuries are internal...”
I ignored the doctor...the nurse...whoever it was who had spoken. They didn't exist for me...not anymore...
I took her hand in mines, kissing it and babbling nonsensically as I told her how much I loved her, told her she’d be okay...but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was wrong, that I’d never speak with her again. Why did I feel that way? It made the bile rise up in the back of my throat, it disgusted me…until she spoke...
“...Beloved...I don’t w-want to leave you...”
I felt her hand squeeze mines, her eyes filled with tears, focused on me...seeing me, seeing me so clearly. She was awake! She was with me…but…for how long?! I couldn't say...I couldn't tell...I was desperate.
“DON’T LEAVE!”
Again her hand squeezed mines. I felt the strength in them…but…I felt the strength ebbing. I squeezed her hand back, hoping to lend her some of my own strength. What little I had left was hers for the taking. When she spoke again, I hung on her every word.
“...I have to see Mils, I...I think she’s going to tell me…she’s in love with you...”
I almost laughed. After all that had happened and all that we said, she had gotten it all wrong. She thought that it was about me. I grew sullen as I realized that she was delirious. She had no idea where she was or what she was saying. That was fine...she was with me, and she was still speaking…
“She’s...she’s so a-awkward. Don’t be cross with her, I understand, many love mines…m-many love my Dark Goddess, but you are mines.”
Her hand went slack as her eyes unfocused, nearly slipping from my grasp. I stood there in a panic, were those her last words to me?
“Baby? BABY!”
Her eyes fluttered, they were wide with panic for a moment. I could tell she was reliving a moment of fear, unsure of where she was. She gripped my hand and when I squeezed it back, she exhaled and seemed to grow calm.
“...we have to fight Beloved...promise me you’ll fight, promise me you’ll never stop...”
“Baby?” I didn’t care about fighting…I didn’t care about titles…I didn’t care about anything by my best friend, my wife, my…everything! I was breaking into pieces, shattered to my core. “Don’t leave!”
“...never...” she took in a breath, “I’ll follow you...”
She fell silent, her eyes unfocused, her hand light in mines. She stared off into the cold nothingness…
“...into the dark...” I finished, her favorite phrase of devotion to me.
They came and they took her away...and I was all alone again…alone in the dark…
______________________________
I called Sarah’s friends…the other Cool Kids…Angie, Sativa, Roxy, and I told them the news. They needed to hear it from me, not just from the hate and the lies that were being spewed all over the news and from those who hated us on social media.
I called Kitty Galore, a friend that Sarah adored and loved and she came to us.
I set aside my jealousy and my anger and I called Milisandre…and I asked her to come. I didn’t know why I had done it, other than the fact that she loved Sarah as much as I did and it only seemed right that she be here too. The tension between us melted away in the face of the reality that the woman we both loved could be lost to us forever.
We held each other…as friends once again…our feud forgotten…at least for the moment…
Hours later they said that the surgery was a success. I wasn't going to lose her...but I could tell by the looks on their faces that there was more to be said...much more. When they spoke, it came to me like bits and pieces...I saw their lips moving and the words falling out, but they made no sense, or maybe I just didn't want to hear them...
"...it's some kind of catatonia..."
"...an unresponsive stupor..."
"...possibly drug related..."
"...can't be sure..."
My Baby, my Selena, my Firestarter, my wife...so strong and proud, fierce and infuriating was rendered silent, barely mobile, and they didn't know why...or exactly what it was. Jacob Hargrove was in the same state. He had forced her to ingest something...and he himself had taken it as well. He couldn't have her in all her glory, so he found a way to diminish her light...the same light that I would one day follow into the dark...
...soon...
...but not yet...not quite yet...
...I still had to fight...until I joined her again...
Cincinnati, Ohio
I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU...
It was mere minutes before I faced Maria Spencer...minutes before I punched my ticket to the biggest pay-per-view that LAW had to offer. I was ready to become the number one contender to the LAW Breakout Championship...I was ready to take what my wife knew I deserved. She was finally going to see me win...finally going to see me as a legitimate singles champion!
She was always on my mind...even when it should have been on the task at hand, my thoughts always turned to other things...thing I found more important than even air!
I love my life.
I love my wife.
I told her that she is my sun.
I told her that she is my moon.
I told her that she is my stars.
There is no lie in that…not ever.
When she isn’t around, I don’t feel complete. When she isn’t happy, neither am I. When she is overjoyed, I am at my very best.
This business with Jacob Hargrove has wounded us in ways that only she and I can see. My Baby is damaged, but…our love for one another is stronger...at least, that is how I feel. Jacob tried to take her away from me, and in so trying, he has only strengthened our bond. My Baby is wounded, but where she cannot walk, I will carry her.
Similarly, my ongoing issues with Milisandre Crowthorne and her ‘love’ for my wife has also wounded us…though, Sarah is unaware of it. Trust has been fractured, maybe even broken…and she has NO idea…
Lack of trust was what kept Sarah and me apart, even when I knew I loved her.
Lack of trust is what kept me from loving her the way she wanted, and deserved.
Lack of trust is what wounded me so badly when she left me because I smothered her.
Lack of trust is what could ultimately tear down all that we have built.
I have learned to trust her with all that I am, and I think that she does the same. She realizes that my faith is built on the idea of trust…and yet, I have broken my faith because I don’t want to hurt her by telling her that her best friend is in love with her.
Maybe it’s silly.
Maybe it’s nothing.
Maybe she will laugh and tell her ‘too bad Mils, I love my wife.’
…however…I know differently…
My Baby isn’t the cold and callous Firestarter when it comes to those she loves…truly loves. I know that she loves Milisandre, but I also know that her love is built on kinship, faith, and…trust.
I think…a part of Sarah will be flattered, because my Baby is as vain as I am and she expects to be loved, in that way.
I think…a part of Sarah will wonder…what if things were different...because Milisandre is perfect for her.
I think…Sarah will ponder on what she has done to foster those feelings in her ‘friend…’ especially in light of what just happened with Jacob.
But most of all…I think…Sarah will wonder, why did Milisandre not tell her before asking to stay with us?
Why didn’t she deal with those feelings when she knew that they would cause us all trouble?
Why did she even bother to tell me…of all people…instead of telling her?
I do love Milisandre like a sister, and as much as I love her, I’m not foolish enough to think that my love for her equals Sarah’s. I am wounded by this betrayal of trust…and I don’t know how to move past it. My wife will feel the same…my wife will feel it even more keenly than I do. It may not be rage, maybe only sorrow...but she will feel it in her very spirit.
I demanded that Milisandre tell Sarah because it was right that it come from her…not me. I have grown increasingly angry because Milisandre refuses to do the one thing that could have fixed this all from the start…tell the truth.
Trust is shattered.
Friendship is shattered.
I am shattered…
I don't want to see her face...not until she talks to Sarah! I don't want to see her...yet...she had to gall to show her face at LAW 72 all the same...even after I told her not to!
______________________
Following the show, I was a mess. My fist fight with Milisandre had left me with a bloody lip and what was sure to be a black eye. I could only hope that she had gotten it just as badly…hopefully even worse! I knew that Sarah wanted answers about what that was all about. For my part, I still didn’t want to be the bearer of the news that Milisandre was supposed to impart...that was her place, it always had been. For damn near the last three weeks she had sat on the telling Sarah…MY SARAH…that she was in love with her!
Sarah tried to press me for information on what our fight was all about…
“BELOVED! Tell me why you’re so angry! Why is this SO personal?!”
I wanted to answer her, but I didn’t…I couldn’t! Instead, I told Sarah to talk to ‘her friend’ as I was done talking about it. Just as I expected, she and I would see each other again at the pay-pwer-view for a legalized beating and this time Security wouldn’t stop me from putting her on her flat ass, once and for all! Hell! I’d even get to lay hands on Maria Spencer for trying to cripple me! Then, for good measure, even Nova Sinclair was thrown into the mix. I was going to be a giant cluster fuck for the LAW Breakout Title! The belt was what I wanted…but getting my hands around the appropriate necks was right up near the top, if you asked me.
All the way back to the hotel she badgered me, wanting me to just tell her what was going on. A soon as we got back to the room, I turned my attention to more primal endeavors. I continued to distract Sarah with sex, not only because I didn’t want to talk about Milisandre, but because I craved Sarah like a drug. She’d had her drug before she met me, her DRIVE, but now we had each other. She had her Beloved, and I had my Baby…my Selena.
I’d seen how torn she was over our fight, she didn’t want me at odds with her bestie, but she loved seeing the violent and vicious part of me. It was rarely on display, but tonight was different. I savaged her and I showed her that part of me that was the Alpha…the part of me that I would unleash against my opponents…very soon.
There was no more talk of Milisandre that night. I’d left her a babbling mess when I was done, and there was only one thing that she could say to me…
“…I’ll see her…I promise Beloved, we will talk…”
Milisandre had been dragging her feet, but that was going to end now. She was going to tell my wife everything, and then we would get back the trust that she had taken from us. I fell asleep holding her close, tight...mines.
Soon she’d be on her way back to Lacklanland to hash things out…and I’d be here, training…planning to give her, Maria, and Nova the ass kicking of a lifetime!
SHOOTING ON MY BIG BREAK
“So it comes down to this…a ladder match for the LAW Breakout Title…and not just one or even two number one contenders, but THREE! I aint gonna lie, but I am disappointed…I am fucking disappointed that no one recognizes that there is really only ONE person who deserves that opportunity! I thought that it was perfectly clear when Etsuko herself answered MY challenge after the last pay-per-view! I was the one who was going to get the title match! I called my shot and I blazed a path to it with amazing match after amazing match performance…and I only stumbled once, but never was I pinned…never was I submitted…never once did I lose to a single one of the people that our esteemed General Manager says is just as worthy at a shot at Etsuko as I am!"
"NOVA SINCLAIR, you are one heck of a talent in the ring! You proved that to Milisandre in a one on one match. And...I know that Roxy won’t appreciate me saying it, but truth is truth! When you got the call to lock up with the new Chaos Champion, you made the most of that as well! You have gone up against three 'hashtag' 'air quotes' Cool Kids and you have managed to defeat two of them…but as for that third, well…sweetie, you haven't beaten yours truly!"
"Nova, you didn’t get that coveted 'W' over me. In fact, when you and I came up against one another, I smashed your face into the mat with 'The Walk of Fame' and you didn’t get up when the referee counted to three. I'm not bragging, I am merely stating facts, just like you went out of your way to do over Twitter after you managed to beat Milisandre. So, maybe this is just what people do after they have a heck of a match, they puff out their chest and crow about it from the highest peak."
"...you haven't beaten me, and you won't beat me come Night of Glory either...no crowing for you..."
"That being said, I do want to be an honest broker. In that match...a tag team match, I didn’t get the pinfall, Milisandre STOLE it from me, but I suppose a win is a win, whether I pin those shoulders to the mat, or someone else does. At the end of the day, when you faced me, it was a bad day to be Nova Sinclair. In just under three weeks, you can change the venue and you can change the match stipulations, but you are not going to change the results! It’s going to be another bad day to be you when you face me...the woman who is the TRUE number one contender for the LAW Breakout Championship!"
"Nova, you had claimed that you weren’t ready to be a contender, because you had other fish to fry, namely the woman that walked out on you to avoid getting curve stomped; my former friend and protégé Maria Spencer. To be honest, I admired and I appreciated that. But fast forward to today and now all of a sudden you are ready…hang on…let me get my mind right and make sure I quote you properly, since I know how sensitive you are about accuracy. You said…"
‘I did what I said I was going to do. Time to rest and relax for a bit' … 'before heading to Long Island to win me a title!’
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?!"
"I worked too damn hard and I did two things that you NEVER did, I kept my eyes on the prize, and I kept my back off the mat! I have never wavered ONCE in my quest to challenge for and win that title! I never once backtracked, backpeddled, or backstroked! I have made my intentions crystal clear and I thought that you were making yours clear too, but as soon as I confronted you, you had this to say…"
‘Win or lose, it doesn’t matter to me. I’m just focused on making sure that Maria doesn’t get it.’
"Am I crazy? One moment you were resting up before you went to Long Island to ‘win a title’ and the next moment, you were just going to be there to make sure Maria Spencer didn’t win it? Well Nova, that is some crafty wording you were doing. I saw you hedging your bets, or were you really just trying to lull us all into the false sense of security? Believe me Nova, you need to stick to realistic goals, and as far as you are concerned…that will be stopping Maria Spencer, while you lose to me! I respect what you’ve done Nova, but I don’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth!"
"And since we are on the topic of MARIA SPENCER, why don't we dig into that next? Maria, I have to admit, I didn’t think that you were serious about putting a ‘hit’ on me at LAW 72, but you were. You pulled out a couple of bottom of the barrel has-beens and gave them jobs. Bravo Maria for doing your part to keep those two would-be welfare queens of yours off the stripper pole and off the street corner, but you need to keep them out of my way! I’ll be the first to admit, you came within an eyelash of beating me, but that was with the help of your so-called ‘Hit Girls!’ When I showed up in Cincinnati with AMC and Alexis Blake, a couple of certified HIT GIRLS, your two family members found out what it REALLY feels like to have a hit put out on you! When it was one on one, just like you said; someone was going to be sleepin' wit th fishes, and at the end of the night, that person was YOU!"
"Do yourself a HUGE favor Maria, leave those two lap dogs at home when we head to New York. Practice hard on your James Cagney mafia impression and come to Long Island alone to catch yourself a good old fashioned beating, just like you deserve! You didn’t have anything to say to me after you beat Etsuko, except that you were now the number one contender for Etsuko’s championship…because you beat the champ in a one on one match…"
"Well…I beat you at LAW 72 in a one on one match, so what does that make me? Allow me to tell you Maria, that makes me the new Don of the Breakout Division and you? You’re just another hapless mark who’s gonna get laid down before it’s all over and done with! You think that you learned from me, just because you got straight A’s in Kentourage School of Cheating? Well, I have forgotten more than you can ever hope to know, and if you think for a single moment that I am going to let you take what you think you know and use it to shock the world, think again! Instead of me teaching you how to outsmart the referee and your opponents, I should have taught you how to NOT go outsmarting yourself!"
"Keep your eyes focused on all the wrong that I have done to you...or that you THINK I have done to you Maria. Keep spinning that tale that you were just an innocent doe eyed General Manager who came to LAW to do what was right, until Ms. Kenzi took it all away. Keep telling yourself that what you are doing now...the whole 'I'm the bad girl of LAW' thing is all my fault! You keep on lying to yourself about what you are in this company and what you think your destiny is. Come Night of Glory, I am going to shatter those notions for you, I am going to spoon feed the truth to you in the form of one more loss that I hope brings you back to your senses!"
"...you might have beaten the champion...but that does not a champion make..."
"Maybe the General Manager was right to put you in this match, so that I could show you that very fact! The first time you and I faced each other, you did the right thing for Maria Spencer, you tucked tail and ran so that Nova could catch your whipping. The second time we faced each other, you brought help, but in the end you were the one that went tap dancing. The third time we meet up; well I'm going to go out on a limb here and tell you straight up...as bad as it went for you the first two times, it is going to be worse when they toss in ladders and a championship in the offering!"
"FUHGETABOUTIT might be your new catch phrase, but trust me Maria...after Night of Glory, all you are going to want to do is forget about the night that you found out who the one and only Breakout Champion is!"
“Right now, in this moment, that one and only champion is you ETSUKO. You have been a champion in name for quite some time, but in New York, you are going to have the chance to be a champion in deed. I know that you’ll find that to be a very delicious prospect, especially after being all but forgotten at the last pay-per-view. You got to sit on the sidelines and pad your record…probably not by choice, but I didn’t hear you complaining about it either! You got to walk around since the end of August calling yourself a champion of Ladies All-Star Wrestling without ever ONCE having to prove to anyone that you really were deserving of that accolade.”
“…come Night of Glory that all changes…”
“The easy thing for me to do would be to say that Maria Spencer beat you and I beat Maria Spencer, so when I face you the match is a forgone conclusion, but I’m not that naïve. Random elements of ladders and three other women in the match aside, you are the champion for a reason. In April you managed to beat a friend of mines and take away a title that she captured and defended with honor. Kudos for that. Beating Orchid isn’t an easy feat, and there are very few women here in LAW that can say that they did that twice, and fewer still that can say that they became a champion…but you can…”
“…that will be past tense after Night of Glory…”
“After six long months you get to prove to the world that not only could you beat the previous champion, but now you can beat every single woman in LAW that claims to be a contender for your title. You get a chance to redeem the fact that your title hasn’t seen the light of day since the month of May! You get a chance to clean out the division in a single night!”
“Hell! When I think about it that way, this all makes perfect sense, and maybe Megan Helms-King was right to make this a four-way match. What better way to erase the fact that you haven’t had to prove yourself more than once in all that time, than making you prove yourself against three of the best that they have to offer in a single night?”
“You’ll walk in as Breakout Champion, Etsuko, but you will not leave the same way you walk in! You are not going to get the chance to erase away all the bad in a single night by climbing a ladder and snatching down a title that has been neglected to the point that management didn’t even think to give you an opponent at Queen of the Ring. That all changes when you and I finally get to come face to face. Covet your reign as champion while you can…this month, it comes to an end!”
“…all things come to an end, one way or another…even friendships…”
“That brings me to the last of the ‘would-be’ champions; that brings me to my Cool Kids ‘ally’ MILISANDRE CROWTHORNE. Milisandre, you and I have been through a lot together in the short span of time that we have known each other. You came into my life at a time when I was busy building a future with a woman that you and I both adore…my wife…my Sarah Selena Lacklan…”
“…mines…mines, mines, MINES…”
“We opened up our home and our hearts to you! We made you a part of our family, and as for me…I not only shared with you the most intimate parts of who I am, I also asked you to be a part in planning that very day that Sarah and I chose to make our union official. You were the one person that I picked above all others to see that the most important day of my life was just as magical as every young girl who dreams of one day getting married hopes it will be. You helped to bear the ring that symbolized that unbreakable bond between Sarah and I…”
“…unbreakable bonds Milisandre…you were there to see what it meant to the two of us…”
“So, now…are you STILL confused as to why I am so incredibly pissed off at you for not realizing what that means? Are you STILL confused as to why I feel like you, out of ALL the people in the world have wounded me far deeper than I thought possible? You know my heart just as well as my own wife! You know what I want as much as anyone one else on the planet…save one! Yet, you have the nerve to put yourself between that?!”
“Your words to me echo in my ears; telling me that you’d never hurt me and that you’d never stand in my way, and yet your actions don’t show it! You can’t even stick to your own word when you give it to me! You had ONE way to make things between us right! You told me that you were going to make it right…and I waited…”
“…and I waited…”
“…and I waited…”
“…AND I WAITED…”
“Milisandre…I am STILL waiting for you to do the right thing by me! I am STILL waiting for you to show me that you are truly the friend that you made yourself out to be to me and my wife! I am STILL waiting for you to be something other than a backstabbing, claim jumping, LIAR!”
“I am done waiting and I am done giving you passes. Tomorrow you have one last chance to at least come clean to the person that means the most to the two of us…under her roof no less. You have the chance to make amends in that regard…but that will not save you when we face each other at Night of Glory. I owe you for all the long months that you lived under my roof, all the long months that you ate from my table, and all the long months that you coveted what was mines! I owe you for saying that you are one thing…and then being another.”
“…you say that you are the woman who deserves to be Breakout Champion…”
“Well, yeah…you blazed a trail to make that claim, up until after the Queen of the Ring. Since then, you haven’t been anything that you claimed to be. You have lost time and time again, all while still beating your chest and telling anyone who will listen that YOU are the next Breakout Champion! You are great at saying that you are one thing and being another, just like your recent track record points out!”
“Night of Glory isn’t going to be any different Milisandre. It will just be another night that you walk into the lives of people who you lie to and tell them you are THIS…and at the end of the night, you only prove to the masses that you are only something else entirely. You aren’t any kind of friend to me, and on the 27th of this month, you aren’t going to leave the pay-per-view as any kind of champion either!”
“…I owe you pain…and I am going to make good on that, believe what I tell you…”
“None of the women in that ladder match deserve to leave with that title around their waist. They might all think that they have a claim to it….they may all think that they have some kind of momentum or some kind of angle that makes them the ONE who will climb over the rest and snatch down that symbol of excellence that proves it to the world. Well, ladders are tall for a reason, and that is so we can reach great heights…and to reach great heights, one must risk a great fall. In the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum three women are going to take a very great fall as they watch me climb a ladder and take what belongs to me, by right!”
“I am not going to stand by as Nova waxes and wanes about what it is that she intends to do and why she intends to do it!”
“I am not going to let Maria scheme and plot to take me down for imaginary wrongs that she thinks I did to her to turn her into a caricature of who she use to be!”
“I am not going to let Etsuko continue to be content to just be nothing more than a pretty coat rack from which to drape a title belt!”
“I am not going to be blinded by Milisandre and her claims to be a friend and a championship contender when in fact she is neither!”
“I have never walked into a match with my head held higher than I intend to do at Night of Glory IV when I have an opportunity to do something that I have never ever done in this business, and that is show the world who I am and what I am capable of doing! I have never walked into an arena and stepped through the ropes knowing that when that bell sounds to start the match, when it rings for a second time, the ending was never in question, not only for myself, but for the women that find themselves standing across from me!”
“I AM your next Breakout Champion…not because I say so…but because there is no one in that match who can stop it from happening…”
THE DARK...
November 7, 2017
Today was the day that Sarah had 'the talk' with Milisandre and the air was finally cleared. Milisandre would tell Sarah that she had been in love with her from the start, living under her roof as she hid that love...not unlike Jacob Hargrove had done only months earlier. That betrayal had nearly led to tragedy in Cincinnati...a place that we would have to stop off at for Sarah to provide one more statement to the police regarding that son of a bitch!
We got there early and while I wanted to go with her, she insisted that I stay. She'd endure the pain of what he had attempted to do to her one last time, and she didn't want me sullied by it...not again. She'd give her statement and head off to Lacklanland alone to talk to Milisandre. As soon as that business was done, she'd be right back and we would finally put everything behind us. We would train together and focus on our upcoming title opportunities. She told me, in no uncertain terms...
"We must be ready to fight Beloved! We must be ready to fight and to win! Never give up...never stop fighting!"
Off she went while I stayed behind and I trained...I trained and I focused on the words that she said to me. I'd have to fight! I'd have to be ready to fight and to win!
I'd have to be ready for Nova Sinclair, the woman who had beaten Milisandre...and the woman who had found a way to beat the Chaos Champion, my friend Roxy Cotton. Nova was on a tear and though she hadn't had her eyes on the Breakout Title, she now had the opportunity at it. I would have to be ready for her! Ready to fight and win!
I prepared for Maria Spencer...even harder. She had come at me at LAW 72 with fury and anger, and in the end, she had nearly found a way to beat me. Yes, she had learned her underhanded tactics from me, but the truth was that I should have seen it coming and been ready for it. I had narrowly escaped her, but I couldn't sleep on her again, or I would be sleepin' wit th fishes!
Finally, there was Milisandre Crowthorne, my former best friend...turned bitter enemy over her love for what was mines! I would train for her the hardest of all! Not only because I saw her as the biggest threat, but because she had hurt me in ways that Nova and Maria would never be able to. She had ripped out my heart and stomped on it! I was going to return the favor!
Sweat poured off me like a river as I focused on the task at hand. I nearly missed the chime of my phone. I reached over and grabbed it and rolled my eyes as I saw who it was from...fucking Milisandre! "...what does this bitch want..." I swore under my breath...
...terrified...
"Mrs. Lacklan? We need you to come with us."
I turned and saw a pair of uniformed police officers standing there. I didn't remember seeing them enter the gym, but there they were and I knew that they bore ill tidings. I must have been out of my head...that or I just responded as I texted Milisandre back...I was a complete wreck...
The officers were probably ready to throw me in the trunk as kept asking them if they knew anything about my wife. Had they captured Jacob. Did they know that he was after Sarah? They didn't answer my questions, just told me that I would be meeting a Detective soon. In the end, I didn't need the Detective to tell me anything.
My worst fears were confirmed...and now I was inconsolable...
Hours passed and it felt like days. They kept asking me questions...and I was wondering if I was a suspect. They wouldn't tell me anything at all...only that they were still looking. They told me that this situation was dangerous and I would have to stay in custody until this incident was resolved. I was bawling and I was ready to run screaming out that door, police be damned! My Baby was out there, with some fucking rapist asshole with the world's worst Justin Bieber hairdo! He had to be found...he had to be stopped before something horrible happened...
...it was too late...something horrible happened...
______________________________
When I came to, I was completely numb as the police officers escorted me to the hospital. I hadn’t remembered anything after they said…whatever it was that they said...what they kept on saying. It was a jumble of words now, they hardly made sense…
“...we found him...”
“...there was a chase...”
“...bad accident...”
“...your wife was injured...”
The lump in my throat threatened to choke me, my eyes blurred with tears, and I felt like I was suffocating. I stared at the officer’s mouth as he spoke, but it took a moment for the words to register...
“...Jacob Hargrove escaped, he kidnapped Mrs. Lacklan. He stole a car and there was a police chase...”
He’d taken her again! How had he escaped? How had they allowed this to fucking happen?! He was locked up tight! The danger was over for us…we had escaped him together…hadn’t we?
“...the car flipped and Jacob Hargrove and your wife were injured. Mrs. Lacklan is severely injured and Jacob Hargrove is...”
“SARAH!”
I didn’t give a damn about Jacob, in fact, I never wanted to hear his name again! He had caused us enough pain and I wanted him put out of our misery! I hoped he was dead…I prayed for it, even though that wasn’t my faith. Sarah believed in God and angels and miracles. If you lived your life the right way and you prayed really REALLY hard, HE would hear you. I wanted HIM to hear me, and I wanted him to strike Jacob Hargrove dead...FUCKING DEAD!
_________________________
They escorted me to the medical center. I looked like death, warmed over. I had been in protective custody for hours. As soon as they knew to forgo any silly waiting games after Jacob escaped and my wife disappeared. I was grateful, but my thoughts were not for myself...never for myself. Only my wife...only my Selena...only for my Baby.
"I NEED TO SEE HER! I HAVE TO SEE HER RIGHT NOW! I DEMAND TO SEE MY WIFE!"
As soon as we entered the hospital, I made such a scene, I was nearly sedated. I ranted, I raved, I screamed, and I cried. Finally, a doctor came over to see me. He held me by my shoulders, forced me to calm down and he told me how she was doing. She had been injured when the car flipped over. She hadn't been in a seatbelt and she'd been thrown around...violently. He said that she was lapsing in and out of consciousness. It was probably a result of some injury she'd sustained, but they'd have to operate. I could only see her for a few moments while they prepped the room for surgery.
He led me to the tiny space that was surrounded by curtains. The place smelled like copper and bleach. When I saw her, I know I cried out, but I didn’t hear it...my heart was thundering too hard in my ears. I ran to her side, where she was lying in the bed with lines and hoses crisscrossing her body. She looked fine...there was a small cut over her left eye...some bruises here and there on her ghostly pale skin. Nothing more…
“...her injuries are internal...”
I ignored the doctor...the nurse...whoever it was who had spoken. They didn't exist for me...not anymore...
I took her hand in mines, kissing it and babbling nonsensically as I told her how much I loved her, told her she’d be okay...but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was wrong, that I’d never speak with her again. Why did I feel that way? It made the bile rise up in the back of my throat, it disgusted me…until she spoke...
“...Beloved...I don’t w-want to leave you...”
I felt her hand squeeze mines, her eyes filled with tears, focused on me...seeing me, seeing me so clearly. She was awake! She was with me…but…for how long?! I couldn't say...I couldn't tell...I was desperate.
“DON’T LEAVE!”
Again her hand squeezed mines. I felt the strength in them…but…I felt the strength ebbing. I squeezed her hand back, hoping to lend her some of my own strength. What little I had left was hers for the taking. When she spoke again, I hung on her every word.
“...I have to see Mils, I...I think she’s going to tell me…she’s in love with you...”
I almost laughed. After all that had happened and all that we said, she had gotten it all wrong. She thought that it was about me. I grew sullen as I realized that she was delirious. She had no idea where she was or what she was saying. That was fine...she was with me, and she was still speaking…
“She’s...she’s so a-awkward. Don’t be cross with her, I understand, many love mines…m-many love my Dark Goddess, but you are mines.”
Her hand went slack as her eyes unfocused, nearly slipping from my grasp. I stood there in a panic, were those her last words to me?
“Baby? BABY!”
Her eyes fluttered, they were wide with panic for a moment. I could tell she was reliving a moment of fear, unsure of where she was. She gripped my hand and when I squeezed it back, she exhaled and seemed to grow calm.
“...we have to fight Beloved...promise me you’ll fight, promise me you’ll never stop...”
“Baby?” I didn’t care about fighting…I didn’t care about titles…I didn’t care about anything by my best friend, my wife, my…everything! I was breaking into pieces, shattered to my core. “Don’t leave!”
“...never...” she took in a breath, “I’ll follow you...”
She fell silent, her eyes unfocused, her hand light in mines. She stared off into the cold nothingness…
“...into the dark...” I finished, her favorite phrase of devotion to me.
They came and they took her away...and I was all alone again…alone in the dark…
______________________________
I called Sarah’s friends…the other Cool Kids…Angie, Sativa, Roxy, and I told them the news. They needed to hear it from me, not just from the hate and the lies that were being spewed all over the news and from those who hated us on social media.
I called Kitty Galore, a friend that Sarah adored and loved and she came to us.
I set aside my jealousy and my anger and I called Milisandre…and I asked her to come. I didn’t know why I had done it, other than the fact that she loved Sarah as much as I did and it only seemed right that she be here too. The tension between us melted away in the face of the reality that the woman we both loved could be lost to us forever.
We held each other…as friends once again…our feud forgotten…at least for the moment…
Hours later they said that the surgery was a success. I wasn't going to lose her...but I could tell by the looks on their faces that there was more to be said...much more. When they spoke, it came to me like bits and pieces...I saw their lips moving and the words falling out, but they made no sense, or maybe I just didn't want to hear them...
"...it's some kind of catatonia..."
"...an unresponsive stupor..."
"...possibly drug related..."
"...can't be sure..."
My Baby, my Selena, my Firestarter, my wife...so strong and proud, fierce and infuriating was rendered silent, barely mobile, and they didn't know why...or exactly what it was. Jacob Hargrove was in the same state. He had forced her to ingest something...and he himself had taken it as well. He couldn't have her in all her glory, so he found a way to diminish her light...the same light that I would one day follow into the dark...
...soon...
...but not yet...not quite yet...
...I still had to fight...until I joined her again...