Post by Nova Sinclair on Nov 4, 2017 16:52:21 GMT -5
Sunday October 29th
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
CAMERA: OFF
What am I doing? Seriously, what could possibly be going through my mind right now to lead me to do what I’m about to do. This is exactly why I didn’t want to come back to Boston, because right now it’s just too painful in every way to be here. But I need to know. Call me crazy, but I have to be sure that what Roxy Cotton said in her promo isn’t true.
I manage to laugh out loud, rolling my eyes and shaking my head for a brief moment. Of course what she said isn’t true. This is Roxy Cotton we’re talking about. I shouldn’t be letting her get under my skin in any way, but if there is the slightest chance that what she said is the truth, well, I need to find out.
So here I am. Sitting in my rental just outside the apartment building where Preston lives. The same apartment building that up until a couple of months ago, I also called home. He’s home. That much is very clear to me, because his car is parked in his designated spot just a few spots down from where I’m parked. I grip the steering wheel, thinking my decision over carefully.
“Just leave, Nova.” I tell myself outloud as I try to persuade myself to get out of there. “Go return this rental car. Get on a plane to Nova Scotia and go see Declan. Go anywhere but here.” I can’t move. I’m frozen right where I am, no matter how many times I try to tell myself to get the hell out of here. This isn’t going to accomplish anything. Except maybe putting more stress on both me and Preston.
Just as I’m about to give in and leave, I glance up to see Preston walking directly towards my car. He must have spotted me from the window of his apartment, and he’s not going to give me a chance to leave. I take in a deep breath and step out of the car as he walks up to me.
“Nova?” He asks, surprised yet judging by his eyes lighting up, he’s happy to see me. “W-what are you doing here?”
I look away for a moment, wondering about the answer to that question. I mean, I know why I was here, but judging by his reaction to seeing me, it was all for nothing. “I just...No reason. It’s stupid. I’m sorry for bothering you. I...have to go.” I sputter out the words as I turn to get back in my car.
“Whoa, hold on.” He says, holding the door closed, but never once touching me. “What is this all about? Is...is this about your mother?”
I turn my head sharply to look at him, surprised. “Why would I be here about my mother?”
A smirk spreads across his face and he folds his arms. “Nova, I know about her and Jocelyn.” He stifles a laugh, if only for my sake.
“Ugh. Please don’t remind me about that crap.” I reply with a roll of my eyes. This time he doesn’t hold back a laugh, agitating me further.
“I’m sorry.” He says, dropping his hands to his sides. “I know that was all a bit of a shock to you and I understand why, but they are consenting adults, so…”
“So it’s still weird. And disgusting.” I quickly cut him off. I let out a sigh and look away again and a long pause falls between us. He’s still waiting for an answer as to why I’m here, but I can’t just blurt it out.
“Nova…” He says finally breaking the silence. I still can’t look at him. “Come on. Say something. You came here for a reason.”
I nod, still refusing to look at him. “Yes. I did.”
“Okay. So tell me what’s going on. You know you can trust--”
“What did Roxy tell you?” I blurt out, against my better judgement. The question takes him by surprise, and leaves him confused at the same time.
“Huh?” He stares at me for a moment. “Who the hell is Roxy?”
I close my eyes and bring my hands up, pulling at my hair. “I knew she was lying. Damn it. Just...forget I said anything. Bye, Preston.”
“Now hold on a minute!” He says, this time gently grabbing my arm and pulling me away from my car. He wants answers and I’m afraid I’m gonna have to give him the truth. “Tell me the truth, Nova. Who the hell is Roxy, and what does she have to do with you coming here to see me?”
I bite at my bottom lip and look up into his eyes. I don’t know why I’m so hesitant to tell him the truth, but I guess it’s now or never. We aren’t together anymore so it’s not like I’m cheating on him. “Alright, fine. Roxy is my opponent at the next LAW show. Roxy Cotton.”
He nods, still apparently clueless. “Ok. But what does she have to do with you being here?”
I look away for a moment, preparing myself for what I’m about to tell him. Just get this over with, Nova. “She’s just...trying to get under my skin. She aired her promo against me the other day, and she claimed she spoke to you and sent you a video of something, but I knew she was lying anyway. There’s no video. And she photoshopped some crap to make it look like she spoke to you.”
He raises an eyebrow. “A video? A video of what?? Nova, what the hell--”
“I slept with someone else! Alright, Preston?!” I blurt out, again, only this time it takes him even more by surprise. He stumbles back a few steps, staring at me with hurt in his eyes, but he’s left completely speechless. “Roxy said she had video of it, but she’s full of shit. I don’t even know how the hell she found out, but it doesn’t matter. It’s none of her business anyway.”
My thoughts wander away to Roxy Cotton and how low she attempted to stoop to in an effort to get under my skin, and I don’t even pay attention to Preston, or his reaction to hearing everything I’ve just said. He’s gripping his head and he turns around, unable to look at me as he finally breaks his silence and responds. “You...slept with someone else? Already? I...I can’t believe this.”
My eyes fall on the back of his head as he stands frozen in place, trying to process what I’ve just admitted to him. I let out a sigh and take a step forward, for a reason I don’t even know myself. “It’s nothing serious, Preston. I’m not in a relationship with the guy. And I’m not in a relationship with you, either. I’m sorry if this hurts you--”
“No, you’re not.” He looks to the ground and says quietly. He can’t even turn around and look at me, but it’s probably for the best. “You lied to me. You said you were only going to focus on your wrestling career and had no plans on finding someone else. You fucking lied to me!”
My jaw drops open. Preston rarely spoke to me like this, but I shouldn’t be surprised. “Look, I know you’re angry. And that’s fine. Be angry, but I didn’t go seeking out someone to sleep with! And I wasn’t expecting it to happen either. Declan and I are just friends, and even if we weren’t, it’s really none of your business.”
He laughs and shakes his head, and a few moments later, turns back around to face me. The expression on his face is no longer filled with hurt, but instead is now more angry and consumed with disgust. “What the hell are you doing, Nova? Seriously? This shit...this isn’t you!”
“How do you know that?!” I shout back, throwing my arms up in the air in frustration. “I’m trying to figure out who I am, Preston! You need to get past this whole vision you have of me, because I think it’s becoming very clear we want very different things in life. You just...you need to move on.”
His face falls, but as he thinks for a moment, I can almost see the lightbulb go on in his head. “Wait a second.” He says, taking a step forward. “Is this about what I think it’s about, Nova? Babe, you really need to talk to someone about everything that happened, because suddenly deciding that you--”
I point my index finger at him angrily, narrowing my eyes just as angry. “No! Don’t you dare try and go there, Preston! My choice in not wanting kids has nothing to do what happened!” I’m now furious. I take a step back, heading towards the driver’s side door of my car and reaching for the handle.
“You’re lying.” He says calmly, almost sure of himself. “You never talked about it, Nova! You just...shut down! And then you turned to wrestling. I tried to give you some time, but I really think you’ve had more than enough time. It’s been almost six years, Nova.”
“We’re done here.” I snap back, opening the car door. “I never should have come here in the first place. Move on, Preston. For your sake. Because I think after today it’s clear we just weren’t meant to be.”
“Nova, stop!” He shouts, trying to stop me from closing the door as I sit in the driver’s seat. “Babe, we’ve been through so much together. I’m trying to help you!”
I laugh and shake my head. “Stop trying to help me, Preston and just get over it! Nobody finds the love of their life at fourteen anyway.” The statement catches him off guard and his hand drops from the car door, giving me the opportunity I need to shut it. I roar the engine back to life a few seconds later and quickly back out of the parking space. Preston watches, brokenhearted once again, as I drive away. This time, hopefully for good.
I’m not upset. I’m not even angry. Not with Preston anyway. I’m more angry with myself for allowing myself to fall for Roxy’s lies, but if anything, it has made me more determined than I already was to beat her at LAW 72 on Sunday. And there will be plenty of time in the coming days to worry about Roxy. As for right now? I’m going to take Declan up on his offer and meet him in Nova Scotia.
Because it’s my life, and I’ll do what I want with it.
Friday November 3rd
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
CAMERA: OFF
What a week it has been. And what a week it will continue to be. It’s just just two days until I step into the ring against Roxy Cotton at LAW 72, and honestly, I can’t wait. I’ve had a lot to deal with this week, but right now...at this very moment...I’m focusing all of my energy into defeating her on Sunday. I found a gym not too far away from the hotel I’m staying at, and I’m using the time to clear my head of all of my personal stuff and trying to picture Roxy’s disgusting face in my mind while I throw a few punches.
Trying being the key word.
This is what I had hoped to avoid at all costs. I’ve been so determined to devote all of my time to my wrestling career, and accomplishing anything and everything I possibly can, but I guess that just wasn’t in the cards for me, was it? Then again, half of the crap I was dealing with this week was all Roxy Cotton’s fault anyway. Her and her pathetic lies and what it forced me to do in Boston.
The more I think about it, the faster and harder I strike the punching bag before me. I’ve already had a sparring session or two with completely strangers, but my training can’t end there. It won’t end there. I picture Roxy’s face glued to that punching bag and I unleash every ounce of pent up aggression right on my target. Just like I will do on Sunday night.
I can feel eyes boring into the back of my head, but I don’t care. I want nothing more than to give that woman a taste of her own medicine. I need nothing more. My war in LAW isn’t even with Roxy Cotton right now, but Sunday night it will be, because I plan to show her and everyone else that I’m not just the baby face sweet girl everyone makes me out to be.
I can feel the exhaustion setting in, but I try to fight through it. I keep punching the bag, imagining Roxy’s face, and I can feel myself starting to lose everything completely. After several minutes, I let out an exhausted and furious cry as I punch the bag with the last bit of energy I have before I collapse to the floor and start to cry. A gentleman runs over to me to check on me.
“Miss...are you okay?” He kneels down, placing his hand on my back. “I’m going to get an ambulan--”
“I’m...fine!” I bark at him, immediately looking to him apologetically. “I’m..sorry. I just got a little...carried away. I’m...okay.”
He doesn’t really believe me as he holds my arm and helps me back to my feet. “Are you sure? Because you really don’t look that well. Please just let me call someone to check you out.”
I shake my head. I’m drenched in sweat and I take in a few deep breaths, trying to lower my blood pressure. “That won’t be...necessary. But thank you. I just need...a cold shower. Really. I’m fine.” I grab my towel off the bench just a foot away, bringing it up to my head and wiping the sweat away.
“Okay. If you insist. But if you change your mind, just come find me.” He replies before walking away and heading back to whatever it was he was doing before I made a fool of myself.
Once they see that I’m okay, everyone returns to their workouts or their training sessions, giving me the opportunity to head back to the women’s locker room to clean up and take a shower. I’m starting to feel better already as I disappear inside, thankful the locker room is empty. I head over to the locker where I’ve placed my things and take out my clothes, and a fresh towel before heading towards the showers.
I take a longer shower than normal. Thirty minutes at least, but it could be longer as I don’t really pay attention to the time. After washing off, I just stand under the running hot water and attempt to get my mind to shut off, if only temporarily. Once I hear the locker room door open, I turn the water off, quickly dry myself off and cover myself with the towel before I go get dressed.
Once I head back to my locker, I take my duffel bag out, placing it on the bench next to me. As I’m about to zip it closed, I hear my phone ringing from inside, and I quickly start rummaging through everything, trying to find it. I locate it a few seconds later, checking to see who is calling me. I roll my eyes and let out a sigh as the screen lights up ‘Mom calling…’. I’m tempted to ignore the call and toss my phone back in my bag, but against my better judgement, I don’t.
“Hello.” I answer the call and say almost emotionless into the phone.
“Nova, honey. It’s so great to hear your voice. I’m so glad you answered.” My mother says, and I can hear the relief in her voice.
I shake my head, not that she can see it, and zip my duffel bag closed, staying in place on the bench as I let the call go on. “What do you need, Mother? I’ve got a lot of work to do over the next couple of days.”
“I know, sweetie. And the last thing I want to do is distract you from your training.” She replies.
“But..” I say, because I can sense where this is going.
“But we need to talk. And please don’t hang up on me.” She pleads with me.
I roll my eyes again, letting out a laugh. This is the last thing I want to be doing right now. “We don’t need to talk about anything, Mother.” I’m almost positive she wants to talk about her relationship with Jocelyn, but I don’t care about that. I don’t want to care about that, nor do I want to hear anything she has to say about it. To my surprise, that is not what she brings up.
“I know you’re thinking this is about Jocelyn and I, but it’s not, sweetie.” I shudder as she says the words. But I’m left slightly confused, until she continues. “Honey, Preston called me the other day…”
I let out a laugh and throw my free hand in the air. “Of course you did. And of course I should have known that’s what this was about. Don’t waste your breath, Mother. Preston and I are over. He needs to accept that, and honestly, you should be supporting me and not calling me for him to talk about this situation.”
“Nova, it’s not like that.” She quickly defends herself, and I stand up from the bench. “I am on your side, and I always will be. I’ll admit this breakup has hit him pretty hard, but I’m more worried about you, right now.”
“I broke up with him, remember?” I say, trying to keep my voice down as I don’t want complete strangers in the locker room to hear my business. “You have no reason to worry about me.”
“Are you sure?” She asks. “Who is this Declan guy, anyway? What are you doing, honey?”
I shake my head and laugh, taken completely aback by my mother’s questioning. “You’re kidding me, right, Mother? My entire life, you and Daddy let me make my own decisions and now you’re suddenly questioning them? Why?”
“I’m not questioning anything.” She backpedals and she knows it. “And you are free to make your own decisions, but I’m just trying to make sure that you’re being smart about all this. I never really had a reason to worry about you when you were a teenager because you made smart choices.”
I narrow my eyes and quickly grab my duffel bag from off the bench. “And I’m not making smart decisions now?!” I raise my voice a little, not caring about the stares I get a few moments later. “The only reason you didn’t have to worry about me is because I spent every waking moment with Preston after Daddy died.”
“That isn’t completely true.” She says and I roll my eyes. “I knew the type of young man Preston was when you met him, and I DID worry when you two first got involved. But then I saw how much you changed him, and he you.”
“So that IS what this is about?” I bark into the phone. “Trying to make me feel guilty about breaking up with him, and him being unable to accept that and move on? He doesn’t need me, Mother. He never has.”
“I’m not trying to guilt you into anything, Nova.” She replies calmly, and I’m pretty sure she’s telling the truth. “But the two of you have been through alot together so it’s only natural for him to take this pretty hard. But, honey, I do think you need to deal with things a little bit...differently. Better, perhaps.”
My jaw drops open and I stare ahead, confused. “I’m sorry, but what the hell are you talking about?” It was a question that I didn’t need to ask, because I’m fairly sure I knew what she meant. Too bad I wasn’t going to give her the chance to completely say it.
“You know what I’m talking about, Nova.” Her voice trails off and there is a long pause between the two of us. My nostrils are flaring and I’m waiting for her to continue. “Honey, you need to properly grieve. And not just for your father…”
“Stop!” I shout, and the women that were in the locker room quickly rush out the door leaving me completely alone. “I have grieved, but you and Preston just can’t accept that, can you?”
I can almost hear her shaking her head. “No, you haven’t, honey. Any time there have been trying times thrown your way, you run from them instead of facing them head on. I’ve seen it every single time for almost twenty-two years.”
“I can’t believe you right now. I really can’t.” I sling the strap of my duffel bag over my shoulder. I don’t know how I can make either of them see that they are wrong. “Look, just go back to living your life with Jocelyn and having whatever relationship you have with her. Quit trying to make me grieve over something that I’ve already dealt with, because it’s all in the past. End of story.”
“Nova…” She tries to speak again.
“This conversation is over. If you want to have any sort of relationship with me from this point on, you need to not bring up any of that ever again.” I start heading towards the door. “I really need to go.”
“Nove please don--”
I quickly end the call, silencing my phone and placing it into the back pocket of my jeans. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath as I reach for the handle. I immediately think about Declan, wishing nothing more than being able to spend time with him and have him clear my mind in only a way that he could.
’ And that I do so love Miss Nova Sinclair…’
The words replayed over in my head, and they shocked me just as much as they had when he first spoke them. This was all happening so fast, but I can’t deny that for some reason, I’m drawn to Declan Black. And nothing or nobody is going to make me feel wrong about wanting to spend time with him.
Saturday November 4th
Location: Nova’s Hotel Room-Cincinnati
CAMERA: Recording..
After I hit the record button on my laptop, I look into the camera, smiling brightly. I sit back in my chair and prepare to speak.
“In just over twenty-four hours, I’ll be stepping into the ring right here in Cincinnati, going up against a new, yet not so new, opponent. Another week, another hashtag Cool Kid. It’s all a little frustrating, but far be it from me to complain, because I take every opponent very seriously.”
I fold my arms, take in a deep breath and look upwards for a second, going over the thoughts in my head. A few moments later, I look down and back into the camera.
“But I don’t think I’ve taken anyone quite as seriously as I’m taking Roxy Cotton this week, because she is, perhaps, the most outspoken and vile woman I have ever faced. And it is because of her that I’ve chosen to do things a bit different this week in regards to my promo and my words directly to her.”
I lean forward a bit, staring directly into the camera as if I’m staring right into Roxy Cotton’s face.
“Hey, Roxy sweetie, I hope you’re watching. I hope, but I doubt you are because you claimed on Twitter just the other day that you didn’t watch my promo last week. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Roxy. Such a shame that you treat your opponents with such disrespect, but that is the least of my concerns right now. Right now, I’d like to set the record straight and clear up a few things, because unlike you, I DID watch your promo last week, and it was just oozing with false information. Not that it surprises me at all.”
I laugh and sit back in my chair once again, bringing my feet up and propping them up on the desk comfortably.
“You know, I knew that sooner or later, I would go up against an opponent that would stoop so low as to try and pull my personal life into our battle in an attempt to get to me. I expected it from someone like Maria Salvatore, considering we have more problems with each other than you and I, Roxy, but I guess I was just taken by surprise when you decided to cast the first stone, in a sense. Bravo, Roxy. Valiant attempt with all of that bullshit you were spouting off in your promo, but did you honestly expect that it would work?”
I shake my head and laugh again, smiling into the camera.
“Hate to burst your bubble, but it didn’t. But, I really do need to give you props for major creativity there. Or, wait. Maybe it’s not creativity. It actually wreaks more of pathetic desperation. I mean, who does that shit? Who actually goes so far as to photoshop a conversation that never even happened? Or, maybe it did, with someone you hired to change their display name to my ex’s, and then had them use a photoshopped picture to make it look like my ex. I mean, really. What was the point?”
I drop my feet down from the desk, leaning forward again and placing my elbows on the desk. I think for a moment and laugh, once again.
“Roxy, I don’t know what kind of drugs your smoking, or what kind of *air quotes* ‘glitter’ you’re snorting, but there isn’t any tape of Declan and I. Did I sleep with him? Yes. I’m not ashamed to admit it, but I don’t know where you get this idea that I somehow aired a tape of it actually happening, because I never did. Cameras might follow you around twenty-four seven, honey, but they don’t follow me around everywhere I go. So, however you found out really doesn’t matter at this point, but you trying to use my personal life against me? Well, that does matter, because that’s not something I take lightly.”
I run my hand through my messy long hair, and take in another deep breath. I’ve never been so fired up about any opponent. It’s the first, but it won’t be the last.
“I know you think you’re better than me, Roxy. Hell, you think you’re better than everyone, but what you did? The lies that you told last week? It all proves you’re not. And it all proves that you know that without cheap shots and tactics, you don’t stand a chance against me. I know you’ll try and deny it, and that’s fine. Go right ahead, but good luck convincing anyone. I never asked for this match against you, Roxy. I never wanted this match against you. Maybe not yet. But, I’m now glad they booked it, because any chance I get to knock a vulgar piece of trash such as yourself down a few notches, I’m going to take it and enjoy it.”
I take a few moments to gather my thoughts again, allowing myself to get more serious. The time for laughing at Roxy’s games is over. It’s time to focus on doing what needs to be done.
“You talk a big game, Roxy. Everyone knows it. You like to sit there and call everyone else a dog, but you’re just a bitch who a muzzle wouldn’t even be able to silence because you like to sound of your own voice or something, right? Now, normally, I don’t like to sit here and sling insults back and forth, because that’s not what matters in this profession. Some might think it is, but it one hundred percent is not. But I’m not slinging insults, Roxy. Am I? No, I’m sitting here speaking the truth, and I’ve got a lot of people backing me up and agreeing with me. You think you’re better than everyone. You think you’re better than me and that I don’t matter. Well guess what, honey?”
I lean in closer, giving the camera a close up view of my face, and the sheer determination in my eyes.
“You’re going to regret saying those words tomorrow night, because I WILL matter, and I will prove that I’m better than you. And not only that, I’ll prove just how lucky you are that your precious Chaos Championship isn’t on the line, because if it was? The referee would be handing it right over to me after our match, because I’m going to pin your shoulders to the match and look down at you and your look of disappointment, and I’m going to smile as the referee raises my hand in victory.”
I smile and lean back in the chair, folding my arms across my chest.
“But that title doesn’t matter to me, Roxy. Maybe not yet, so you can hold on to it for a little bit longer. Whatever helps you feel better about yourself at night. Because I don’t think you realize just how determined...how confident I am that I’m going to beat you tomorrow night. I admit, I’ve had some things going on behind the scenes the last few weeks and I haven’t made as much noise as I should, but that all changes right now. I know what I have to do, and I’m going to do it. And there’s nothing you can say or do that is going to change that, Roxy.”
I’m just about ready to wrap things up, but I’ve got one final warning to Roxy Cotton. I lean forward, narrowing my eyes and letting my nostrils flare, showing a not so nice side of me.
“And one more thing, Roxy. Stay the hell out of my personal business. Who I am or am not seeing outside of the wrestling ring is NONE of your business. You have a problem with me, that’s fine. But don’t go making up anymore bullshit lies or trying to slut shame me, because it’s my life. My business. I’m not ashamed of any decisions I make, no matter how hard you’re apparently going to make me try to be just that. I’m happy with my life and who I am. Which is more than you can say, right? After all, usually people who try to make others look or feel bad or like complete shit, are the real ones who feel pretty shitty about their own lifes.”
I shrug, not showing an ounce of caring at this point.
“It doesn’t really matter to me anymore, Roxy. I’ve said all I can say, and you can bet your ass that come tomorrow night, I’m going to do everything that I have to do to beat you. Think what you want. Say what you will. I don’t care. I’ll see you in the ring, honey. Buh-bye!”
I wave into the camera before closing my laptop and the scene fades out.
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
CAMERA: OFF
What am I doing? Seriously, what could possibly be going through my mind right now to lead me to do what I’m about to do. This is exactly why I didn’t want to come back to Boston, because right now it’s just too painful in every way to be here. But I need to know. Call me crazy, but I have to be sure that what Roxy Cotton said in her promo isn’t true.
I manage to laugh out loud, rolling my eyes and shaking my head for a brief moment. Of course what she said isn’t true. This is Roxy Cotton we’re talking about. I shouldn’t be letting her get under my skin in any way, but if there is the slightest chance that what she said is the truth, well, I need to find out.
So here I am. Sitting in my rental just outside the apartment building where Preston lives. The same apartment building that up until a couple of months ago, I also called home. He’s home. That much is very clear to me, because his car is parked in his designated spot just a few spots down from where I’m parked. I grip the steering wheel, thinking my decision over carefully.
“Just leave, Nova.” I tell myself outloud as I try to persuade myself to get out of there. “Go return this rental car. Get on a plane to Nova Scotia and go see Declan. Go anywhere but here.” I can’t move. I’m frozen right where I am, no matter how many times I try to tell myself to get the hell out of here. This isn’t going to accomplish anything. Except maybe putting more stress on both me and Preston.
Just as I’m about to give in and leave, I glance up to see Preston walking directly towards my car. He must have spotted me from the window of his apartment, and he’s not going to give me a chance to leave. I take in a deep breath and step out of the car as he walks up to me.
“Nova?” He asks, surprised yet judging by his eyes lighting up, he’s happy to see me. “W-what are you doing here?”
I look away for a moment, wondering about the answer to that question. I mean, I know why I was here, but judging by his reaction to seeing me, it was all for nothing. “I just...No reason. It’s stupid. I’m sorry for bothering you. I...have to go.” I sputter out the words as I turn to get back in my car.
“Whoa, hold on.” He says, holding the door closed, but never once touching me. “What is this all about? Is...is this about your mother?”
I turn my head sharply to look at him, surprised. “Why would I be here about my mother?”
A smirk spreads across his face and he folds his arms. “Nova, I know about her and Jocelyn.” He stifles a laugh, if only for my sake.
“Ugh. Please don’t remind me about that crap.” I reply with a roll of my eyes. This time he doesn’t hold back a laugh, agitating me further.
“I’m sorry.” He says, dropping his hands to his sides. “I know that was all a bit of a shock to you and I understand why, but they are consenting adults, so…”
“So it’s still weird. And disgusting.” I quickly cut him off. I let out a sigh and look away again and a long pause falls between us. He’s still waiting for an answer as to why I’m here, but I can’t just blurt it out.
“Nova…” He says finally breaking the silence. I still can’t look at him. “Come on. Say something. You came here for a reason.”
I nod, still refusing to look at him. “Yes. I did.”
“Okay. So tell me what’s going on. You know you can trust--”
“What did Roxy tell you?” I blurt out, against my better judgement. The question takes him by surprise, and leaves him confused at the same time.
“Huh?” He stares at me for a moment. “Who the hell is Roxy?”
I close my eyes and bring my hands up, pulling at my hair. “I knew she was lying. Damn it. Just...forget I said anything. Bye, Preston.”
“Now hold on a minute!” He says, this time gently grabbing my arm and pulling me away from my car. He wants answers and I’m afraid I’m gonna have to give him the truth. “Tell me the truth, Nova. Who the hell is Roxy, and what does she have to do with you coming here to see me?”
I bite at my bottom lip and look up into his eyes. I don’t know why I’m so hesitant to tell him the truth, but I guess it’s now or never. We aren’t together anymore so it’s not like I’m cheating on him. “Alright, fine. Roxy is my opponent at the next LAW show. Roxy Cotton.”
He nods, still apparently clueless. “Ok. But what does she have to do with you being here?”
I look away for a moment, preparing myself for what I’m about to tell him. Just get this over with, Nova. “She’s just...trying to get under my skin. She aired her promo against me the other day, and she claimed she spoke to you and sent you a video of something, but I knew she was lying anyway. There’s no video. And she photoshopped some crap to make it look like she spoke to you.”
He raises an eyebrow. “A video? A video of what?? Nova, what the hell--”
“I slept with someone else! Alright, Preston?!” I blurt out, again, only this time it takes him even more by surprise. He stumbles back a few steps, staring at me with hurt in his eyes, but he’s left completely speechless. “Roxy said she had video of it, but she’s full of shit. I don’t even know how the hell she found out, but it doesn’t matter. It’s none of her business anyway.”
My thoughts wander away to Roxy Cotton and how low she attempted to stoop to in an effort to get under my skin, and I don’t even pay attention to Preston, or his reaction to hearing everything I’ve just said. He’s gripping his head and he turns around, unable to look at me as he finally breaks his silence and responds. “You...slept with someone else? Already? I...I can’t believe this.”
My eyes fall on the back of his head as he stands frozen in place, trying to process what I’ve just admitted to him. I let out a sigh and take a step forward, for a reason I don’t even know myself. “It’s nothing serious, Preston. I’m not in a relationship with the guy. And I’m not in a relationship with you, either. I’m sorry if this hurts you--”
“No, you’re not.” He looks to the ground and says quietly. He can’t even turn around and look at me, but it’s probably for the best. “You lied to me. You said you were only going to focus on your wrestling career and had no plans on finding someone else. You fucking lied to me!”
My jaw drops open. Preston rarely spoke to me like this, but I shouldn’t be surprised. “Look, I know you’re angry. And that’s fine. Be angry, but I didn’t go seeking out someone to sleep with! And I wasn’t expecting it to happen either. Declan and I are just friends, and even if we weren’t, it’s really none of your business.”
He laughs and shakes his head, and a few moments later, turns back around to face me. The expression on his face is no longer filled with hurt, but instead is now more angry and consumed with disgust. “What the hell are you doing, Nova? Seriously? This shit...this isn’t you!”
“How do you know that?!” I shout back, throwing my arms up in the air in frustration. “I’m trying to figure out who I am, Preston! You need to get past this whole vision you have of me, because I think it’s becoming very clear we want very different things in life. You just...you need to move on.”
His face falls, but as he thinks for a moment, I can almost see the lightbulb go on in his head. “Wait a second.” He says, taking a step forward. “Is this about what I think it’s about, Nova? Babe, you really need to talk to someone about everything that happened, because suddenly deciding that you--”
I point my index finger at him angrily, narrowing my eyes just as angry. “No! Don’t you dare try and go there, Preston! My choice in not wanting kids has nothing to do what happened!” I’m now furious. I take a step back, heading towards the driver’s side door of my car and reaching for the handle.
“You’re lying.” He says calmly, almost sure of himself. “You never talked about it, Nova! You just...shut down! And then you turned to wrestling. I tried to give you some time, but I really think you’ve had more than enough time. It’s been almost six years, Nova.”
“We’re done here.” I snap back, opening the car door. “I never should have come here in the first place. Move on, Preston. For your sake. Because I think after today it’s clear we just weren’t meant to be.”
“Nova, stop!” He shouts, trying to stop me from closing the door as I sit in the driver’s seat. “Babe, we’ve been through so much together. I’m trying to help you!”
I laugh and shake my head. “Stop trying to help me, Preston and just get over it! Nobody finds the love of their life at fourteen anyway.” The statement catches him off guard and his hand drops from the car door, giving me the opportunity I need to shut it. I roar the engine back to life a few seconds later and quickly back out of the parking space. Preston watches, brokenhearted once again, as I drive away. This time, hopefully for good.
I’m not upset. I’m not even angry. Not with Preston anyway. I’m more angry with myself for allowing myself to fall for Roxy’s lies, but if anything, it has made me more determined than I already was to beat her at LAW 72 on Sunday. And there will be plenty of time in the coming days to worry about Roxy. As for right now? I’m going to take Declan up on his offer and meet him in Nova Scotia.
Because it’s my life, and I’ll do what I want with it.
Friday November 3rd
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
CAMERA: OFF
What a week it has been. And what a week it will continue to be. It’s just just two days until I step into the ring against Roxy Cotton at LAW 72, and honestly, I can’t wait. I’ve had a lot to deal with this week, but right now...at this very moment...I’m focusing all of my energy into defeating her on Sunday. I found a gym not too far away from the hotel I’m staying at, and I’m using the time to clear my head of all of my personal stuff and trying to picture Roxy’s disgusting face in my mind while I throw a few punches.
Trying being the key word.
This is what I had hoped to avoid at all costs. I’ve been so determined to devote all of my time to my wrestling career, and accomplishing anything and everything I possibly can, but I guess that just wasn’t in the cards for me, was it? Then again, half of the crap I was dealing with this week was all Roxy Cotton’s fault anyway. Her and her pathetic lies and what it forced me to do in Boston.
The more I think about it, the faster and harder I strike the punching bag before me. I’ve already had a sparring session or two with completely strangers, but my training can’t end there. It won’t end there. I picture Roxy’s face glued to that punching bag and I unleash every ounce of pent up aggression right on my target. Just like I will do on Sunday night.
I can feel eyes boring into the back of my head, but I don’t care. I want nothing more than to give that woman a taste of her own medicine. I need nothing more. My war in LAW isn’t even with Roxy Cotton right now, but Sunday night it will be, because I plan to show her and everyone else that I’m not just the baby face sweet girl everyone makes me out to be.
I can feel the exhaustion setting in, but I try to fight through it. I keep punching the bag, imagining Roxy’s face, and I can feel myself starting to lose everything completely. After several minutes, I let out an exhausted and furious cry as I punch the bag with the last bit of energy I have before I collapse to the floor and start to cry. A gentleman runs over to me to check on me.
“Miss...are you okay?” He kneels down, placing his hand on my back. “I’m going to get an ambulan--”
“I’m...fine!” I bark at him, immediately looking to him apologetically. “I’m..sorry. I just got a little...carried away. I’m...okay.”
He doesn’t really believe me as he holds my arm and helps me back to my feet. “Are you sure? Because you really don’t look that well. Please just let me call someone to check you out.”
I shake my head. I’m drenched in sweat and I take in a few deep breaths, trying to lower my blood pressure. “That won’t be...necessary. But thank you. I just need...a cold shower. Really. I’m fine.” I grab my towel off the bench just a foot away, bringing it up to my head and wiping the sweat away.
“Okay. If you insist. But if you change your mind, just come find me.” He replies before walking away and heading back to whatever it was he was doing before I made a fool of myself.
Once they see that I’m okay, everyone returns to their workouts or their training sessions, giving me the opportunity to head back to the women’s locker room to clean up and take a shower. I’m starting to feel better already as I disappear inside, thankful the locker room is empty. I head over to the locker where I’ve placed my things and take out my clothes, and a fresh towel before heading towards the showers.
I take a longer shower than normal. Thirty minutes at least, but it could be longer as I don’t really pay attention to the time. After washing off, I just stand under the running hot water and attempt to get my mind to shut off, if only temporarily. Once I hear the locker room door open, I turn the water off, quickly dry myself off and cover myself with the towel before I go get dressed.
Once I head back to my locker, I take my duffel bag out, placing it on the bench next to me. As I’m about to zip it closed, I hear my phone ringing from inside, and I quickly start rummaging through everything, trying to find it. I locate it a few seconds later, checking to see who is calling me. I roll my eyes and let out a sigh as the screen lights up ‘Mom calling…’. I’m tempted to ignore the call and toss my phone back in my bag, but against my better judgement, I don’t.
“Hello.” I answer the call and say almost emotionless into the phone.
“Nova, honey. It’s so great to hear your voice. I’m so glad you answered.” My mother says, and I can hear the relief in her voice.
I shake my head, not that she can see it, and zip my duffel bag closed, staying in place on the bench as I let the call go on. “What do you need, Mother? I’ve got a lot of work to do over the next couple of days.”
“I know, sweetie. And the last thing I want to do is distract you from your training.” She replies.
“But..” I say, because I can sense where this is going.
“But we need to talk. And please don’t hang up on me.” She pleads with me.
I roll my eyes again, letting out a laugh. This is the last thing I want to be doing right now. “We don’t need to talk about anything, Mother.” I’m almost positive she wants to talk about her relationship with Jocelyn, but I don’t care about that. I don’t want to care about that, nor do I want to hear anything she has to say about it. To my surprise, that is not what she brings up.
“I know you’re thinking this is about Jocelyn and I, but it’s not, sweetie.” I shudder as she says the words. But I’m left slightly confused, until she continues. “Honey, Preston called me the other day…”
I let out a laugh and throw my free hand in the air. “Of course you did. And of course I should have known that’s what this was about. Don’t waste your breath, Mother. Preston and I are over. He needs to accept that, and honestly, you should be supporting me and not calling me for him to talk about this situation.”
“Nova, it’s not like that.” She quickly defends herself, and I stand up from the bench. “I am on your side, and I always will be. I’ll admit this breakup has hit him pretty hard, but I’m more worried about you, right now.”
“I broke up with him, remember?” I say, trying to keep my voice down as I don’t want complete strangers in the locker room to hear my business. “You have no reason to worry about me.”
“Are you sure?” She asks. “Who is this Declan guy, anyway? What are you doing, honey?”
I shake my head and laugh, taken completely aback by my mother’s questioning. “You’re kidding me, right, Mother? My entire life, you and Daddy let me make my own decisions and now you’re suddenly questioning them? Why?”
“I’m not questioning anything.” She backpedals and she knows it. “And you are free to make your own decisions, but I’m just trying to make sure that you’re being smart about all this. I never really had a reason to worry about you when you were a teenager because you made smart choices.”
I narrow my eyes and quickly grab my duffel bag from off the bench. “And I’m not making smart decisions now?!” I raise my voice a little, not caring about the stares I get a few moments later. “The only reason you didn’t have to worry about me is because I spent every waking moment with Preston after Daddy died.”
“That isn’t completely true.” She says and I roll my eyes. “I knew the type of young man Preston was when you met him, and I DID worry when you two first got involved. But then I saw how much you changed him, and he you.”
“So that IS what this is about?” I bark into the phone. “Trying to make me feel guilty about breaking up with him, and him being unable to accept that and move on? He doesn’t need me, Mother. He never has.”
“I’m not trying to guilt you into anything, Nova.” She replies calmly, and I’m pretty sure she’s telling the truth. “But the two of you have been through alot together so it’s only natural for him to take this pretty hard. But, honey, I do think you need to deal with things a little bit...differently. Better, perhaps.”
My jaw drops open and I stare ahead, confused. “I’m sorry, but what the hell are you talking about?” It was a question that I didn’t need to ask, because I’m fairly sure I knew what she meant. Too bad I wasn’t going to give her the chance to completely say it.
“You know what I’m talking about, Nova.” Her voice trails off and there is a long pause between the two of us. My nostrils are flaring and I’m waiting for her to continue. “Honey, you need to properly grieve. And not just for your father…”
“Stop!” I shout, and the women that were in the locker room quickly rush out the door leaving me completely alone. “I have grieved, but you and Preston just can’t accept that, can you?”
I can almost hear her shaking her head. “No, you haven’t, honey. Any time there have been trying times thrown your way, you run from them instead of facing them head on. I’ve seen it every single time for almost twenty-two years.”
“I can’t believe you right now. I really can’t.” I sling the strap of my duffel bag over my shoulder. I don’t know how I can make either of them see that they are wrong. “Look, just go back to living your life with Jocelyn and having whatever relationship you have with her. Quit trying to make me grieve over something that I’ve already dealt with, because it’s all in the past. End of story.”
“Nova…” She tries to speak again.
“This conversation is over. If you want to have any sort of relationship with me from this point on, you need to not bring up any of that ever again.” I start heading towards the door. “I really need to go.”
“Nove please don--”
I quickly end the call, silencing my phone and placing it into the back pocket of my jeans. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath as I reach for the handle. I immediately think about Declan, wishing nothing more than being able to spend time with him and have him clear my mind in only a way that he could.
’ And that I do so love Miss Nova Sinclair…’
The words replayed over in my head, and they shocked me just as much as they had when he first spoke them. This was all happening so fast, but I can’t deny that for some reason, I’m drawn to Declan Black. And nothing or nobody is going to make me feel wrong about wanting to spend time with him.
Saturday November 4th
Location: Nova’s Hotel Room-Cincinnati
CAMERA: Recording..
After I hit the record button on my laptop, I look into the camera, smiling brightly. I sit back in my chair and prepare to speak.
“In just over twenty-four hours, I’ll be stepping into the ring right here in Cincinnati, going up against a new, yet not so new, opponent. Another week, another hashtag Cool Kid. It’s all a little frustrating, but far be it from me to complain, because I take every opponent very seriously.”
I fold my arms, take in a deep breath and look upwards for a second, going over the thoughts in my head. A few moments later, I look down and back into the camera.
“But I don’t think I’ve taken anyone quite as seriously as I’m taking Roxy Cotton this week, because she is, perhaps, the most outspoken and vile woman I have ever faced. And it is because of her that I’ve chosen to do things a bit different this week in regards to my promo and my words directly to her.”
I lean forward a bit, staring directly into the camera as if I’m staring right into Roxy Cotton’s face.
“Hey, Roxy sweetie, I hope you’re watching. I hope, but I doubt you are because you claimed on Twitter just the other day that you didn’t watch my promo last week. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Roxy. Such a shame that you treat your opponents with such disrespect, but that is the least of my concerns right now. Right now, I’d like to set the record straight and clear up a few things, because unlike you, I DID watch your promo last week, and it was just oozing with false information. Not that it surprises me at all.”
I laugh and sit back in my chair once again, bringing my feet up and propping them up on the desk comfortably.
“You know, I knew that sooner or later, I would go up against an opponent that would stoop so low as to try and pull my personal life into our battle in an attempt to get to me. I expected it from someone like Maria Salvatore, considering we have more problems with each other than you and I, Roxy, but I guess I was just taken by surprise when you decided to cast the first stone, in a sense. Bravo, Roxy. Valiant attempt with all of that bullshit you were spouting off in your promo, but did you honestly expect that it would work?”
I shake my head and laugh again, smiling into the camera.
“Hate to burst your bubble, but it didn’t. But, I really do need to give you props for major creativity there. Or, wait. Maybe it’s not creativity. It actually wreaks more of pathetic desperation. I mean, who does that shit? Who actually goes so far as to photoshop a conversation that never even happened? Or, maybe it did, with someone you hired to change their display name to my ex’s, and then had them use a photoshopped picture to make it look like my ex. I mean, really. What was the point?”
I drop my feet down from the desk, leaning forward again and placing my elbows on the desk. I think for a moment and laugh, once again.
“Roxy, I don’t know what kind of drugs your smoking, or what kind of *air quotes* ‘glitter’ you’re snorting, but there isn’t any tape of Declan and I. Did I sleep with him? Yes. I’m not ashamed to admit it, but I don’t know where you get this idea that I somehow aired a tape of it actually happening, because I never did. Cameras might follow you around twenty-four seven, honey, but they don’t follow me around everywhere I go. So, however you found out really doesn’t matter at this point, but you trying to use my personal life against me? Well, that does matter, because that’s not something I take lightly.”
I run my hand through my messy long hair, and take in another deep breath. I’ve never been so fired up about any opponent. It’s the first, but it won’t be the last.
“I know you think you’re better than me, Roxy. Hell, you think you’re better than everyone, but what you did? The lies that you told last week? It all proves you’re not. And it all proves that you know that without cheap shots and tactics, you don’t stand a chance against me. I know you’ll try and deny it, and that’s fine. Go right ahead, but good luck convincing anyone. I never asked for this match against you, Roxy. I never wanted this match against you. Maybe not yet. But, I’m now glad they booked it, because any chance I get to knock a vulgar piece of trash such as yourself down a few notches, I’m going to take it and enjoy it.”
I take a few moments to gather my thoughts again, allowing myself to get more serious. The time for laughing at Roxy’s games is over. It’s time to focus on doing what needs to be done.
“You talk a big game, Roxy. Everyone knows it. You like to sit there and call everyone else a dog, but you’re just a bitch who a muzzle wouldn’t even be able to silence because you like to sound of your own voice or something, right? Now, normally, I don’t like to sit here and sling insults back and forth, because that’s not what matters in this profession. Some might think it is, but it one hundred percent is not. But I’m not slinging insults, Roxy. Am I? No, I’m sitting here speaking the truth, and I’ve got a lot of people backing me up and agreeing with me. You think you’re better than everyone. You think you’re better than me and that I don’t matter. Well guess what, honey?”
I lean in closer, giving the camera a close up view of my face, and the sheer determination in my eyes.
“You’re going to regret saying those words tomorrow night, because I WILL matter, and I will prove that I’m better than you. And not only that, I’ll prove just how lucky you are that your precious Chaos Championship isn’t on the line, because if it was? The referee would be handing it right over to me after our match, because I’m going to pin your shoulders to the match and look down at you and your look of disappointment, and I’m going to smile as the referee raises my hand in victory.”
I smile and lean back in the chair, folding my arms across my chest.
“But that title doesn’t matter to me, Roxy. Maybe not yet, so you can hold on to it for a little bit longer. Whatever helps you feel better about yourself at night. Because I don’t think you realize just how determined...how confident I am that I’m going to beat you tomorrow night. I admit, I’ve had some things going on behind the scenes the last few weeks and I haven’t made as much noise as I should, but that all changes right now. I know what I have to do, and I’m going to do it. And there’s nothing you can say or do that is going to change that, Roxy.”
I’m just about ready to wrap things up, but I’ve got one final warning to Roxy Cotton. I lean forward, narrowing my eyes and letting my nostrils flare, showing a not so nice side of me.
“And one more thing, Roxy. Stay the hell out of my personal business. Who I am or am not seeing outside of the wrestling ring is NONE of your business. You have a problem with me, that’s fine. But don’t go making up anymore bullshit lies or trying to slut shame me, because it’s my life. My business. I’m not ashamed of any decisions I make, no matter how hard you’re apparently going to make me try to be just that. I’m happy with my life and who I am. Which is more than you can say, right? After all, usually people who try to make others look or feel bad or like complete shit, are the real ones who feel pretty shitty about their own lifes.”
I shrug, not showing an ounce of caring at this point.
“It doesn’t really matter to me anymore, Roxy. I’ve said all I can say, and you can bet your ass that come tomorrow night, I’m going to do everything that I have to do to beat you. Think what you want. Say what you will. I don’t care. I’ll see you in the ring, honey. Buh-bye!”
I wave into the camera before closing my laptop and the scene fades out.