Post by Kenzi Grey on Aug 20, 2016 8:49:18 GMT -5
OOC: I'm trying something different here, not only going first person but also going a bit deeper into what is really going on inside the mind of this character that I am quickly starting to love more than many others I have done. I know that playing her this way is inherently dangerous since now she really has no 'secrets' or filter per say, beyond the fact that everyone really only knows what she 'says' but at least now people will get her motivations and may see that she's not exactly crazy, but she has a particular view of the world that leads her down certain paths. For those of you on Twitter, this may be more telling, since that is where a majority of this material comes from. I hope you enjoy it...I sure enjoyed writing it!
Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum
Phoenix, Arizona
7 August 2016
I held the microphone firmly in one hand as I secured Dog, the Welsh Corgi puppy that my girlfriend Tina had brought me for my 21st birthday. I was never nervous around crowds, hostile or not. In fact, I fed on them…especially the hostile ones. I liked the idea that they disliked me…the reason didn’t matter. They thought I was lame or they just hated me because they felt I had more than they had…more than I deserved. I never cared…I always ate it up. Tonight was different…
As I stood in the ring facing off against the hostile crowd, bearing my soul not only to them…but to Megan Helms-King and one decidedly pissed off Alexis Blake…it hit me…I was the world’s biggest sucker! I’m no saint…I was out there pleading my case just so LAW would finally give me the shot that I earned…a chance at a championship title. I had done what was asked of me and won matches…huge matches. My one loss since May had come in questionable fashion against Mindy De Santiago after interference in my match. Wins over Keira Fisher and Mackenzie Roberts should have been more than enough to propel me into the title picture…but no…I needed to ‘settle’ things with Alexis Blake before I’d be considered for anything at all. As I stood there in the middle of that ring, it was abundantly clear that there would be no ‘settling’ of things…I was in that ring because of ratings. LAW never had any intention of giving me the same treatment as it’s favorites like Keira Fisher…I was there to take the bumps and amuse the crowd by getting my comeuppance…as it were.
I swore under my breath, cursing myself for a fool as I held Dog closer, his warm fur between my fingers bringing me some small bit of comfort as I tried to back out of the ring. Alexis was pacing like a caged animal and I was inside said cage. Even as I stepped outside and she allowed it…I should have never turned my back. I can’t stop replaying that moment in my head over and over. I was knocked off the apron and I fell to the floor with Dog still clutched to my chest. There was a sickening crunch and then a yelp as I landed on him.
I held him in my arms…I don’t know for how long. Friends came to my side…Melissa Reaves and Missy…Katie Anderson was there…other girls from the LAW roster. They tried to comfort me…tried to take Dog away from me to see if they could help…I knew they couldn’t. As soon as I had the chance, I got up and I ran…I ran with Dog in my arms as fast as I could. This was my fault…not for taking Dog with me…but for trusting the words of people like Megan Helms-King and Doctor Steve! I trusted the words they said…I trusted that if I did the things they wanted and walked the straight and narrow…things would work out for me. Well…they fucking didn’t! Dog paid the price for my stupidity…Dog paid for my willingness to put my faith in people who saw me as little more than a broken toy!
Ria Nightshade had come to me the week before and told me that I was stupid to trust them. They didn’t see me for who I was…they only wanted me for what I could get them! Notoriety…ratings…I was nothing but fodder for both. None of them…not even the other girls in the back gave two shits about me and what their lies did to me! I was truly an outsider…and had I listened to Ria, none of this would have happened…NONE OF IT! Owed her…and one day, I’d pay her back.
Contrary to popular belief…I did take Dog to get emergency care. He was seriously injured…hanging on the brink because of me and what I’d chosen to believe. He was given hardly any chance to survive…and I couldn’t even stay there to see if he would make it. I ran…I ran back home. Not to Tina…but to the home I had only just run from to be with her. I ran back home to my mother, of all fucking people…
Sidney Grey’s Residence
New York City, New York
14 August 2016
In predictable fashion, my mother was filled with glee over me running back home and collapsing into her arms. I had been crying for days on end and she had been loving every moment of it for her own selfish reasons. Now, days later as I continued to be a complete and utter wreck, she was still gloating. Even as she held me, rubbing my back from the ease of her wheelchair…one that I had helped to put her in, I could feel the self-righteousness radiating off of her like a furnace. She couldn’t have been happier about what happened to me and it was painfully apparent.
Sidney held me back and looked into my eyes, just like she use to do when I was a child. “I knew you’d come running right back to me…you always do…and you always will.” She smiled, though it was hard to tell because her face was mostly frozen from the Botox injections she regularly received. Still, I could see that if she could, she would be grinning from ear to ear at my misfortune. My heathen lifestyle had led me to this and she delighted in it. “You should have listened to me Kenzi…you should have listened to your mother! I told you that those people only wanted to use you! I told you that those people only wanted you for what you could give them! Living that deplorable lifestyle with that Tina Hall person!” She narrowed her eyes, as much as she could, “Whoring yourself to other women…I told you that no good would come of that! This is what you get!”
Anger rose in me and it nearly bubbled over, but my grief kept it someone in check. I glared at her, choking down my anger as I did. “That’s really funny coming from you Mother…considering how you practically gave me to Jamilyn Cornett…or did you forget about that?”
Sidney gave me a dismissive wave of her hand, not wanting to admit that I was right as near as I could determine. “That Cornett woman duped us both. She made me think that she cared about you…I told her about your personality disorder and she said she could manage it. She loved you and you loved her…” She threw up her hands and gave a sigh of exasperation. “You were committed to being a lesbian…so…I let you find out the hard way!”
‘Find out the hard way?’ This was actually about as close as my shitty mother was ever going to come to admitting that she was wrong and telling me that she was sorry. I accepted it for what it really was. Sidney was upset that she had been played by Jamilyn as well. As for me…it was just a life lesson as far as she was concerned. Even for me, duped wasn’t really the right word. I really did love Jamilyn…even after she revealed to everyone that she had just wanted to emotionally rape me…all in the name of avenging Alex Yin. This, of course, rung hollow since I had never done anything but love Alex with every fiber of my being. I’d probably never know why Jamilyn really set her eyes on trying to destroy me, but either way, I was still here and that was all that really mattered. Instead of arguing the point, I stood up, eager to find Bobbi, my old bodyguard. “Where’s Bobbi?”
My mother folded her arms as she glared at me, “Is that it? You ran home to get Bobbi to protect you from Alexis Blake? I hope that’s not what you’re thinking!”
I rolled my eyes, it really wasn’t what I was thinking…but now that she mentioned it, it really wasn’t such a bad idea. I really wanted to tear Alexis’ head clean off her shoulders myself…but I wasn’t picky and I had no problem with allowing Bobbi to do it. Instead of admitting this, I turned to my mother folding my arms in return as I cocked my head to side and gave an exasperated sigh. “She’s my friend Mom! I’d like to see her…if that’s okay with you!” This wasn’t completely true. Bobbi was never really my friend, but she was useful to me in other more important ways. I wanted her to be useful to me again…if I could swing it.
My mother eyed me suspiciously, I knew she could see my wheels turning. She was always good at reading people…though I was tougher than most. She knew that I had an ulterior motive for asking after Bobbi. She shrugged her shoulder, giving a flippant reply, “Bobbi is around…probably eating…as usual, but you don’t need to worry about her. Bobbi has other things to worry about…namely getting rid of that stupid steroid freak Wolverina!”
Wolverina was the woman that had been giving my mother fits over the last several weeks. Though Bobbi had been able to deal with her handily, it was always at my mother’s direction and with her ‘assistance.’ Now, with Queen of the Ring looming, my mother had thrown down the gauntlet and challenged her to a ‘loser leaves LAW match.’ Looking at her, I could see that she was brimming with confidence. Bobbi was nearly 300 pounds and after two one on one encounters, Wolverina had been left beaten half to death…but…that hadn’t stopped her from getting back up and coming on stronger…it never did. This was my mother’s way of doing away with her for good. I nodded, trying to appear as though I was concerned, though I really wasn’t. “Well…I just wanted to say hello is all.”
Sidney chuckled and I knew that she was on to me, “Look…you went out of your way to hurt me and make me look like a fool when you turned your back on me. You and your nappy headed friend Brittany Williams derailed Bobbi’s chance in the tournament, so you have caused enough damage!” She wheeled her chair away from me, predictably heading towards the bar as she poured herself a drink. “You’ll have to deal with the mess you made with that man, Alexis Blake, on your own!”
I couldn’t help but to laugh at that. I had been the one to start referring to Alexis as a ‘man’ because of her enormous size. I was honestly happy that it was catching on. I pushed down my amusement as I folded my arms, “You think I can’t beat Alexis on my own? You think I need help?” I rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth, “I beat the number one contender for the LAW Title and I beat the current Marquee Champion! I’d beat Alexis Blake with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my fucking back!”
My mother laughed, nearly spitting out her drink, “REALLY?! That’s hilarious…seeing as how Keira Fisher nearly beat you to death…”
I interjected, “I was declared the winner…”
She continued, “…and you hit Mackenzie Roberts with a crutch!”
Again, I added, “…Alexis Blake brought the crutch to the ring!”
She gave a dismissive wave of my protests, “You have won exactly ZERO matches on your own honey. Don’t go getting big headed now because your little doggie got offed, okay?!”
Okay! This pissed me off! She could shit on me and my less-than-awesome in-ring skills, but invoking the memory of what happened to Dog was certainly not going to fly with me. I charged across the room, slapping the drink out of her hand as I leaned down and stared right back into her eyes, “DON’T YOU DARE!! DON’T YOU FUCKING EVER…UNDERSTAND ME?!!” My chest heaved up and down and my eyes were narrowed to deadly slits. She had likely never seen me this way before…the shock that registered on her face was momentary.
She pushed me backwards, nearly sending me tumbling over the coffee table and onto my ass. My mother might have been old, but she had the strength of 100 old ladies…assuming that is something that is suitably strong. Either way, my attempt at being intimidating ended with a whimper instead of a bang. “DON’T YOU DARE DO THAT AGAIN! I MIGHT BE IN A WHEELCHAIR BUT I’M STILL YOUR MOTHER AND I CAN STILL KICK YOUR ASS!” Of that, I really had little doubt. My mother was tough as old shoe leather and meaner than anyone I had ever met. Fighting was never something that anyone said Sidney Grey couldn’t do. “I suggest that you find a way to take care of Alexis Blake on your own! You need to grow up Ken…you need to stop wasting your life with pretending to be a lesbian just to spite me and stand on your own two feet like the woman I’ve been trying to raise!”
This actually did make me laugh out loud…and not the usual LOL Twitter variety. My mother was NEVER there for me when I was little and she didn’t raise me when she was there. Being branded as a ‘Rape Baby’ has never done anything for my ego, but still that was about as close as she came to being truly affectionate. I wasn’t going to allow this to pass…I wasn’t going to allow her to tell this lie to me or herself if she was stupid enough to believe it. “You have NEVER raised anything…least of all ME! You were never there mother! You were always off drinking and whoring…”
“Like you are now?” She cut me off, hitting me where it hurt.
It was true, I was I was repeating the sins that she had committed…but in truth, what else did I really know? “Well…I got it from you mom…so what do you think about that?!” She wanted to say something…she wanted to slap my face, but I wasn’t going to give her the chance to do either of those things. “I’m not perfect…I know that! People around me remind me every single day! Keira Fisher and Jenny Tuck hate me because they hate you! I gave them plenty of reasons since then…but once again…I got that from YOU!” I paced back and forth, just out of her reach. I rather enjoyed having her confined to a wheelchair. I wonder how different my life would have been had she been in that chair when I was younger? “I made my mistakes with Alex, Jamilyn, and maybe even Tina…” Adding in Tina probably wasn’t fair. Despite her failings, she was the best of the bunch because she loved me without conditions. Alex always wanted to change me…into what, I had no idea…maybe just a friend with benefits. Jamilyn just wanted to destroy me…maybe she just wanted to turn Alex out…she did that…so good for her. Tina accepted me for who I was and she stood by me when everyone else deserted me. For that alone I should have loved her more…but I didn’t…I just felt obligated to be with her. This was more a revelation in the moment than anything else. I didn’t dwell on it…I just continued after my mother. “…all the mistakes I ever made I did because you were always a shitty mother! Always a shitty person! I wanted you to stop being shitty…I wanted you to be my mother and show me how to be someone good…but you weren’t there then, like you aren’t here for me now!”
My mother glared at me, and it was a wicked and evil glare. She jabbed her finger at me cruelly, “You were always a wicked and ungrateful child! Fucked in the head since the day you were born! Why would I stay there?! I had a life to live of my own…I couldn’t do that with you always making a mess of things! You’re a destroyer Kenzi…that is what you are! You destroy everyone and everything that ever gets too close to you!” I was rattled by this and it showed on my face. My mother smelled blood in the water and she tore into me for the fool I was to show it. “That stupid little dog paid for getting close to you…just like Alex Yin and Jamilyn Cornett…believe me, they all wish that they had NEVER met you! And that big breasted Alcoholics Anonymous reject you’ve been living with…Tina Hall…she’s going to be destroyed by you as well! It’s what you do Kenzi Grey…it’s what you’ve always done!”
For this…I truly had no answer…because she was right. I didn’t destroy those closest to me. I slowly choked the life out of them like I did with Alex…or my unique brand of crazy drove them running into some sort of crazy of their own like I had done to Jamilyn. Tina was next…no matter how I tried to deny it. The difference was that Tina was a willing victim.
“Give me a chance to help you use that…” My mother snapped me out of my inner thoughts. “…if you’re going to hurt people…it might as well be the right people!”
I stared at her, with a stupid blank look on my face. Was I hearing her right? Did she want me to embrace the thing that she despised in me? The thing that she blamed for holding back her own career? In that moment, I saw my mother for who and what she really was. It had taken me over 20 years to see it…but there it was in living color…my future…and the future of anyone I was stupid enough to truly allow to get that close to me. She reached out her hand and I stepped back. The crunch of broken glass under foot. Seeing my hesitation, she started to speak again, but I had heard enough. I turned on my heel, breaking for the door. Coming here had been a mistake…I should have known that from the moment I arrived. I… “AWWW!”
“KENZI!! HOW ARE YAH MATE?!” I had run headlong into Bobbi and she lifted me off my feet in a massive embrace that was meant to be loving, but my spinal column begged to disagree. Thankfully she saw the pain and panic on my face and she put me down quickly. “SORRY MATE!! Just really ‘appy to see yah!”
I was happy to see her too, just not at the moment, and not like this. “Bobbi!” I growled as I pushed past her, charging to my room to collect my bags.
Bobbi followed me, a look obvious concern on her face. “Mate…you alright? You look mad as a cut snake.”
Her Aussie slang was usually as confusing as her accent, but I got her meaning instantly. I was powerfully angry at the moment. I continued stuffing my suitcase. “Bobbi, I can’t stay here with that woman…I’ll kill her and then you’ll have to kill me!”
Bobbi looked back at the door, to make sure that Sidney wasn’t wheeling up, then she turned back to me. “Aye, yer mum is a bit of a nutter, but that’s a bit far mate. Maybe you can just talk to…”
I spun around, pointing my finger up at the massive woman, “Do yourself a favor Bobbi…get away from Sidney before she poisons you like she did to me! It will do you a world of good!” I slammed the suitcase closed and yanked it off the bed, carrying it out.
As I walked past the living room my mother was there leering at me, but didn’t move to stop me. “GO! RUN BACK TO YOUR LESBIAN LOVER! YOU’LL HAVE HER DESTROYED AND HATING YOU JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SOON!! MARK MY WORDS!!”
I walked out, slamming the door behind me, huffing and puffing as I tried to collect myself. I was actually madder than a ‘cut snake’ as Bobbi had put it…but there was something else as well. While what my mother had said had set me off…she wasn’t completely wrong either…about a great many things…
Tina Hall’s Residence
Los Angeles, California
15 August 2016
When I came back home, the words of my mother were still ringing in my ears. I was nothing more than a ‘destroyer.’ I had ruined things with Alex Yin, Jamilyn Cornett, and even Dog had paid a price for being near me. She said that Tina was next on that list…the next one that I would eventually find a way to destroy. I tried to push her words to the back of my mind…I tried to tell myself that I wasn’t what she said I was, but I knew I was lying to myself. It was only a matter of time before something broke…it always did.
I cared about Tina…but I wasn’t in love with her…not like she loved me. She had stood by me through the drama I had with Jamilyn…she didn’t judge me and she refused to leave me. I cried and I yelled as I tried to drive her away, but she always came back and she always stood by me. I felt obligated to stay with her…to find a way to love her the way she deserved to be loved. I played my part and I said and did all the right things…it was easy for me to do, I just did what Alex and Jamilyn did to me. I played my part expertly and it didn’t feel wrong because I truly wanted to see her happy…but I didn’t feel happy or whatever passed for happy.
Maybe it was still the idea that in time, as things progressed further, I’d completely destroy her…or maybe it was just the fact that for all the attention she showed me, I never felt it was enough and I felt I deserved more. Perhaps the latter did play its part. My world had been expanded with the addition of many new friends…most all from outside of LAW. Cass Baumer, Melissa Reeves, Katie Anderson, Missy, Sabrina Ramirez, and Nina Stokes. They were all in relationships and they were all over the moon happy with their partners. I was right in the middle of it all with them…talking about my love for Tina and trying my best to do what they were doing, but I was really just going through the motions.
I wasn’t even back 24 hours when I made up my mind that things had to change…for Tina’s sake, but mainly for my own. There were probably a hundred different ways that I could have done it…but I picked the stupidest way possible…I slept with the ex-boyfriend of Kate Bass. To be sure, it wasn’t completely out of the blue. This had been something that was a long time coming. Parker VanPeters had been casually flirting with me for weeks, but I always rejected his advances…telling him about my love for Tina or his own closeness to Casa De Kami and specifically Jamilyn Cornett. They were all just excuses, why lie, I was intrigued. He was handsome, funny, and gentle when it called for it.
I told Tina that I had to re-shoot some scenes for my show, but that was an out and out lie. I was going to see Parker that night. He had been through some relationship problems of his own and he was also feeling confused and out of sorts with everything going on around him…constantly being in love triangles can have an effect on you. I told myself that I would just console him, but I knew that I was going to do a lot more than that even as I left. I could tell by the look on Tina’s face and the sound of her voice that she already suspected what was happening.
After seeing him and talking about our problems, I thought that I might chicken out…but I turned out to be the aggressor after all. I had never been with a man before, so this was quite a different experience…maybe a bit more painful than I would have liked…but to be honest, I felt I deserved it for what I was doing. I had planned to spend more than a few days with Parker, but as soon as it was over I realized how much things needed to change for me now. I felt crappy…or at least I should have for getting what I wanted from him and then running off and leaving him as others in his life had recently done, but it couldn’t be helped. I couldn’t stay with him one more minute with the new knowledge inside me of how much different my life could and would be now. Parker had given me a taste of what it was like to have someone be there for me in ways that Tina just had and could not. It was selfish…but I’m a selfish person, I know that now.
I headed back ‘home’ as I communicated with my new circle of friends…giving them all varied accounts of what I had done and why I had done it. To a person, they had all made it clear that what I had done was certainly not good, but I needed to tell Tina the truth. I knew what this meant…it meant that I would hurt her…AGAIN, but I rationalized it by saying that it wasn’t me, but my friends that had forced me to tell her. A stupid lie that I told to myself, but there was really no real reason for it. Hell, Cass threatened to tell Tina herself if I didn’t…of course I was going to…I just wanted to say that it wasn’t my choice.
In predictable fashion, Tina hit the roof. I had done it to her yet again…but what I didn’t expect was for her to do what I had done and run away. I thought she might yell and scream, maybe even kick the shit out of me…which I more than deserved. Instead, she pulled a Kenzi Grey and hit the road, sending me text after text about her drinking her pain away. I had forced her to relapse…hooray for Team Dumb Ass! While I wanted out of the relationship and I was desperate to do it as emphatically as possible, this was not something that I had prepared for.
I looked high and low for Tina…playing the frantic role as best I could. Amy Jo Smyth was the only person that knew Tina and had bothered to try to help. I had reached out to Roxi Johnson, knowing they were tight…but she was away and Keira couldn’t be bothered to find her for me. I was on the ‘Pay No Mind List’ with them, so I should have known better than to even ask…but frankly, I was curious what they would say. I’d have to wait since Amy Jo proved to be a much more affective negotiator than I had anticipated. She talked Tina into calming down and she brought the entire episode to a nice and fairly neat close…all things considered. I was finally free from the prison I had locked myself inside…though admittedly it was the softest and most beautiful place I could have ever been, but this was not the time for Tina and I to be together. My mother was right…in time, I would have destroyed her and it would have been much worse than any of this. For me…this was a kindness to Tina and maybe in time she would see that. I didn’t expect her to forgive me because I wasn’t planning on forgiving myself, but I really did wish her all the best. In my own way, I loved Tina, just not as well as she deserved. She’d get over this and she’d find someone better and I’d be jealous…it was the one emotion that I still felt keenly, but I’d be what amounted to happy for her…she deserved good things…and I was never going to be that…
Colts Neck, New Jersey
19 August 2016
Now…of all places, I find myself on the palatial estates of one Megan Helms-King and Amy Jo Smyth. Talk about a hell of a change! Yes, I skipped ahead a few days…sorry about that, it couldn’t be helped. Suffice to say, after things were over with Tina, I had no intention of continuing to live in her place…that was tacky, plus her sister was there…and for some strange reason I got the feeling that she really wanted to have sex with me. So…I was out of there and on my own, but if history has proven anything, I really don’t do too well on my own. It was a gross miscalculation on my part. I thought that I could manage my abandonment issues on my own…especially since I was the one that had done the abandoning this time around…but I was wrong…dead wrong!
It took less than 24 hours for me to become a stark raving mad rage demon and before I knew it, I was being hustled onto a plane and flown to New Jersey under the care of Amy Jo Smyth. To be honest, I was both excited and a little wary to be that close to her, especially after seeing how she had so skillfully talked Tina off the ledge. That meant that she was intuitive and I didn’t want her using her powers of deductive reasoning on me! Yes…I have issues, everyone knows that…but just how deep seeded they are is really only known to me. Dr. Steve hand touched on it, but I’d used Tina’s sister to distract him whenever he got close to really figuring me out.
Is my Borderline Personality Disorder real? Absolutely! Is it crippling? Well…maybe not so much as I have made it out to be. I had destroyed my relationships because I had felt too keenly and that pushed the ones I loved away. I held on too tight…and I crushed the life out of any chance I had ever had of really being happy with anyone. I knew that I did it…I saw it coming…but I was always powerless to stop it. This episode with Tina was the lone exception…but only because I got out before things got too deep. She loved me too much…and I didn’t love her enough. This situation had really changed things for me…it had all changed me in a very unexpected way…
I felt empty inside…almost hollow in a way. Maybe it was the combination of everything I had been through with Alex Yin, Jamilyn Cornett, and losing Dog…or maybe it was just me. It was like emotions had become a foreign concept. I remembered them…I just couldn’t figure out how to process them. I should have been devastated by what I did to Tina…but I wasn’t. I should have been ashamed of myself for cheating on her…but I wasn’t. I played at being sad and I played at being ashamed…I hoped I did it right, but for all I knew I was going about it all wrong. Could Amy Jo see that? Would she find out that I was really an emotionless black hole that was just spinning out of control and sucking the life out of all the people around me? I hoped not…because I was finally starting to see who I really was…and I think I was starting to like it…
On-Camera Promo
Streaming Live from New Jersey
20 August 2016
I set up my camera and plopped down in front of it, ready to do what we in the ‘business’ called a good old fashioned shoot. With my match against Alexis Blake just over one week away, it was time to start making sure that LAW had a sellout crowd and iPPV buys were through the roof. Nothing sold tickets like the promise of a blood bath…next Sunday…there would be blood…
“To be honest, I’m not even sure where to start with this. So much has happened and so much has changed in the last few days. Right now, all eyes are on LAW’s Queen of the Ring. I was really looking forward to it as well…I was looking forward to LAW finally giving me what they owed me…a Chaos Title opportunity! I mean…I had beaten the likes of Keira Fisher and Mackenzie Roberts. These women are the elites in the company, but like always…I find myself pushed to the back and relegated to midcard status…Ria told me that you people would do this to me, but I refused to listen.”
My thoughts turned to LAW 52 and my attempts to do what Megan Helms-King had asked me to. I needed to squash things with Alexis before I got what I deserved. I had tried to do things her way and for that, Dog had paid the price…but at least my eyes were open now…
“I stepped up and I did what was asked of me and I got rewarded with a dead puppy and a no holds barred match against a MAN! Well…while I haven’t forgotten about what LAW owes me, I have ZERO intention of allowing Alexis Blake to walk away without consequence for what she did and what she continues to do to me and the people I care about!
She had continued to say that what had happened to Dog was an accident, but I knew better. She saw me holding him and she just didn’t care. What she had done to him was enough, but she hadn’t stopped her attacks. She turned her attention to my friends and that really pissed me off. I think I liked being pissed…besides jealousy, it was the one emotion that I had little trouble processing…
“Blake…you really stepped on your dick when you hurt Dog…but you stepped on the damn balls as well when you had the nerve to go after Katie Anderson and Melissa Reeves! Your beef is with me and it will get settled on Sunday in Las Vegas! Now…I could go on and on about the match here and now, but you and I have a date to do that with CTN on eXposed, so I won’t go into any of that with you right here today. I just want you to be ready to get a mouthful when we have our interview together…and then I want you to be ready to have your big ass mouth filled with my fist come Queen of the Ring! I am going to hurt you Alexis…I don’t care what I have to do…there is no way you leave that arena in anything other than a goddamn ambulance!”
I would deal with Alexis next Sunday, but I had one more matter to address before I cut this thing short…
“Michelle Anxo and THE Sam Tolson! LAW might have screwed me out of the chance to be in the match for the Chaos Title…but I don’t want either of you to think that whomever wins won’t have to deal with me after QOTR! I earned my shot…everyone knows it and I know that the two of you know it as well! I hope you are both breathing a sigh of relief, because if you’re not…you should be! Watch what I do to Alexis Blake next Sunday just because I hate her guts…then I want you to think real hard on what you think I’ll do to get my hands on that Chaos Title! I earned my shot at it and LAW management decided that I wasn’t worthy…even after I played by the rules and beat their golden girls. Well…if playing by the rules gets me nothing…watch me start to play by my own rules and then prepare yourselves for me when I DO get my chance at that title! I am going to take what LAW owes me…and trust me when I tell you this…there aint a DAMN thing you or anyone else can do about it!
Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum
Phoenix, Arizona
7 August 2016
I held the microphone firmly in one hand as I secured Dog, the Welsh Corgi puppy that my girlfriend Tina had brought me for my 21st birthday. I was never nervous around crowds, hostile or not. In fact, I fed on them…especially the hostile ones. I liked the idea that they disliked me…the reason didn’t matter. They thought I was lame or they just hated me because they felt I had more than they had…more than I deserved. I never cared…I always ate it up. Tonight was different…
As I stood in the ring facing off against the hostile crowd, bearing my soul not only to them…but to Megan Helms-King and one decidedly pissed off Alexis Blake…it hit me…I was the world’s biggest sucker! I’m no saint…I was out there pleading my case just so LAW would finally give me the shot that I earned…a chance at a championship title. I had done what was asked of me and won matches…huge matches. My one loss since May had come in questionable fashion against Mindy De Santiago after interference in my match. Wins over Keira Fisher and Mackenzie Roberts should have been more than enough to propel me into the title picture…but no…I needed to ‘settle’ things with Alexis Blake before I’d be considered for anything at all. As I stood there in the middle of that ring, it was abundantly clear that there would be no ‘settling’ of things…I was in that ring because of ratings. LAW never had any intention of giving me the same treatment as it’s favorites like Keira Fisher…I was there to take the bumps and amuse the crowd by getting my comeuppance…as it were.
I swore under my breath, cursing myself for a fool as I held Dog closer, his warm fur between my fingers bringing me some small bit of comfort as I tried to back out of the ring. Alexis was pacing like a caged animal and I was inside said cage. Even as I stepped outside and she allowed it…I should have never turned my back. I can’t stop replaying that moment in my head over and over. I was knocked off the apron and I fell to the floor with Dog still clutched to my chest. There was a sickening crunch and then a yelp as I landed on him.
I held him in my arms…I don’t know for how long. Friends came to my side…Melissa Reaves and Missy…Katie Anderson was there…other girls from the LAW roster. They tried to comfort me…tried to take Dog away from me to see if they could help…I knew they couldn’t. As soon as I had the chance, I got up and I ran…I ran with Dog in my arms as fast as I could. This was my fault…not for taking Dog with me…but for trusting the words of people like Megan Helms-King and Doctor Steve! I trusted the words they said…I trusted that if I did the things they wanted and walked the straight and narrow…things would work out for me. Well…they fucking didn’t! Dog paid the price for my stupidity…Dog paid for my willingness to put my faith in people who saw me as little more than a broken toy!
Ria Nightshade had come to me the week before and told me that I was stupid to trust them. They didn’t see me for who I was…they only wanted me for what I could get them! Notoriety…ratings…I was nothing but fodder for both. None of them…not even the other girls in the back gave two shits about me and what their lies did to me! I was truly an outsider…and had I listened to Ria, none of this would have happened…NONE OF IT! Owed her…and one day, I’d pay her back.
Contrary to popular belief…I did take Dog to get emergency care. He was seriously injured…hanging on the brink because of me and what I’d chosen to believe. He was given hardly any chance to survive…and I couldn’t even stay there to see if he would make it. I ran…I ran back home. Not to Tina…but to the home I had only just run from to be with her. I ran back home to my mother, of all fucking people…
Sidney Grey’s Residence
New York City, New York
14 August 2016
In predictable fashion, my mother was filled with glee over me running back home and collapsing into her arms. I had been crying for days on end and she had been loving every moment of it for her own selfish reasons. Now, days later as I continued to be a complete and utter wreck, she was still gloating. Even as she held me, rubbing my back from the ease of her wheelchair…one that I had helped to put her in, I could feel the self-righteousness radiating off of her like a furnace. She couldn’t have been happier about what happened to me and it was painfully apparent.
Sidney held me back and looked into my eyes, just like she use to do when I was a child. “I knew you’d come running right back to me…you always do…and you always will.” She smiled, though it was hard to tell because her face was mostly frozen from the Botox injections she regularly received. Still, I could see that if she could, she would be grinning from ear to ear at my misfortune. My heathen lifestyle had led me to this and she delighted in it. “You should have listened to me Kenzi…you should have listened to your mother! I told you that those people only wanted to use you! I told you that those people only wanted you for what you could give them! Living that deplorable lifestyle with that Tina Hall person!” She narrowed her eyes, as much as she could, “Whoring yourself to other women…I told you that no good would come of that! This is what you get!”
Anger rose in me and it nearly bubbled over, but my grief kept it someone in check. I glared at her, choking down my anger as I did. “That’s really funny coming from you Mother…considering how you practically gave me to Jamilyn Cornett…or did you forget about that?”
Sidney gave me a dismissive wave of her hand, not wanting to admit that I was right as near as I could determine. “That Cornett woman duped us both. She made me think that she cared about you…I told her about your personality disorder and she said she could manage it. She loved you and you loved her…” She threw up her hands and gave a sigh of exasperation. “You were committed to being a lesbian…so…I let you find out the hard way!”
‘Find out the hard way?’ This was actually about as close as my shitty mother was ever going to come to admitting that she was wrong and telling me that she was sorry. I accepted it for what it really was. Sidney was upset that she had been played by Jamilyn as well. As for me…it was just a life lesson as far as she was concerned. Even for me, duped wasn’t really the right word. I really did love Jamilyn…even after she revealed to everyone that she had just wanted to emotionally rape me…all in the name of avenging Alex Yin. This, of course, rung hollow since I had never done anything but love Alex with every fiber of my being. I’d probably never know why Jamilyn really set her eyes on trying to destroy me, but either way, I was still here and that was all that really mattered. Instead of arguing the point, I stood up, eager to find Bobbi, my old bodyguard. “Where’s Bobbi?”
My mother folded her arms as she glared at me, “Is that it? You ran home to get Bobbi to protect you from Alexis Blake? I hope that’s not what you’re thinking!”
I rolled my eyes, it really wasn’t what I was thinking…but now that she mentioned it, it really wasn’t such a bad idea. I really wanted to tear Alexis’ head clean off her shoulders myself…but I wasn’t picky and I had no problem with allowing Bobbi to do it. Instead of admitting this, I turned to my mother folding my arms in return as I cocked my head to side and gave an exasperated sigh. “She’s my friend Mom! I’d like to see her…if that’s okay with you!” This wasn’t completely true. Bobbi was never really my friend, but she was useful to me in other more important ways. I wanted her to be useful to me again…if I could swing it.
My mother eyed me suspiciously, I knew she could see my wheels turning. She was always good at reading people…though I was tougher than most. She knew that I had an ulterior motive for asking after Bobbi. She shrugged her shoulder, giving a flippant reply, “Bobbi is around…probably eating…as usual, but you don’t need to worry about her. Bobbi has other things to worry about…namely getting rid of that stupid steroid freak Wolverina!”
Wolverina was the woman that had been giving my mother fits over the last several weeks. Though Bobbi had been able to deal with her handily, it was always at my mother’s direction and with her ‘assistance.’ Now, with Queen of the Ring looming, my mother had thrown down the gauntlet and challenged her to a ‘loser leaves LAW match.’ Looking at her, I could see that she was brimming with confidence. Bobbi was nearly 300 pounds and after two one on one encounters, Wolverina had been left beaten half to death…but…that hadn’t stopped her from getting back up and coming on stronger…it never did. This was my mother’s way of doing away with her for good. I nodded, trying to appear as though I was concerned, though I really wasn’t. “Well…I just wanted to say hello is all.”
Sidney chuckled and I knew that she was on to me, “Look…you went out of your way to hurt me and make me look like a fool when you turned your back on me. You and your nappy headed friend Brittany Williams derailed Bobbi’s chance in the tournament, so you have caused enough damage!” She wheeled her chair away from me, predictably heading towards the bar as she poured herself a drink. “You’ll have to deal with the mess you made with that man, Alexis Blake, on your own!”
I couldn’t help but to laugh at that. I had been the one to start referring to Alexis as a ‘man’ because of her enormous size. I was honestly happy that it was catching on. I pushed down my amusement as I folded my arms, “You think I can’t beat Alexis on my own? You think I need help?” I rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth, “I beat the number one contender for the LAW Title and I beat the current Marquee Champion! I’d beat Alexis Blake with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my fucking back!”
My mother laughed, nearly spitting out her drink, “REALLY?! That’s hilarious…seeing as how Keira Fisher nearly beat you to death…”
I interjected, “I was declared the winner…”
She continued, “…and you hit Mackenzie Roberts with a crutch!”
Again, I added, “…Alexis Blake brought the crutch to the ring!”
She gave a dismissive wave of my protests, “You have won exactly ZERO matches on your own honey. Don’t go getting big headed now because your little doggie got offed, okay?!”
Okay! This pissed me off! She could shit on me and my less-than-awesome in-ring skills, but invoking the memory of what happened to Dog was certainly not going to fly with me. I charged across the room, slapping the drink out of her hand as I leaned down and stared right back into her eyes, “DON’T YOU DARE!! DON’T YOU FUCKING EVER…UNDERSTAND ME?!!” My chest heaved up and down and my eyes were narrowed to deadly slits. She had likely never seen me this way before…the shock that registered on her face was momentary.
She pushed me backwards, nearly sending me tumbling over the coffee table and onto my ass. My mother might have been old, but she had the strength of 100 old ladies…assuming that is something that is suitably strong. Either way, my attempt at being intimidating ended with a whimper instead of a bang. “DON’T YOU DARE DO THAT AGAIN! I MIGHT BE IN A WHEELCHAIR BUT I’M STILL YOUR MOTHER AND I CAN STILL KICK YOUR ASS!” Of that, I really had little doubt. My mother was tough as old shoe leather and meaner than anyone I had ever met. Fighting was never something that anyone said Sidney Grey couldn’t do. “I suggest that you find a way to take care of Alexis Blake on your own! You need to grow up Ken…you need to stop wasting your life with pretending to be a lesbian just to spite me and stand on your own two feet like the woman I’ve been trying to raise!”
This actually did make me laugh out loud…and not the usual LOL Twitter variety. My mother was NEVER there for me when I was little and she didn’t raise me when she was there. Being branded as a ‘Rape Baby’ has never done anything for my ego, but still that was about as close as she came to being truly affectionate. I wasn’t going to allow this to pass…I wasn’t going to allow her to tell this lie to me or herself if she was stupid enough to believe it. “You have NEVER raised anything…least of all ME! You were never there mother! You were always off drinking and whoring…”
“Like you are now?” She cut me off, hitting me where it hurt.
It was true, I was I was repeating the sins that she had committed…but in truth, what else did I really know? “Well…I got it from you mom…so what do you think about that?!” She wanted to say something…she wanted to slap my face, but I wasn’t going to give her the chance to do either of those things. “I’m not perfect…I know that! People around me remind me every single day! Keira Fisher and Jenny Tuck hate me because they hate you! I gave them plenty of reasons since then…but once again…I got that from YOU!” I paced back and forth, just out of her reach. I rather enjoyed having her confined to a wheelchair. I wonder how different my life would have been had she been in that chair when I was younger? “I made my mistakes with Alex, Jamilyn, and maybe even Tina…” Adding in Tina probably wasn’t fair. Despite her failings, she was the best of the bunch because she loved me without conditions. Alex always wanted to change me…into what, I had no idea…maybe just a friend with benefits. Jamilyn just wanted to destroy me…maybe she just wanted to turn Alex out…she did that…so good for her. Tina accepted me for who I was and she stood by me when everyone else deserted me. For that alone I should have loved her more…but I didn’t…I just felt obligated to be with her. This was more a revelation in the moment than anything else. I didn’t dwell on it…I just continued after my mother. “…all the mistakes I ever made I did because you were always a shitty mother! Always a shitty person! I wanted you to stop being shitty…I wanted you to be my mother and show me how to be someone good…but you weren’t there then, like you aren’t here for me now!”
My mother glared at me, and it was a wicked and evil glare. She jabbed her finger at me cruelly, “You were always a wicked and ungrateful child! Fucked in the head since the day you were born! Why would I stay there?! I had a life to live of my own…I couldn’t do that with you always making a mess of things! You’re a destroyer Kenzi…that is what you are! You destroy everyone and everything that ever gets too close to you!” I was rattled by this and it showed on my face. My mother smelled blood in the water and she tore into me for the fool I was to show it. “That stupid little dog paid for getting close to you…just like Alex Yin and Jamilyn Cornett…believe me, they all wish that they had NEVER met you! And that big breasted Alcoholics Anonymous reject you’ve been living with…Tina Hall…she’s going to be destroyed by you as well! It’s what you do Kenzi Grey…it’s what you’ve always done!”
For this…I truly had no answer…because she was right. I didn’t destroy those closest to me. I slowly choked the life out of them like I did with Alex…or my unique brand of crazy drove them running into some sort of crazy of their own like I had done to Jamilyn. Tina was next…no matter how I tried to deny it. The difference was that Tina was a willing victim.
“Give me a chance to help you use that…” My mother snapped me out of my inner thoughts. “…if you’re going to hurt people…it might as well be the right people!”
I stared at her, with a stupid blank look on my face. Was I hearing her right? Did she want me to embrace the thing that she despised in me? The thing that she blamed for holding back her own career? In that moment, I saw my mother for who and what she really was. It had taken me over 20 years to see it…but there it was in living color…my future…and the future of anyone I was stupid enough to truly allow to get that close to me. She reached out her hand and I stepped back. The crunch of broken glass under foot. Seeing my hesitation, she started to speak again, but I had heard enough. I turned on my heel, breaking for the door. Coming here had been a mistake…I should have known that from the moment I arrived. I… “AWWW!”
“KENZI!! HOW ARE YAH MATE?!” I had run headlong into Bobbi and she lifted me off my feet in a massive embrace that was meant to be loving, but my spinal column begged to disagree. Thankfully she saw the pain and panic on my face and she put me down quickly. “SORRY MATE!! Just really ‘appy to see yah!”
I was happy to see her too, just not at the moment, and not like this. “Bobbi!” I growled as I pushed past her, charging to my room to collect my bags.
Bobbi followed me, a look obvious concern on her face. “Mate…you alright? You look mad as a cut snake.”
Her Aussie slang was usually as confusing as her accent, but I got her meaning instantly. I was powerfully angry at the moment. I continued stuffing my suitcase. “Bobbi, I can’t stay here with that woman…I’ll kill her and then you’ll have to kill me!”
Bobbi looked back at the door, to make sure that Sidney wasn’t wheeling up, then she turned back to me. “Aye, yer mum is a bit of a nutter, but that’s a bit far mate. Maybe you can just talk to…”
I spun around, pointing my finger up at the massive woman, “Do yourself a favor Bobbi…get away from Sidney before she poisons you like she did to me! It will do you a world of good!” I slammed the suitcase closed and yanked it off the bed, carrying it out.
As I walked past the living room my mother was there leering at me, but didn’t move to stop me. “GO! RUN BACK TO YOUR LESBIAN LOVER! YOU’LL HAVE HER DESTROYED AND HATING YOU JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SOON!! MARK MY WORDS!!”
I walked out, slamming the door behind me, huffing and puffing as I tried to collect myself. I was actually madder than a ‘cut snake’ as Bobbi had put it…but there was something else as well. While what my mother had said had set me off…she wasn’t completely wrong either…about a great many things…
Tina Hall’s Residence
Los Angeles, California
15 August 2016
When I came back home, the words of my mother were still ringing in my ears. I was nothing more than a ‘destroyer.’ I had ruined things with Alex Yin, Jamilyn Cornett, and even Dog had paid a price for being near me. She said that Tina was next on that list…the next one that I would eventually find a way to destroy. I tried to push her words to the back of my mind…I tried to tell myself that I wasn’t what she said I was, but I knew I was lying to myself. It was only a matter of time before something broke…it always did.
I cared about Tina…but I wasn’t in love with her…not like she loved me. She had stood by me through the drama I had with Jamilyn…she didn’t judge me and she refused to leave me. I cried and I yelled as I tried to drive her away, but she always came back and she always stood by me. I felt obligated to stay with her…to find a way to love her the way she deserved to be loved. I played my part and I said and did all the right things…it was easy for me to do, I just did what Alex and Jamilyn did to me. I played my part expertly and it didn’t feel wrong because I truly wanted to see her happy…but I didn’t feel happy or whatever passed for happy.
Maybe it was still the idea that in time, as things progressed further, I’d completely destroy her…or maybe it was just the fact that for all the attention she showed me, I never felt it was enough and I felt I deserved more. Perhaps the latter did play its part. My world had been expanded with the addition of many new friends…most all from outside of LAW. Cass Baumer, Melissa Reeves, Katie Anderson, Missy, Sabrina Ramirez, and Nina Stokes. They were all in relationships and they were all over the moon happy with their partners. I was right in the middle of it all with them…talking about my love for Tina and trying my best to do what they were doing, but I was really just going through the motions.
I wasn’t even back 24 hours when I made up my mind that things had to change…for Tina’s sake, but mainly for my own. There were probably a hundred different ways that I could have done it…but I picked the stupidest way possible…I slept with the ex-boyfriend of Kate Bass. To be sure, it wasn’t completely out of the blue. This had been something that was a long time coming. Parker VanPeters had been casually flirting with me for weeks, but I always rejected his advances…telling him about my love for Tina or his own closeness to Casa De Kami and specifically Jamilyn Cornett. They were all just excuses, why lie, I was intrigued. He was handsome, funny, and gentle when it called for it.
I told Tina that I had to re-shoot some scenes for my show, but that was an out and out lie. I was going to see Parker that night. He had been through some relationship problems of his own and he was also feeling confused and out of sorts with everything going on around him…constantly being in love triangles can have an effect on you. I told myself that I would just console him, but I knew that I was going to do a lot more than that even as I left. I could tell by the look on Tina’s face and the sound of her voice that she already suspected what was happening.
After seeing him and talking about our problems, I thought that I might chicken out…but I turned out to be the aggressor after all. I had never been with a man before, so this was quite a different experience…maybe a bit more painful than I would have liked…but to be honest, I felt I deserved it for what I was doing. I had planned to spend more than a few days with Parker, but as soon as it was over I realized how much things needed to change for me now. I felt crappy…or at least I should have for getting what I wanted from him and then running off and leaving him as others in his life had recently done, but it couldn’t be helped. I couldn’t stay with him one more minute with the new knowledge inside me of how much different my life could and would be now. Parker had given me a taste of what it was like to have someone be there for me in ways that Tina just had and could not. It was selfish…but I’m a selfish person, I know that now.
I headed back ‘home’ as I communicated with my new circle of friends…giving them all varied accounts of what I had done and why I had done it. To a person, they had all made it clear that what I had done was certainly not good, but I needed to tell Tina the truth. I knew what this meant…it meant that I would hurt her…AGAIN, but I rationalized it by saying that it wasn’t me, but my friends that had forced me to tell her. A stupid lie that I told to myself, but there was really no real reason for it. Hell, Cass threatened to tell Tina herself if I didn’t…of course I was going to…I just wanted to say that it wasn’t my choice.
In predictable fashion, Tina hit the roof. I had done it to her yet again…but what I didn’t expect was for her to do what I had done and run away. I thought she might yell and scream, maybe even kick the shit out of me…which I more than deserved. Instead, she pulled a Kenzi Grey and hit the road, sending me text after text about her drinking her pain away. I had forced her to relapse…hooray for Team Dumb Ass! While I wanted out of the relationship and I was desperate to do it as emphatically as possible, this was not something that I had prepared for.
I looked high and low for Tina…playing the frantic role as best I could. Amy Jo Smyth was the only person that knew Tina and had bothered to try to help. I had reached out to Roxi Johnson, knowing they were tight…but she was away and Keira couldn’t be bothered to find her for me. I was on the ‘Pay No Mind List’ with them, so I should have known better than to even ask…but frankly, I was curious what they would say. I’d have to wait since Amy Jo proved to be a much more affective negotiator than I had anticipated. She talked Tina into calming down and she brought the entire episode to a nice and fairly neat close…all things considered. I was finally free from the prison I had locked myself inside…though admittedly it was the softest and most beautiful place I could have ever been, but this was not the time for Tina and I to be together. My mother was right…in time, I would have destroyed her and it would have been much worse than any of this. For me…this was a kindness to Tina and maybe in time she would see that. I didn’t expect her to forgive me because I wasn’t planning on forgiving myself, but I really did wish her all the best. In my own way, I loved Tina, just not as well as she deserved. She’d get over this and she’d find someone better and I’d be jealous…it was the one emotion that I still felt keenly, but I’d be what amounted to happy for her…she deserved good things…and I was never going to be that…
Colts Neck, New Jersey
19 August 2016
Now…of all places, I find myself on the palatial estates of one Megan Helms-King and Amy Jo Smyth. Talk about a hell of a change! Yes, I skipped ahead a few days…sorry about that, it couldn’t be helped. Suffice to say, after things were over with Tina, I had no intention of continuing to live in her place…that was tacky, plus her sister was there…and for some strange reason I got the feeling that she really wanted to have sex with me. So…I was out of there and on my own, but if history has proven anything, I really don’t do too well on my own. It was a gross miscalculation on my part. I thought that I could manage my abandonment issues on my own…especially since I was the one that had done the abandoning this time around…but I was wrong…dead wrong!
It took less than 24 hours for me to become a stark raving mad rage demon and before I knew it, I was being hustled onto a plane and flown to New Jersey under the care of Amy Jo Smyth. To be honest, I was both excited and a little wary to be that close to her, especially after seeing how she had so skillfully talked Tina off the ledge. That meant that she was intuitive and I didn’t want her using her powers of deductive reasoning on me! Yes…I have issues, everyone knows that…but just how deep seeded they are is really only known to me. Dr. Steve hand touched on it, but I’d used Tina’s sister to distract him whenever he got close to really figuring me out.
Is my Borderline Personality Disorder real? Absolutely! Is it crippling? Well…maybe not so much as I have made it out to be. I had destroyed my relationships because I had felt too keenly and that pushed the ones I loved away. I held on too tight…and I crushed the life out of any chance I had ever had of really being happy with anyone. I knew that I did it…I saw it coming…but I was always powerless to stop it. This episode with Tina was the lone exception…but only because I got out before things got too deep. She loved me too much…and I didn’t love her enough. This situation had really changed things for me…it had all changed me in a very unexpected way…
I felt empty inside…almost hollow in a way. Maybe it was the combination of everything I had been through with Alex Yin, Jamilyn Cornett, and losing Dog…or maybe it was just me. It was like emotions had become a foreign concept. I remembered them…I just couldn’t figure out how to process them. I should have been devastated by what I did to Tina…but I wasn’t. I should have been ashamed of myself for cheating on her…but I wasn’t. I played at being sad and I played at being ashamed…I hoped I did it right, but for all I knew I was going about it all wrong. Could Amy Jo see that? Would she find out that I was really an emotionless black hole that was just spinning out of control and sucking the life out of all the people around me? I hoped not…because I was finally starting to see who I really was…and I think I was starting to like it…
On-Camera Promo
Streaming Live from New Jersey
20 August 2016
I set up my camera and plopped down in front of it, ready to do what we in the ‘business’ called a good old fashioned shoot. With my match against Alexis Blake just over one week away, it was time to start making sure that LAW had a sellout crowd and iPPV buys were through the roof. Nothing sold tickets like the promise of a blood bath…next Sunday…there would be blood…
“To be honest, I’m not even sure where to start with this. So much has happened and so much has changed in the last few days. Right now, all eyes are on LAW’s Queen of the Ring. I was really looking forward to it as well…I was looking forward to LAW finally giving me what they owed me…a Chaos Title opportunity! I mean…I had beaten the likes of Keira Fisher and Mackenzie Roberts. These women are the elites in the company, but like always…I find myself pushed to the back and relegated to midcard status…Ria told me that you people would do this to me, but I refused to listen.”
My thoughts turned to LAW 52 and my attempts to do what Megan Helms-King had asked me to. I needed to squash things with Alexis before I got what I deserved. I had tried to do things her way and for that, Dog had paid the price…but at least my eyes were open now…
“I stepped up and I did what was asked of me and I got rewarded with a dead puppy and a no holds barred match against a MAN! Well…while I haven’t forgotten about what LAW owes me, I have ZERO intention of allowing Alexis Blake to walk away without consequence for what she did and what she continues to do to me and the people I care about!
She had continued to say that what had happened to Dog was an accident, but I knew better. She saw me holding him and she just didn’t care. What she had done to him was enough, but she hadn’t stopped her attacks. She turned her attention to my friends and that really pissed me off. I think I liked being pissed…besides jealousy, it was the one emotion that I had little trouble processing…
“Blake…you really stepped on your dick when you hurt Dog…but you stepped on the damn balls as well when you had the nerve to go after Katie Anderson and Melissa Reeves! Your beef is with me and it will get settled on Sunday in Las Vegas! Now…I could go on and on about the match here and now, but you and I have a date to do that with CTN on eXposed, so I won’t go into any of that with you right here today. I just want you to be ready to get a mouthful when we have our interview together…and then I want you to be ready to have your big ass mouth filled with my fist come Queen of the Ring! I am going to hurt you Alexis…I don’t care what I have to do…there is no way you leave that arena in anything other than a goddamn ambulance!”
I would deal with Alexis next Sunday, but I had one more matter to address before I cut this thing short…
“Michelle Anxo and THE Sam Tolson! LAW might have screwed me out of the chance to be in the match for the Chaos Title…but I don’t want either of you to think that whomever wins won’t have to deal with me after QOTR! I earned my shot…everyone knows it and I know that the two of you know it as well! I hope you are both breathing a sigh of relief, because if you’re not…you should be! Watch what I do to Alexis Blake next Sunday just because I hate her guts…then I want you to think real hard on what you think I’ll do to get my hands on that Chaos Title! I earned my shot at it and LAW management decided that I wasn’t worthy…even after I played by the rules and beat their golden girls. Well…if playing by the rules gets me nothing…watch me start to play by my own rules and then prepare yourselves for me when I DO get my chance at that title! I am going to take what LAW owes me…and trust me when I tell you this…there aint a DAMN thing you or anyone else can do about it!