Post by Nova Sinclair on Nov 18, 2017 19:42:55 GMT -5
November 5th- After LAW 72
CAMERA: ON
Man, that felt good. Like, really good. Aside from Kate Steele getting involved in as little way possible as she could, I still beat Roxy Cotton. It might not have been under the circumstances I had hoped it would, but I think a huge part of me knew that no matter how I would have beaten Roxy, she would have found any excuse she could have to underscore the whole thing. And regardless of Kate getting involved, Roxy still allowed herself to get distracted instead of choosing to ignore Kate like she should have.
Not my problem.
Anyway, I have some celebrating to do. And not alone, either. I asked Declan to be here tonight to see my match against Roxy, and he didn’t even hesitate in agreeing to it. I’m back in my locker room, gathering my things- including my shattered laptop. I’ll have to find a way to explain that one, but there is no use in lying about it. I let Roxy get to me, but only because she went too far. She completely trashed my father’s memory, trying to use it against me, and I let it get the best of me in the moment.
But that is all done and over with. Roxy Cotton is no longer on my radar, and she won’t be for the foreseeable future. I look around the locker room, making sure I have everything before I head towards the door. Before I walk out, I send Declan a quick text message, letting him know I am on my way out to the car before I put my phone back in my pocket and open the door. I have my head down so I’m not even paying attention when I’m heading out the door, when I bump into someone.
“Oh! I’m so sorr--”
When I lift my head and look up, I’m suddenly frozen in place as I realize who I bumped into. It’s Preston. I don’t know what he is doing here, or even how he got backstage, but I take a step back, never once returning the smile he is giving me.
“P-Preston...What are you doing here? H-how did you get backstage?”
“I wanted to be here to see your match against that Roxy chick. It wasn’t hard to get backstage either, but why does it matter? Why do you look scared of me?”
I glance down the hallway in both directions, but to my horror there is no one around. Of course not. Why would there be? I turn my attention back to Preston, doing my best not to look scared, and I fold my arms across my chest, now giving him a stern look.
“I just wasn’t expecting to see you here. I thought I’ve made myself perfectly clear that I don’t need you in my life anymore. I don’t need your support in or outside of my wrestling career, Preston. Go home.”
He laughs and I try to walk past him to head towards the parking lot, but he puts a hand up on the frame of the door, blocking my path. My phone goes off in my pocket, alerting me to a text message and I know it’s from Declan. I glare up at Preston, the look in my eyes telling him enough that he better let me past.
“Why you in such a hurry, Nova? I just want to congratulate you. You did amazing out there tonight. I can see now how much all of this means to you.”
“Thank you. Now you’ve congratulated me so you can move your arm and let me past, because I have nothing more to say to you. Why can’t you get the picture, Preston?”
My text message alert goes off again, and Preston glances down towards my pocket before looking me directly in my eyes, his expression going sour.
“Is that your new fuck buddy?”
His tone is cold, almost dangerous. It’s a tone I’m not used to coming from him, but I try my best not to let myself be intimidated.
“That is none of your business, Preston. I am none of your business anymore.”
“It is, isn’t it? That’s why you’re in such a hurry? To go see him? Have a little quickie in the car or something?”
I roll my eyes at him and shake my head with a laugh.
“Again, that’s none of your business. My relationship with Declan is none of your business, and I suggest you back off and finally start to realize that. There is no future for us, Preston. And this little game you’re playing is only cementing that in stone even further.”
Again, my phone goes off. I am sure Declan is starting to worry by now, and a part of me is hoping he is, and that he comes storming into the arena to find me. I know it wouldn’t end well for Preston, but at this point, I don’t even care. Preston is not the man I thought he was, and he is proving it more and more.
“What do you see in that guy, Nova? Have you turned into a gold-digging slut all of a sudden? I mean, it couldn’t be that because your father left you a nice little inheritance so you don’t exactly need any money. So, what is it with this Declan guy?”
I really wish looks could kill, because he would have dropped dead at gold-digging slut, but to my disappointment, he’s still breathing before me.
“Is there a reason you’re doing all of this here, Preston? People I work with are walking around backstage, and I really have no desire to have any of them witness this shit from you. And, trust me when I say this, but Declan has proven to be one hundred times the man I thought you were. In every way possible. If you get my drift.”
He rolls his eyes and then scowls at me, still blocking my way. I’m ready to break his arm if he doesn’t move it soon.
“So he is just a fuck buddy to you, then. Good to know. I never really pegged you as that type, but I guess that means I don’t really know you as well as I thought I did.”
“Obviously, and Declan is NOT just a fuck buddy, Preston. But, for the thousandth time...that is NONE of your business. Now move your arm before I move it for you. And trust me when I say that it would be quite painful for you.”
He laughs, inching closer to me all while keeping his hand on the door frame.
“You might be some hot shot wrestler now, Nova, but do you really think you could do anything to hurt me or overpower me in anyway? I don’t think--”
He’s quickly cut off as the exit down the hall bursts open. We both look down towards the door and to my relief, Declan is walking inside. He stops dead in his tracks, and his eyes fall directly on Preston. Preston immediately drops his hand, as he and Declan engage in a heated staredown. Declan is about to rush to my side, but I hold my hand up, signalling to him that I’m fine, but he keeps his eye on the situation the entire time. I look back to Preston with a grin.
“Whether or not you believe it, Preston, I can assure you, I could. But, Declan over there…”
I point to him and he’s still glaring heatedly at Preston, and Preston looks back to me.
“He could, and would, do so much worse. So, don’t push your luck.”
“Seriously, Nova? After everything we went through, you’re just going to up and throw it all away for that guy? And you’re really sick him on me?”
I smile a wicked smile as I finally step past Preston, and towards Declan. I turn and look at Preston one last time.
“In a heartbeat…”
And with that I turn and starting heading down the hall towards Declan. I can feel Preston’s eyes on me the entire time, but that’s good. I want him to watch. I want him to see me walking into the arms of another man. I want him to get the full picture and realize, once and for all, that we are done. And that our past is just that. The past. As I walk within just a few inches of Declan, he holds his hand out to me, and then pulls me in close before he kisses me hard. I kiss him back just as hard, knowing full well that Preston is still watching and after several long moments, we finally break the kiss, turn and head out of the arena and to Declan’s waiting car.
Hopefully that was proof enough for Preston…
Days later…
CAMERA: OFF
A couple of days after that confrontation with Preston after LAW 72, I find myself inside the gym of Declan’s lavish new mansion in California. It was also after that confrontation that I made the decision to take Declan up on his offer to move in with him. To some that may seem early and a bit of a rash decision, but I don’t regret it. Not one bit.
My upcoming match for the LAW Breakout Championship is a couple of weeks away, but as it is my first opportunity to win a title, the sooner I start my training, the better. I’m already dressed in my training gear, and my hair is pulled back, as I look around the gym and all the equipment.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a professional gym and seen this much equipment. Why am I still surprised at just how much stuff you have?”
“Well, there's some stuff here that's not...technically...available to the public just yet. I take my training very seriously.”
I turn and grin at him. As overwhelming as this all is, I am starting to get used to it all...including Declan.
“That is quite apparent. So...where do we start?”
“We'll be upping your cardio heavily in the next few days, long running, and maybe a little altitude training. Strategically, the best thing to do would be to avoid the chaos until everybody else destroys each other. This way, you'll last longer than they do.”
I nod, trying to keep a serious look on my face as I look forward to having Declan teach me a few things. Not that he hasn’t already, but I mean as far as wrestling is concerned.
“That makes sense. But this is a ladder match. Everyone is going to be trying to make a beeline for the ladders to get the title. Though if I’m honest, I’m more worried about getting my hands on little miss Mafia Princess, Maria.”
“That's just it. If you can let everyone else kill each other with ladders, maybe get some hits in on Toni Soprano over there....then you have a clear path.”
I laugh and scratch my head. I should understand what he is trying to teach me, but I’m still left a little confused.
“I get what you’re saying but wouldn’t that make me look like I’m afraid or something? I’m really not. I want to prove I have what it takes. That I can hack it in matches like this. Besides, I’m a high flyer. Taking risks and being part of the chaos comes with the territory.”
“More tenured wrestlers than you have thought that. They're in wheelchairs now.”
“But I bet none of them regret a second of any of it. I know I could use to add to my skill set and such, but this is what I've done from the beginning. There's just a thrill to it all.”
“You can take care of your thrills with me, angel. As for the ring...it doesn't matter what others think. Just what you produce. In five years, are people going to remember a title reign or you beating people up more?”
I grin sheepishly at him. He has a point. To everything.
“Ok first, those are very different thrills, Declan. Second, people are going to remember what they want to remember, honestly.”
“Champions are remembered forever. Nobody can take you off a title history. But, in any case, let's look right now at the first of two moves I wish to show you.”
“Ready whenever you are.”
He walks with me to his tape library, a deeply extensive collection of wrestling lore. We sit together in a well-worn armchair, as he turns on a television to show me the first move.
“A little overly flippy with the somersault, but very pretty.”
I stare at the television for a few moments, studying the move. I nod and give it an approving smile.
“I wouldn’t say overly flippy, but I definitely like it. I could see myself using it.”
He kisses my neck, right beside my collarbone.
“We'll practice it over the next few days. The other one, we can't watch...it's of my own invention, and you're the only one that will ever know it.”
I let myself smile again, not only enjoying the kiss on the neck and wishing he would do it again, but also the little bit of information I just found out.
“Oh really? And what makes me so special to receive that honor?”
“You mean a lot to me. I wanted it to be my special gift to you. My trainer, Robbie Priest, used a move called the Painkiller. It was a reverse Fujiwara Armbar that could just about rip a man's arm off. When our training concluded, he taught me a move only I would ever know. The Painkiller 2.0. This was, in a sense, an inverted version of what he did, and it was damn near unbreakable. Thus, to show you how much you mean to me, I am teaching you the next version, a move of my own invention, the Painkiller 3.0.”
We walk out to an open expanse, similar to a Jiu-Jitsu dojo, and he demonstrates the move on a dummy, showing me the mechanics and grip. I study every second of it, but I bite at my bottom lip, as I think about something.
“You know, I wasn't really expecting you to tell me the whole story about the move. Showing it to me and teaching it to me is one thing, but explaining its importance? It kind of took me by surprise.”
Declan rolls to his stomach, looking directly at me. I feel myself falling for him more and more, but I try to keep a serious look on my face for the moment.
“I created it to be something safer for you to do...and also to show you just how much you mean to me.”
I smile again, showing just how much I enjoy hearing him say those words. But my smile fades a few moments later and I turns serious once again as I look at him.
“I can see that, and it’s making me realize that I’m not exactly returning the favor by sharing anything with you.”
“You don’t need to do that. I’d love you to share with me, but do it when you’re comfortable.”
“I do need to do it, Declan. And I think I need to start now, considering everything that is going on now with Preston. I think there are some things you need to know.”
Declan is quiet, pensive. Unlike his usual self. I prepare my thoughts in my head, praying he’ll understand what I’m about to tell him.
“Okay.”
I close my eyes for a brief moment, taking in a deep breath before opening them again. I can’t look directly at Declan. Not yet.
“I met Preston when I was fourteen after my dad died. He wasn’t exactly on a good path, and after my dad died, I don’t think I would have been either. But we grew close and kind of leaned on each other.”
I turn and glance to Declan, and he’s giving me his full attention, letting me speak. I take in deep breath and just let it out.
“When I was fifteen I...I got pregnant.”
Declan sighs. It’s as if he’s not shocked, but I know he’s putting the pieces together.
“I freaked out. I wasn't ready, and I knew he wasn't either. I wanted to end the pregnancy, and I thought he would feel the same way I did, but he didn't. I let him guilt me into not getting the abortion.”
“You kept it?”
I go silent for a moment before looking to him again, my face full of so many different emotions, as I reveal the next part of the story to him.
“Well, I went to term with the pregnancy, but…”
“Oh. God, I shouldn’t have even…”
I shake her head, taking his hand in mine. I don’t want him to feel guilty. Not one bit.
“No, it's okay. I'm...I'm not even really upset about it. I wasn't ready to have a baby, and honestly, I'm never going to be ready. Preston just has this notion that I haven't grieved. He had a hard time understanding why one day, the baby was fine and kicking and the next...he wasn't.”
I shake my head, confused about it myself, even to this day. But, I have never let it consume me.
“The doctor said these things happen and they aren't always explainable, but I'm fine. I really am. I guess some people just think that makes me a bad person to think like that. To not be upset that my baby died.”
“I heard your mom talk about him, before we got together...she thinks that too, doesn’t she?”
“In a way I think so. She's always outwardly supportive of me, but inside? I know she thinks different.”
“You think she wouldn’t approve of me?”
I laughs and squeezes his hand. Of course he would ask that next.
“At first, probably not. But she didn’t approve of Preston, either. Besides, I don’t need her approval on who I am or am not seeing. Just like she clearly doesn’t need mine.”
“So, that’s true?”
“If you mean her and my so called friend, Jocelyn.”
I shudders and then nods, reluctant to admit the hard truth.
“Then, yes. Unfortunately, that is true.”
“Why does it bother you? It’s just sex. If your mom’s happy, and your friend’s happy...why does it matter? It’s not like you’re still sixteen and in school.”
“It's just...weird! I don't know. I can't even really explain it right now.”
“You want my advice on it?”
I look him in his eyes and nod. He seems to have the best advice, so it couldn’t hurt.
“Sure. Why not.”
“Let it chill. Don’t talk to them, don’t even think about it, for a few weeks. We’ll fly your mom out for Thanksgiving. Maybe Jocelyn too. And we’ll talk like adults, and hash this out. Over my excellent turkey. Like....my turkey could viably bring world peace.”
I manage to let out a laugh before I lean in and give him a quick kiss. I really do love kissing him.
“Thanks for the advice, and the offer. I'll have to think about that.”
“Just...my parents sucked. Abusive alcoholics who are better off dead. You have one parent still, who seems to care, in her way. Maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt. Preston, in no uncertain terms, will never see you again. Ever. He gets into the same state, I’ll have him picked up, and taken away forever.”
“I'll worry about my mother later. I just wanted you to know about the stuff with Preston to understand why he's reacting the way he is. A part of the reason I broke up with him was because he was always talking about our future together and how much he couldn't wait for us to have kids…”
“I want us to stay together for good. We...actually can’t, have kids. Even if we wanted to.”
I turn my head and look at him, arching an eyebrow. I’m pretty sure I know what he means, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions or assume anything.
“Meaning?”
“I had a vasectomy when I was eighteen.”
“Eighteen? Wow. What happened? I mean, that just seems kind of young. But, it doesn't bother me, because I've never seen myself wanting kids anyway.”
“Never wanted kids. I’m not a kids person...not enough patience.”
I grin and let out a laugh. I found that last little bit hard to believe, because he’s been very patient with me.
“I don't know where mine stemmed from. I just never saw myself as being a mother. Being forced to go through that pregnancy was bad enough. And that is why I turned to wrestling. To lose the extra weight and to let off some steam.”
“Well...you definitely look magnificent…”
“Yes, well luckily you don't need to see me looking otherwise.”
“I dunno, I think, as bad as I am...it wouldn’t have stopped me.”
I arch an eyebrow again.
“As bad as you are?”
“As much as I want to have sex with you every waking minute…”
I flash him a smile again, amused but not surprised.
“I wouldn't say that is less you being bad, but more a typical male.”
“Far from typical…”
He grins, pinning my wrists to the mat.
“What's this? Another move you want to teach me?”
“Nah, I think you’ve gotten very familiar with this one…”
He kisses me deeply as we take a temporary break from our training session and engage in our next favorite activity. Not that I’m complaining at all…
“Things don’t always go the way we think they will, do they? You can form a plan for yourself, only for life to have a completely different plan of its own for you. Sometimes life has better plans for us, and other times, it throws a wrench at us, smacking us right in the head and damn near knocking us unconcious.
Most of what is going on in my life right now are things I never would have planned for myself. Aside from my wrestling career and breaking things off with Preston, everything else has been events that life has thrown at me. And I’m doing my best to take all of the bad in stride, but also to enjoy the great things that have come my way over the past few months.
Declan is, perhaps, the biggest surprise that life brought my way. I didn’t go out seeking him. I wasn’t actively looking for someone to replace Preston, or someone to be with, but I guess life thought different. And I couldn’t be more thankful. Our situation isn’t exactly what most would consider normal, but so what? I enjoy being with him, and I enjoy everything he is showing me that life has to offer. Whereever it takes me next has yet to be seen, but I’m looking forward to every second of it.
And then there is my status in LAW. I’m only going into my fifth match in LAW, and it just so happens that I’m part of the Ladder Match for the Breakout Championship. I don’t know how it happened. I wasn’t expecting this, especially not so soon. I was hoping my first big ppv match would give me a bit of a challenge, but I never in a million years expected this. I didn’t even ask for this, but someone thought high enough of me to give me this opportunity, right?
It’s not going to be easy. It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s a ladder match with five women, each wanting to be the one to grab that belt from high above the ring. And not only that, but considering four out of the five each have a big problem with one another...well, that’s enough evidence to easily put this in contention for match of the night, wouldn’t you agree?
Life sure has had a way of showing me that I’m meant for great things. It’s shown me not to hold myself back, at all, because it will always have other plans for me. So the days of making plans for myself are over. The days of living life one day at a time and see what each day brings are in full swing, because who knows what it could bring next.
Maybe a nice shiny title around my waist…
Most of the last week and a half has been spent training and preparing for my match at Night of Glory. So it should come as no surprise that I once again find myself in my workout gear, walking down a long hallway, in Declan’s new San Clemente, California home. Suddenly, I hear a loud bang coming from the workout room. I run over to check the cause of the crash, and see Declan, in workout gear and a high altitude mask, crashed in front of the treadmill, his skin a scary shade of blue.
“Oh my God!”
I rush over to Declan, crouching down to check on him. I turn to the treadmill, and see that he’s already clocked four miles. He just manages to wheeze out…
"I’m....I’m fine.”
I shakes my head, staring at him with concern. Of course he would say he’s fine, but judging by his current state, I think otherwise.
"You absolutely do not look fine, Declan.”
I somehow manage to help him sit up, still worried.
"What happened??”
"Just working out...I’ve another mile to go, then bench…”
"Yeah, I don’t think so. You ran four miles already and apparently you couldn’t handle that much.”
I sit down next to him, making sure he’s ok. I didn’t think I’d ever have to be the one to worry about him, but here I am.
"Care to explain why you’re pushing yourself so hard today?”
"I always push myself this hard. I just had to notch off the oxygen…”
My jaw drops open. He can’t possibly be serious. And why am I still talking to him while he has that mask on?
”Notch off the oxygen? Why? And just working out doesn’t explain how you ended up on the floor.”
With a little difficulty, he finally pulls off the mask, sucking in big breaths.
"I train super-high altitude for stamina. So my brain and body can operate on very little oxygen. So I can go harder for longer than anyone else.”
"That just seems a bit extreme to me. You could have seriously hurt yourself just now.”
Declan’s voice is hard, bitter.
"So?”
I’m taken by surprise at his tone, so naturally I’m going to question him on it.
"Where is all of this suddenly coming from?”
"Nova, I love you. I love Amy, I love Kendra, and I love you. But unless I am the best...better conditioned, better built, better trained...than any other wrestler, I can’t love myself. If I can’t be the best...than what’s the point of being at all?”
I stare at him, even more surprised, and think for a few seconds before I lean in and kiss him. When I back away I look into his eyes.
"Well..you’re the best to me. Regardless of how hard you push yourself. And stop saying things like that.”
"Nova...this was always my life. If I was studying for a test in school, I’d function on caffeine pills for three days before, then skip the next two. If it was yachting, I’d spend weeks on my boat, I’d even sleep in it. Anything less was laziness.”
"I get that, and I understand. I just don’t want you to say things like what’s the point of being at all, if you’re not the best. You’re amazing, and I’m thankful to have you in my life now.”
"I don’t expect you to. You’re so goddamn perfect. I just...if I don’t do this, if I’m not the best...what am I?”
I laugh and shake my head.
"I am far from perfect, Declan.”
"You are. And I know you’re going to win that ladder match. Because just being you, you’re the best. You have more heart and soul and backbone than all of them combined.”
I smile and kiss him again. Once again I think quietly to myself about how much I really enjoy doing that.
"Thank you. For everything. For your confidence in me and just being so..amazing.”
I shrug and then take in a deep breath.
"But even if I don’t win, it’s not going to be a big deal to me. I have my work cut out for me, and I think you’re about the only one who thinks I even stand a chance, but that’s ok.”
"Then fuck them. The only person who needs to know you can win isn’t me. It’s you. Kenzi Grey is great. Believe me, that I know that. I knew of her long before you stepped foot in a ring. Millisandre Crowthorne is no fucking joke. She didn’t get here by accident. I watched her and I saw so much raw talent, it’s almost obscene. Mitsuzaka is a ringer. Anyone trained in Japan has a level of focus and dedication that most wrestlers on this continent don’t know exists. She’s got a scary amount of natural talent to combine with that, too. And Maria Salvatore, despite being a walking Italian stereotype and every mobster joke rolled into one, isn’t here because she beat a bunch of fluffy bunny rabbits. Yet, through all that...I believe in you. I know that you can. And it’s about time you realised it, too.”
I smile more than I think I have in a while.
"It’s not that I don’t realize I can do it. But maybe...I don’t know. Maybe a part of me doesn’t want to win this one. Not yet, anyway.”
"Take it from someone who’s raised a few world titles. Gold tastes better than revenge.”
"Oh trust me, I want to win a title eventually. But so soon? I’ve seen people breakout and win titles early on, only for everything to just crash not long after. Or I’ve seen people just be so hungry for Gold and nothing else.”
"Gold is the material upon which legacies are built.”
I smile and nod.
"True. But what about the people who can win gold over and over, by luck or otherwise, but can’t even successfully defend it?”
"You’ll defend it all right. But first thing’s first.”
"First I have to get through four other women to win it. One is the champion, and the other three are hungrier for it than I am.”
I laugh and shake my head.
"I imagine once I step into the ring at Night of Glory that my tune will change and that I’ll start to want it a bit more.”
"Think that’ll be a bit late, lamb…”
"Maybe. Maybe not.”
I grin, but something else hits me. Something new, different.
"And did you just call me lamb?”
He looks down, obviously ready for me to be angry. I don’t know why, because he’s never given me any reason to be angry with him.
"Yeah…”
"Maybe I should get the reference, but I’m a bit slow today. So...why?”
"Not a reference. Just a term of endearment.”
"That’s a new one for me, but got it.”
I look around, realizing we are still sitting on the floor.
"Maybe we should get up off the floor now. I think you’ve had time to recover from your crash and burn…”
Declan reaches up and picks himself up on the treadmill. He is, thankfully, steadier than I thought he would be given the condition I thought he was in just a few minutes ago.
"Let’s go for a run.”
I follow suit and stand up right after him, dusting myself off.
”You can take a break for a little while, Declan. I won’t tell anybody.”
I grin and wink at him.
"You, however, cannot. C’mon, let’s get moving.”
"Yes, sir!”
I can’t help but pretend to be the obedient student as Declan has been my teacher, but my giggle that follows proves I was only joking.
"And if you must mother hen me in such a manner, I will consent to not running myself, but simply following you on a bicycle. Oh, but you’ll have to wear this...”
He strides over to a small closet, and pulls out a pink sweatsuit. I stare at it seriously for a moment.
"Really? That?”
I take the sweatsuit from him and let out another laugh.
"Here I thought you liked me better with less clothes on…”
" Generally. But if I’m going to make a reference to Punch-Out, I’m going all the way with it.”
"Whatever you say. At least it’s pink.”
I have no idea what the Punch-Out reference is, but simply shrug it off as I throw on the pink sweatsuit over my workout gear. Immediately after we head out of the mansion to go for our run, stepping up the next phase of my training. Slowly, but surely, I can see that Breakout Championship a little brighter in my future.
Early in the morning a few days later, I wake up before Declan. It’s earlier than I am used to being awake as the sun is only barely starting to rise. Once I’m out of bed I head into the bathroom and clean up just a bit. I throw my hair back in a ponytail and put on the pink sweatsuit once again, deciding to go for a run, this time without Declan. I need to find a way to become more confident in winning the Breakout Championship, so maybe a run will help me do just that.
Before I head outside, I pass by Declan’s bedroom, sneaking a peek inside. He’s still sleeping, so I make it a point to leave him a note in the kitchen so he doesn’t worry. I’m finally read a few minutes later and I head out the front door. At least I think it’s the front. This place is so large, it’s really hard to tell, but I’m getting more accustomed to it each day.
Once I step outside, I close my eyes and take in a slow deep breath, exhaling a few seconds later before I start to jog away from the house. I try to remember the path Declan and I took a few days ago, but even if I can’t remember, I’ll just wing it. I’ll find my way back eventually.
I jog for a few minutes, trying to warm up, and I slowly start to pick up the pace.
”I know you’re going to win that ladder match. Because just being you, you’re the best. You have more heart and soul and backbone than all of them combined.”
Declan’s words to me repeat over and over in my head. Before, I would try to convince myself that he was just being polite, trying to make me feel better. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it wasn’t that at all. He truly believes in me, despite only knowing me for a month or so. If he could believe in me so much after knowing me for such a short amount of time, why don’t I share the same confidence?
If there is one thing I know about myself, it’s that I’ve always believed in myself, no matter what. When the odds are stacked against me, I’ve always known I can overcome those odds and come out stronger...better. But I also don’t want to push that confidence to downright arrogance. I have never once wanted to come across as thinking I am better than anyone else, so how can I be confident I’m going to win this match, without it coming across as arrogance?
The thoughts continue to swirl through my mind the longer I run. I become less aware of my surroundings as I try to picture that Breakout Championship. More importantly, I try to envision myself at the top of the ladder, unclasping the title from high above the ring and being declared the new champion. I can do it. I know I can. I just…
My thoughts are suddenly stolen away as I stare further up ahead, coming closer to returning to the mansion. My heart races faster, out of fear, as I see Preston staring directly at me as I get closer to him. I quickly stop running and start to back away, but I can tell he is walking forward trying to come towards me. I look around, trying to find any way away from him and when I look back, he’s gone. I blink and stand frozen in place, wondering if I should continue forward, as it is my only way back home.
I continue forward cautiously, looking around just to be sure. Preston is nowhere to be seen, which confuses the hell out of me, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I must have been imagining things. I can’t let this happen. I can’t let the situation with Preston distract me from anything, because if I do, it will end up destroying me in the end.
I end up rushing back to the house...back to Declan. Back to comfort and safety.
“One match. One title. Five women and who knows how many ladders will be at our disposal. Anything can happen. Blood could be shed and bones could very well be broken as we all fight tooth and nail to be the one to walk out of NIght of Glory as the Breakout Champion. This was an opportunity I wasn’t expecting, but it is an opportunity that I am one hundred percent going to make the best of and take full advantage of.
It’s no secret that the Breakout Title has, perhaps, been the most sought after title in recent months. Ever since I first stepped foot in LAW, that’s the one title that I heard the most rumblings about. Whether it was from Kenzi Grey or Milisandre. Someone wanted it. Someone laid claim to it, despite not even being the champion. I will admit, before stepping foot into LAW, I couldn’t tell you who I would even guess deserved it more than anyone else, because I don’t know who had even earned it yet.
Kenzi has been around longer than Milisandre. That is fairly obvious, but does she deserve it more than Milisandre? I don’t know. I know before I defeated Milisandre, she was undefeated herself so I could understand why she was trying to put herself into contention for the title. But, what is the point of running around whining and crying about a title shot you’re not being given? What, in all honesty, does it get you in claiming you deserve a title shot over anyone else?
Maybe I am overthinking it. Maybe I’m not. All I know is that when I stepped foot in LAW, I made a promise to myself. I promised myself that I would NEVER run around demanding a title shot or trying to push the bosses into giving me something that maybe, just maybe, I hadn’t earned yet. I didn’t care how long it took or what I had to do. I knew eventually, I would get my shot.
And here I am. Going into my FIFTH match, and it’s for the Breakout Championship. Not bad, if you ask me. And never once did I go out and lay claim to it. It all came my way, under crazy circumstances I might add.
I had hoped my match at Night of Glory would just be a one-on-one grudge match. It’s no secret I’m still angry with Maria Salvatore- sorry, Spencer- for doing what she did in our tag team match against Kenzi and Milisandre weeks ago. If there is one person I KNOW doesn’t deserve that title, it’s her. And I’m going to prove it, even if it ends up costing me the title because Maria will NOT become the Breakout Champion.
And poor Etsuko. I don’t even know the woman, but because she is the champion, she’s become part of this whole clusterfuck simply by default. Do I expect her to fight to hold on to what only she can lay claim to right now? Absolutely. Do I think she stands a chance at retaining? Well...she has a one in five chance at accomplishing that, but I wish her the best of luck anyway. I wish Kenzi and Milisandre the best of luck, too. I have no ill will towards any of those three.
But Maria Spencer can eff off right back to Jersey Shore where she belongs. From the moment that bell rings, my sole focus will be on her and getting that bitch out of the picture, and I’ll let the other three tear each other to shreds while I’m handling Maria.
I have a strategy in my head. I’m mentally prepared and day by day, I’m getting more and more physically prepared. Will it be easy? No. Not by any means, but my eyes are on the prize and I know what I need to do to achieve it. I know what I WILL do to achieve it.
Sadly, I don’t think Etsuko, Kenzi, Mili and Maria are quite as prepared. And I don’t think they’re fully aware of what side of me they are going to see come Night of Glory. The clock is ticking. Eight days left. Eight days until the five of us step into that ring but only one will walk out as the champion.
And my future is looking a little brighter...A little shinier…
CAMERA: ON
Man, that felt good. Like, really good. Aside from Kate Steele getting involved in as little way possible as she could, I still beat Roxy Cotton. It might not have been under the circumstances I had hoped it would, but I think a huge part of me knew that no matter how I would have beaten Roxy, she would have found any excuse she could have to underscore the whole thing. And regardless of Kate getting involved, Roxy still allowed herself to get distracted instead of choosing to ignore Kate like she should have.
Not my problem.
Anyway, I have some celebrating to do. And not alone, either. I asked Declan to be here tonight to see my match against Roxy, and he didn’t even hesitate in agreeing to it. I’m back in my locker room, gathering my things- including my shattered laptop. I’ll have to find a way to explain that one, but there is no use in lying about it. I let Roxy get to me, but only because she went too far. She completely trashed my father’s memory, trying to use it against me, and I let it get the best of me in the moment.
But that is all done and over with. Roxy Cotton is no longer on my radar, and she won’t be for the foreseeable future. I look around the locker room, making sure I have everything before I head towards the door. Before I walk out, I send Declan a quick text message, letting him know I am on my way out to the car before I put my phone back in my pocket and open the door. I have my head down so I’m not even paying attention when I’m heading out the door, when I bump into someone.
“Oh! I’m so sorr--”
When I lift my head and look up, I’m suddenly frozen in place as I realize who I bumped into. It’s Preston. I don’t know what he is doing here, or even how he got backstage, but I take a step back, never once returning the smile he is giving me.
“P-Preston...What are you doing here? H-how did you get backstage?”
“I wanted to be here to see your match against that Roxy chick. It wasn’t hard to get backstage either, but why does it matter? Why do you look scared of me?”
I glance down the hallway in both directions, but to my horror there is no one around. Of course not. Why would there be? I turn my attention back to Preston, doing my best not to look scared, and I fold my arms across my chest, now giving him a stern look.
“I just wasn’t expecting to see you here. I thought I’ve made myself perfectly clear that I don’t need you in my life anymore. I don’t need your support in or outside of my wrestling career, Preston. Go home.”
He laughs and I try to walk past him to head towards the parking lot, but he puts a hand up on the frame of the door, blocking my path. My phone goes off in my pocket, alerting me to a text message and I know it’s from Declan. I glare up at Preston, the look in my eyes telling him enough that he better let me past.
“Why you in such a hurry, Nova? I just want to congratulate you. You did amazing out there tonight. I can see now how much all of this means to you.”
“Thank you. Now you’ve congratulated me so you can move your arm and let me past, because I have nothing more to say to you. Why can’t you get the picture, Preston?”
My text message alert goes off again, and Preston glances down towards my pocket before looking me directly in my eyes, his expression going sour.
“Is that your new fuck buddy?”
His tone is cold, almost dangerous. It’s a tone I’m not used to coming from him, but I try my best not to let myself be intimidated.
“That is none of your business, Preston. I am none of your business anymore.”
“It is, isn’t it? That’s why you’re in such a hurry? To go see him? Have a little quickie in the car or something?”
I roll my eyes at him and shake my head with a laugh.
“Again, that’s none of your business. My relationship with Declan is none of your business, and I suggest you back off and finally start to realize that. There is no future for us, Preston. And this little game you’re playing is only cementing that in stone even further.”
Again, my phone goes off. I am sure Declan is starting to worry by now, and a part of me is hoping he is, and that he comes storming into the arena to find me. I know it wouldn’t end well for Preston, but at this point, I don’t even care. Preston is not the man I thought he was, and he is proving it more and more.
“What do you see in that guy, Nova? Have you turned into a gold-digging slut all of a sudden? I mean, it couldn’t be that because your father left you a nice little inheritance so you don’t exactly need any money. So, what is it with this Declan guy?”
I really wish looks could kill, because he would have dropped dead at gold-digging slut, but to my disappointment, he’s still breathing before me.
“Is there a reason you’re doing all of this here, Preston? People I work with are walking around backstage, and I really have no desire to have any of them witness this shit from you. And, trust me when I say this, but Declan has proven to be one hundred times the man I thought you were. In every way possible. If you get my drift.”
He rolls his eyes and then scowls at me, still blocking my way. I’m ready to break his arm if he doesn’t move it soon.
“So he is just a fuck buddy to you, then. Good to know. I never really pegged you as that type, but I guess that means I don’t really know you as well as I thought I did.”
“Obviously, and Declan is NOT just a fuck buddy, Preston. But, for the thousandth time...that is NONE of your business. Now move your arm before I move it for you. And trust me when I say that it would be quite painful for you.”
He laughs, inching closer to me all while keeping his hand on the door frame.
“You might be some hot shot wrestler now, Nova, but do you really think you could do anything to hurt me or overpower me in anyway? I don’t think--”
He’s quickly cut off as the exit down the hall bursts open. We both look down towards the door and to my relief, Declan is walking inside. He stops dead in his tracks, and his eyes fall directly on Preston. Preston immediately drops his hand, as he and Declan engage in a heated staredown. Declan is about to rush to my side, but I hold my hand up, signalling to him that I’m fine, but he keeps his eye on the situation the entire time. I look back to Preston with a grin.
“Whether or not you believe it, Preston, I can assure you, I could. But, Declan over there…”
I point to him and he’s still glaring heatedly at Preston, and Preston looks back to me.
“He could, and would, do so much worse. So, don’t push your luck.”
“Seriously, Nova? After everything we went through, you’re just going to up and throw it all away for that guy? And you’re really sick him on me?”
I smile a wicked smile as I finally step past Preston, and towards Declan. I turn and look at Preston one last time.
“In a heartbeat…”
And with that I turn and starting heading down the hall towards Declan. I can feel Preston’s eyes on me the entire time, but that’s good. I want him to watch. I want him to see me walking into the arms of another man. I want him to get the full picture and realize, once and for all, that we are done. And that our past is just that. The past. As I walk within just a few inches of Declan, he holds his hand out to me, and then pulls me in close before he kisses me hard. I kiss him back just as hard, knowing full well that Preston is still watching and after several long moments, we finally break the kiss, turn and head out of the arena and to Declan’s waiting car.
Hopefully that was proof enough for Preston…
Days later…
CAMERA: OFF
A couple of days after that confrontation with Preston after LAW 72, I find myself inside the gym of Declan’s lavish new mansion in California. It was also after that confrontation that I made the decision to take Declan up on his offer to move in with him. To some that may seem early and a bit of a rash decision, but I don’t regret it. Not one bit.
My upcoming match for the LAW Breakout Championship is a couple of weeks away, but as it is my first opportunity to win a title, the sooner I start my training, the better. I’m already dressed in my training gear, and my hair is pulled back, as I look around the gym and all the equipment.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a professional gym and seen this much equipment. Why am I still surprised at just how much stuff you have?”
“Well, there's some stuff here that's not...technically...available to the public just yet. I take my training very seriously.”
I turn and grin at him. As overwhelming as this all is, I am starting to get used to it all...including Declan.
“That is quite apparent. So...where do we start?”
“We'll be upping your cardio heavily in the next few days, long running, and maybe a little altitude training. Strategically, the best thing to do would be to avoid the chaos until everybody else destroys each other. This way, you'll last longer than they do.”
I nod, trying to keep a serious look on my face as I look forward to having Declan teach me a few things. Not that he hasn’t already, but I mean as far as wrestling is concerned.
“That makes sense. But this is a ladder match. Everyone is going to be trying to make a beeline for the ladders to get the title. Though if I’m honest, I’m more worried about getting my hands on little miss Mafia Princess, Maria.”
“That's just it. If you can let everyone else kill each other with ladders, maybe get some hits in on Toni Soprano over there....then you have a clear path.”
I laugh and scratch my head. I should understand what he is trying to teach me, but I’m still left a little confused.
“I get what you’re saying but wouldn’t that make me look like I’m afraid or something? I’m really not. I want to prove I have what it takes. That I can hack it in matches like this. Besides, I’m a high flyer. Taking risks and being part of the chaos comes with the territory.”
“More tenured wrestlers than you have thought that. They're in wheelchairs now.”
“But I bet none of them regret a second of any of it. I know I could use to add to my skill set and such, but this is what I've done from the beginning. There's just a thrill to it all.”
“You can take care of your thrills with me, angel. As for the ring...it doesn't matter what others think. Just what you produce. In five years, are people going to remember a title reign or you beating people up more?”
I grin sheepishly at him. He has a point. To everything.
“Ok first, those are very different thrills, Declan. Second, people are going to remember what they want to remember, honestly.”
“Champions are remembered forever. Nobody can take you off a title history. But, in any case, let's look right now at the first of two moves I wish to show you.”
“Ready whenever you are.”
He walks with me to his tape library, a deeply extensive collection of wrestling lore. We sit together in a well-worn armchair, as he turns on a television to show me the first move.
“A little overly flippy with the somersault, but very pretty.”
I stare at the television for a few moments, studying the move. I nod and give it an approving smile.
“I wouldn’t say overly flippy, but I definitely like it. I could see myself using it.”
He kisses my neck, right beside my collarbone.
“We'll practice it over the next few days. The other one, we can't watch...it's of my own invention, and you're the only one that will ever know it.”
I let myself smile again, not only enjoying the kiss on the neck and wishing he would do it again, but also the little bit of information I just found out.
“Oh really? And what makes me so special to receive that honor?”
“You mean a lot to me. I wanted it to be my special gift to you. My trainer, Robbie Priest, used a move called the Painkiller. It was a reverse Fujiwara Armbar that could just about rip a man's arm off. When our training concluded, he taught me a move only I would ever know. The Painkiller 2.0. This was, in a sense, an inverted version of what he did, and it was damn near unbreakable. Thus, to show you how much you mean to me, I am teaching you the next version, a move of my own invention, the Painkiller 3.0.”
We walk out to an open expanse, similar to a Jiu-Jitsu dojo, and he demonstrates the move on a dummy, showing me the mechanics and grip. I study every second of it, but I bite at my bottom lip, as I think about something.
“You know, I wasn't really expecting you to tell me the whole story about the move. Showing it to me and teaching it to me is one thing, but explaining its importance? It kind of took me by surprise.”
Declan rolls to his stomach, looking directly at me. I feel myself falling for him more and more, but I try to keep a serious look on my face for the moment.
“I created it to be something safer for you to do...and also to show you just how much you mean to me.”
I smile again, showing just how much I enjoy hearing him say those words. But my smile fades a few moments later and I turns serious once again as I look at him.
“I can see that, and it’s making me realize that I’m not exactly returning the favor by sharing anything with you.”
“You don’t need to do that. I’d love you to share with me, but do it when you’re comfortable.”
“I do need to do it, Declan. And I think I need to start now, considering everything that is going on now with Preston. I think there are some things you need to know.”
Declan is quiet, pensive. Unlike his usual self. I prepare my thoughts in my head, praying he’ll understand what I’m about to tell him.
“Okay.”
I close my eyes for a brief moment, taking in a deep breath before opening them again. I can’t look directly at Declan. Not yet.
“I met Preston when I was fourteen after my dad died. He wasn’t exactly on a good path, and after my dad died, I don’t think I would have been either. But we grew close and kind of leaned on each other.”
I turn and glance to Declan, and he’s giving me his full attention, letting me speak. I take in deep breath and just let it out.
“When I was fifteen I...I got pregnant.”
Declan sighs. It’s as if he’s not shocked, but I know he’s putting the pieces together.
“I freaked out. I wasn't ready, and I knew he wasn't either. I wanted to end the pregnancy, and I thought he would feel the same way I did, but he didn't. I let him guilt me into not getting the abortion.”
“You kept it?”
I go silent for a moment before looking to him again, my face full of so many different emotions, as I reveal the next part of the story to him.
“Well, I went to term with the pregnancy, but…”
“Oh. God, I shouldn’t have even…”
I shake her head, taking his hand in mine. I don’t want him to feel guilty. Not one bit.
“No, it's okay. I'm...I'm not even really upset about it. I wasn't ready to have a baby, and honestly, I'm never going to be ready. Preston just has this notion that I haven't grieved. He had a hard time understanding why one day, the baby was fine and kicking and the next...he wasn't.”
I shake my head, confused about it myself, even to this day. But, I have never let it consume me.
“The doctor said these things happen and they aren't always explainable, but I'm fine. I really am. I guess some people just think that makes me a bad person to think like that. To not be upset that my baby died.”
“I heard your mom talk about him, before we got together...she thinks that too, doesn’t she?”
“In a way I think so. She's always outwardly supportive of me, but inside? I know she thinks different.”
“You think she wouldn’t approve of me?”
I laughs and squeezes his hand. Of course he would ask that next.
“At first, probably not. But she didn’t approve of Preston, either. Besides, I don’t need her approval on who I am or am not seeing. Just like she clearly doesn’t need mine.”
“So, that’s true?”
“If you mean her and my so called friend, Jocelyn.”
I shudders and then nods, reluctant to admit the hard truth.
“Then, yes. Unfortunately, that is true.”
“Why does it bother you? It’s just sex. If your mom’s happy, and your friend’s happy...why does it matter? It’s not like you’re still sixteen and in school.”
“It's just...weird! I don't know. I can't even really explain it right now.”
“You want my advice on it?”
I look him in his eyes and nod. He seems to have the best advice, so it couldn’t hurt.
“Sure. Why not.”
“Let it chill. Don’t talk to them, don’t even think about it, for a few weeks. We’ll fly your mom out for Thanksgiving. Maybe Jocelyn too. And we’ll talk like adults, and hash this out. Over my excellent turkey. Like....my turkey could viably bring world peace.”
I manage to let out a laugh before I lean in and give him a quick kiss. I really do love kissing him.
“Thanks for the advice, and the offer. I'll have to think about that.”
“Just...my parents sucked. Abusive alcoholics who are better off dead. You have one parent still, who seems to care, in her way. Maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt. Preston, in no uncertain terms, will never see you again. Ever. He gets into the same state, I’ll have him picked up, and taken away forever.”
“I'll worry about my mother later. I just wanted you to know about the stuff with Preston to understand why he's reacting the way he is. A part of the reason I broke up with him was because he was always talking about our future together and how much he couldn't wait for us to have kids…”
“I want us to stay together for good. We...actually can’t, have kids. Even if we wanted to.”
I turn my head and look at him, arching an eyebrow. I’m pretty sure I know what he means, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions or assume anything.
“Meaning?”
“I had a vasectomy when I was eighteen.”
“Eighteen? Wow. What happened? I mean, that just seems kind of young. But, it doesn't bother me, because I've never seen myself wanting kids anyway.”
“Never wanted kids. I’m not a kids person...not enough patience.”
I grin and let out a laugh. I found that last little bit hard to believe, because he’s been very patient with me.
“I don't know where mine stemmed from. I just never saw myself as being a mother. Being forced to go through that pregnancy was bad enough. And that is why I turned to wrestling. To lose the extra weight and to let off some steam.”
“Well...you definitely look magnificent…”
“Yes, well luckily you don't need to see me looking otherwise.”
“I dunno, I think, as bad as I am...it wouldn’t have stopped me.”
I arch an eyebrow again.
“As bad as you are?”
“As much as I want to have sex with you every waking minute…”
I flash him a smile again, amused but not surprised.
“I wouldn't say that is less you being bad, but more a typical male.”
“Far from typical…”
He grins, pinning my wrists to the mat.
“What's this? Another move you want to teach me?”
“Nah, I think you’ve gotten very familiar with this one…”
He kisses me deeply as we take a temporary break from our training session and engage in our next favorite activity. Not that I’m complaining at all…
“Things don’t always go the way we think they will, do they? You can form a plan for yourself, only for life to have a completely different plan of its own for you. Sometimes life has better plans for us, and other times, it throws a wrench at us, smacking us right in the head and damn near knocking us unconcious.
Most of what is going on in my life right now are things I never would have planned for myself. Aside from my wrestling career and breaking things off with Preston, everything else has been events that life has thrown at me. And I’m doing my best to take all of the bad in stride, but also to enjoy the great things that have come my way over the past few months.
Declan is, perhaps, the biggest surprise that life brought my way. I didn’t go out seeking him. I wasn’t actively looking for someone to replace Preston, or someone to be with, but I guess life thought different. And I couldn’t be more thankful. Our situation isn’t exactly what most would consider normal, but so what? I enjoy being with him, and I enjoy everything he is showing me that life has to offer. Whereever it takes me next has yet to be seen, but I’m looking forward to every second of it.
And then there is my status in LAW. I’m only going into my fifth match in LAW, and it just so happens that I’m part of the Ladder Match for the Breakout Championship. I don’t know how it happened. I wasn’t expecting this, especially not so soon. I was hoping my first big ppv match would give me a bit of a challenge, but I never in a million years expected this. I didn’t even ask for this, but someone thought high enough of me to give me this opportunity, right?
It’s not going to be easy. It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s a ladder match with five women, each wanting to be the one to grab that belt from high above the ring. And not only that, but considering four out of the five each have a big problem with one another...well, that’s enough evidence to easily put this in contention for match of the night, wouldn’t you agree?
Life sure has had a way of showing me that I’m meant for great things. It’s shown me not to hold myself back, at all, because it will always have other plans for me. So the days of making plans for myself are over. The days of living life one day at a time and see what each day brings are in full swing, because who knows what it could bring next.
Maybe a nice shiny title around my waist…
Most of the last week and a half has been spent training and preparing for my match at Night of Glory. So it should come as no surprise that I once again find myself in my workout gear, walking down a long hallway, in Declan’s new San Clemente, California home. Suddenly, I hear a loud bang coming from the workout room. I run over to check the cause of the crash, and see Declan, in workout gear and a high altitude mask, crashed in front of the treadmill, his skin a scary shade of blue.
“Oh my God!”
I rush over to Declan, crouching down to check on him. I turn to the treadmill, and see that he’s already clocked four miles. He just manages to wheeze out…
"I’m....I’m fine.”
I shakes my head, staring at him with concern. Of course he would say he’s fine, but judging by his current state, I think otherwise.
"You absolutely do not look fine, Declan.”
I somehow manage to help him sit up, still worried.
"What happened??”
"Just working out...I’ve another mile to go, then bench…”
"Yeah, I don’t think so. You ran four miles already and apparently you couldn’t handle that much.”
I sit down next to him, making sure he’s ok. I didn’t think I’d ever have to be the one to worry about him, but here I am.
"Care to explain why you’re pushing yourself so hard today?”
"I always push myself this hard. I just had to notch off the oxygen…”
My jaw drops open. He can’t possibly be serious. And why am I still talking to him while he has that mask on?
”Notch off the oxygen? Why? And just working out doesn’t explain how you ended up on the floor.”
With a little difficulty, he finally pulls off the mask, sucking in big breaths.
"I train super-high altitude for stamina. So my brain and body can operate on very little oxygen. So I can go harder for longer than anyone else.”
"That just seems a bit extreme to me. You could have seriously hurt yourself just now.”
Declan’s voice is hard, bitter.
"So?”
I’m taken by surprise at his tone, so naturally I’m going to question him on it.
"Where is all of this suddenly coming from?”
"Nova, I love you. I love Amy, I love Kendra, and I love you. But unless I am the best...better conditioned, better built, better trained...than any other wrestler, I can’t love myself. If I can’t be the best...than what’s the point of being at all?”
I stare at him, even more surprised, and think for a few seconds before I lean in and kiss him. When I back away I look into his eyes.
"Well..you’re the best to me. Regardless of how hard you push yourself. And stop saying things like that.”
"Nova...this was always my life. If I was studying for a test in school, I’d function on caffeine pills for three days before, then skip the next two. If it was yachting, I’d spend weeks on my boat, I’d even sleep in it. Anything less was laziness.”
"I get that, and I understand. I just don’t want you to say things like what’s the point of being at all, if you’re not the best. You’re amazing, and I’m thankful to have you in my life now.”
"I don’t expect you to. You’re so goddamn perfect. I just...if I don’t do this, if I’m not the best...what am I?”
I laugh and shake my head.
"I am far from perfect, Declan.”
"You are. And I know you’re going to win that ladder match. Because just being you, you’re the best. You have more heart and soul and backbone than all of them combined.”
I smile and kiss him again. Once again I think quietly to myself about how much I really enjoy doing that.
"Thank you. For everything. For your confidence in me and just being so..amazing.”
I shrug and then take in a deep breath.
"But even if I don’t win, it’s not going to be a big deal to me. I have my work cut out for me, and I think you’re about the only one who thinks I even stand a chance, but that’s ok.”
"Then fuck them. The only person who needs to know you can win isn’t me. It’s you. Kenzi Grey is great. Believe me, that I know that. I knew of her long before you stepped foot in a ring. Millisandre Crowthorne is no fucking joke. She didn’t get here by accident. I watched her and I saw so much raw talent, it’s almost obscene. Mitsuzaka is a ringer. Anyone trained in Japan has a level of focus and dedication that most wrestlers on this continent don’t know exists. She’s got a scary amount of natural talent to combine with that, too. And Maria Salvatore, despite being a walking Italian stereotype and every mobster joke rolled into one, isn’t here because she beat a bunch of fluffy bunny rabbits. Yet, through all that...I believe in you. I know that you can. And it’s about time you realised it, too.”
I smile more than I think I have in a while.
"It’s not that I don’t realize I can do it. But maybe...I don’t know. Maybe a part of me doesn’t want to win this one. Not yet, anyway.”
"Take it from someone who’s raised a few world titles. Gold tastes better than revenge.”
"Oh trust me, I want to win a title eventually. But so soon? I’ve seen people breakout and win titles early on, only for everything to just crash not long after. Or I’ve seen people just be so hungry for Gold and nothing else.”
"Gold is the material upon which legacies are built.”
I smile and nod.
"True. But what about the people who can win gold over and over, by luck or otherwise, but can’t even successfully defend it?”
"You’ll defend it all right. But first thing’s first.”
"First I have to get through four other women to win it. One is the champion, and the other three are hungrier for it than I am.”
I laugh and shake my head.
"I imagine once I step into the ring at Night of Glory that my tune will change and that I’ll start to want it a bit more.”
"Think that’ll be a bit late, lamb…”
"Maybe. Maybe not.”
I grin, but something else hits me. Something new, different.
"And did you just call me lamb?”
He looks down, obviously ready for me to be angry. I don’t know why, because he’s never given me any reason to be angry with him.
"Yeah…”
"Maybe I should get the reference, but I’m a bit slow today. So...why?”
"Not a reference. Just a term of endearment.”
"That’s a new one for me, but got it.”
I look around, realizing we are still sitting on the floor.
"Maybe we should get up off the floor now. I think you’ve had time to recover from your crash and burn…”
Declan reaches up and picks himself up on the treadmill. He is, thankfully, steadier than I thought he would be given the condition I thought he was in just a few minutes ago.
"Let’s go for a run.”
I follow suit and stand up right after him, dusting myself off.
”You can take a break for a little while, Declan. I won’t tell anybody.”
I grin and wink at him.
"You, however, cannot. C’mon, let’s get moving.”
"Yes, sir!”
I can’t help but pretend to be the obedient student as Declan has been my teacher, but my giggle that follows proves I was only joking.
"And if you must mother hen me in such a manner, I will consent to not running myself, but simply following you on a bicycle. Oh, but you’ll have to wear this...”
He strides over to a small closet, and pulls out a pink sweatsuit. I stare at it seriously for a moment.
"Really? That?”
I take the sweatsuit from him and let out another laugh.
"Here I thought you liked me better with less clothes on…”
" Generally. But if I’m going to make a reference to Punch-Out, I’m going all the way with it.”
"Whatever you say. At least it’s pink.”
I have no idea what the Punch-Out reference is, but simply shrug it off as I throw on the pink sweatsuit over my workout gear. Immediately after we head out of the mansion to go for our run, stepping up the next phase of my training. Slowly, but surely, I can see that Breakout Championship a little brighter in my future.
Early in the morning a few days later, I wake up before Declan. It’s earlier than I am used to being awake as the sun is only barely starting to rise. Once I’m out of bed I head into the bathroom and clean up just a bit. I throw my hair back in a ponytail and put on the pink sweatsuit once again, deciding to go for a run, this time without Declan. I need to find a way to become more confident in winning the Breakout Championship, so maybe a run will help me do just that.
Before I head outside, I pass by Declan’s bedroom, sneaking a peek inside. He’s still sleeping, so I make it a point to leave him a note in the kitchen so he doesn’t worry. I’m finally read a few minutes later and I head out the front door. At least I think it’s the front. This place is so large, it’s really hard to tell, but I’m getting more accustomed to it each day.
Once I step outside, I close my eyes and take in a slow deep breath, exhaling a few seconds later before I start to jog away from the house. I try to remember the path Declan and I took a few days ago, but even if I can’t remember, I’ll just wing it. I’ll find my way back eventually.
I jog for a few minutes, trying to warm up, and I slowly start to pick up the pace.
”I know you’re going to win that ladder match. Because just being you, you’re the best. You have more heart and soul and backbone than all of them combined.”
Declan’s words to me repeat over and over in my head. Before, I would try to convince myself that he was just being polite, trying to make me feel better. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it wasn’t that at all. He truly believes in me, despite only knowing me for a month or so. If he could believe in me so much after knowing me for such a short amount of time, why don’t I share the same confidence?
If there is one thing I know about myself, it’s that I’ve always believed in myself, no matter what. When the odds are stacked against me, I’ve always known I can overcome those odds and come out stronger...better. But I also don’t want to push that confidence to downright arrogance. I have never once wanted to come across as thinking I am better than anyone else, so how can I be confident I’m going to win this match, without it coming across as arrogance?
The thoughts continue to swirl through my mind the longer I run. I become less aware of my surroundings as I try to picture that Breakout Championship. More importantly, I try to envision myself at the top of the ladder, unclasping the title from high above the ring and being declared the new champion. I can do it. I know I can. I just…
My thoughts are suddenly stolen away as I stare further up ahead, coming closer to returning to the mansion. My heart races faster, out of fear, as I see Preston staring directly at me as I get closer to him. I quickly stop running and start to back away, but I can tell he is walking forward trying to come towards me. I look around, trying to find any way away from him and when I look back, he’s gone. I blink and stand frozen in place, wondering if I should continue forward, as it is my only way back home.
I continue forward cautiously, looking around just to be sure. Preston is nowhere to be seen, which confuses the hell out of me, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I must have been imagining things. I can’t let this happen. I can’t let the situation with Preston distract me from anything, because if I do, it will end up destroying me in the end.
I end up rushing back to the house...back to Declan. Back to comfort and safety.
“One match. One title. Five women and who knows how many ladders will be at our disposal. Anything can happen. Blood could be shed and bones could very well be broken as we all fight tooth and nail to be the one to walk out of NIght of Glory as the Breakout Champion. This was an opportunity I wasn’t expecting, but it is an opportunity that I am one hundred percent going to make the best of and take full advantage of.
It’s no secret that the Breakout Title has, perhaps, been the most sought after title in recent months. Ever since I first stepped foot in LAW, that’s the one title that I heard the most rumblings about. Whether it was from Kenzi Grey or Milisandre. Someone wanted it. Someone laid claim to it, despite not even being the champion. I will admit, before stepping foot into LAW, I couldn’t tell you who I would even guess deserved it more than anyone else, because I don’t know who had even earned it yet.
Kenzi has been around longer than Milisandre. That is fairly obvious, but does she deserve it more than Milisandre? I don’t know. I know before I defeated Milisandre, she was undefeated herself so I could understand why she was trying to put herself into contention for the title. But, what is the point of running around whining and crying about a title shot you’re not being given? What, in all honesty, does it get you in claiming you deserve a title shot over anyone else?
Maybe I am overthinking it. Maybe I’m not. All I know is that when I stepped foot in LAW, I made a promise to myself. I promised myself that I would NEVER run around demanding a title shot or trying to push the bosses into giving me something that maybe, just maybe, I hadn’t earned yet. I didn’t care how long it took or what I had to do. I knew eventually, I would get my shot.
And here I am. Going into my FIFTH match, and it’s for the Breakout Championship. Not bad, if you ask me. And never once did I go out and lay claim to it. It all came my way, under crazy circumstances I might add.
I had hoped my match at Night of Glory would just be a one-on-one grudge match. It’s no secret I’m still angry with Maria Salvatore- sorry, Spencer- for doing what she did in our tag team match against Kenzi and Milisandre weeks ago. If there is one person I KNOW doesn’t deserve that title, it’s her. And I’m going to prove it, even if it ends up costing me the title because Maria will NOT become the Breakout Champion.
And poor Etsuko. I don’t even know the woman, but because she is the champion, she’s become part of this whole clusterfuck simply by default. Do I expect her to fight to hold on to what only she can lay claim to right now? Absolutely. Do I think she stands a chance at retaining? Well...she has a one in five chance at accomplishing that, but I wish her the best of luck anyway. I wish Kenzi and Milisandre the best of luck, too. I have no ill will towards any of those three.
But Maria Spencer can eff off right back to Jersey Shore where she belongs. From the moment that bell rings, my sole focus will be on her and getting that bitch out of the picture, and I’ll let the other three tear each other to shreds while I’m handling Maria.
I have a strategy in my head. I’m mentally prepared and day by day, I’m getting more and more physically prepared. Will it be easy? No. Not by any means, but my eyes are on the prize and I know what I need to do to achieve it. I know what I WILL do to achieve it.
Sadly, I don’t think Etsuko, Kenzi, Mili and Maria are quite as prepared. And I don’t think they’re fully aware of what side of me they are going to see come Night of Glory. The clock is ticking. Eight days left. Eight days until the five of us step into that ring but only one will walk out as the champion.
And my future is looking a little brighter...A little shinier…