Ignorance is bliss Feb 23, 2018 8:51:44 GMT -5
Post by Alicia Lukas on Feb 23, 2018 8:51:44 GMT -5
“The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.”
― Philip K. Dick
Prologue-The heart you don’t have.
It’s an intangible quality that can’t actually be measured. But it’s can be the deciding factor at those moments when you separate a champion from just a common professional wrestler. When you’re so sore that you can barely move, when you’re so out of breath you can’t function, those moments when every single fibre of your being is telling you to stay down but that one small spark inside just looks that pain and fear right in the eye and says…
I have that. I feel it everyday I wake up and I train. I run, I do weights, I get in the ring and roll with others. I spend time away from my fiance. Away from my kids. I do it because I love it and every moment of everyday that isn’t devoted to my family is devoted to this. That is heart, that is dedication. That is what a champion does.
I never realised I was different till I measured myself against contemporaries. I never thought my will was greater. I stand in the ring and my heart beats the same as everyone’s. But as I go through the same hell, the same pain I’m able to go longer, harder and better than anyone else. I used to stand in the ring and go at everyone there, never rolling out, never tagging out. I earned respect, I earned admiration. From a scared little girl. To a confident young woman…
And a champion….
New York City
5 Months Ago
Alicia sat waiting at the table in a beautiful little cafe in downtown manhattan. Her long hair usually tied back or left down was styled, curled and seemed to bob down her shoulders and back. Her face made up with a light makeup and a bright red lipstick, she took a deep breath fiddling through her bag before a hand pulled the chair across from her out. Alicia jumped but smiled wide seeing Michael slide down leaning on the table.
Michael Reynolds: Nice place, any reason why we’re meeting them here?. Anything I should know?...
Alicia shook her head from side to side before taking a deep breath, she went quiet and seemed to stare away at a random point on the wall. Michael raised his eyebrow looking over at it not seeing anything of note, his heart sank at her distance, a worry that he had done something to offend her. His hand drifted across touching hers lightly causing Alicia to jump ever so slightly. She had only ever done that once before. A few nights ago as Michael wrapped his arms around her after A nightmare. His hand pulled back, Alicia opened her mouth as if to say something but stopped looking horrified.
Alicia Lukas: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to….Look Michael I can call Ronnie and tell him not to worry about this. We can do it another time….
She shot him a smile, it was forced. He could tell instantly. Many had been fooled by Alicia’s smile before. A forced one she would put on to the world to hide what was behind it. But Michael knew, he figured it and her out very fast. He sighed and leaned in close away from the walls that had ears.
Michael Reynolds: Are you embarrassed by me?
Alicia Lukas: Emba-what?..NO!....
The joke caught her off guard, for a moment she believed him to be serious but as he shot her the boyish grin hidden behind his perfect cheekbones and bright eyes she relaxed and gave him a small smile, a real one this time. She swallowed hard and bit her bottom lip nervously.
Alicia Lukas: You don’t know what he’s like Michael. My ex. He will try and antagonise you, he will be rude and hide it in sarcasm. He’ll try and get you to say something or act irrational. He got Chris to flip, I lost my boys for 2 months. Travis had to be held back and he threatened to take them away….you don’t know what he….he’ll say things…
Michael raised an eyebrow and sat back with his arms folded over his chest, his confidence putting her at ease but not enough to match it. She took a sharp breath in again and shook her head.
Alicia Lukas: He’ll try and make me feel uncomfortable. And he’ll usually succeed. For years I smiled in the faces of my family and friends while he charmed them. And behind closed doors I lived a nightmare. That’s why I ran and now, well now because most people know what he is and his father has passed?....he doesn’t hide it...he still thinks I’m his….
Michael Reynolds: You cannot own someone Ali….
His voice was soft and calm, his eyes warm and loving.
Michael Reynolds: You can give yourself to someone, you can be with them and care, there is nothing he’ll be able to do or say to rattle me. He’s not impressive, he won’t be intimidating. Anyone who does to someone they “love” what he did to you is a scared insecure child. Begging for attention. Right or wrong.
She smiled again and reached forward squeezing his hands.
Alicia Lukas: I know I shouldn’t let him get to me. I’m 26 years old. I’ve travelled the world, I’ve survived this long…
Michael Reynolds: Survived?.
Michael scoffed and looked shocked and surprised.
Michael Reynolds: You’ve thrived. You went from a scared young woman trying to get away from a bad situation into a strong one capable of living up to her mistakes and her regrets head on without hiding. Ronnie was a mistake. The boys aren’t. And Ronnie won’t have a hold over them. And I’m honored to be able to meet them….
He smiled again, this time it was a huge full one that made Alicia light up, she leaned across the table kissing him slowly, their hands between them as many of the other customers looked over. As Alicia pulled back she sighed seeming to have calmed down. Her phone buzzed, she picked it up and took a deep breath in and out.
Alicia Lukas: That was his current...whatever she is. They’ll be here in about five minutes. Said they can’t stay too long, that’s code for “fuck you and your new guy”....
Michael Reynolds: Charming….
Alicia Lukas: It’s alright I don’t care. But thank you….you’ve made me feel better about all this...you brought me back from the brink….no one’s ever been able to do that before….
Michael Reynolds: That’s what happens when you find your other half Ali…
She blushed and cleared her throat before her phone buzzed again. She looked up towards the entrance looking right past Ronnie and his girlfriend to the boys as they ran towards their mother. Alicia grinned and seemed to forget all about Ronnie, Michael stood up and shot a small smile…..
But it had only just begun…..
Scene Two-The problems with reputations
“You know the problem with reputations?....”
Alicia laughs to herself and looks down at her hand wraps as she slowly pulls the pink and black strap up and around her wrist.
“They follow you around, like a bad smell. And sometimes they’re right. I mean sometimes a reputation is well earned and enjoyed. But sometimes they are so far off it doesn’t even come close to a reality that makes sense. See for the longest time people took what I said to be straight up arrogance. They believed that I meant no one could beat me. That I was the best and I thought all other women to be beneath me. But all that goes to prove is maybe men are right and we simply don’t listen cause the amount of times I have had to repeat myself is astonishing….”
“I want the best competition in the world. I want any woman I face to step up and be the best of the best. I want to drag women’s divisions and stand alone companies with me into the light. For too long professional wrestling has been littered with women who are or want to be something else. I mean sure there’s guys who are multi million dollar businessmen who want to be wrestlers for whatever reason, hell I’ve even seen a few male pornstars and MMA washouts and former actors. This is a bigger problem when it comes to us. I look around and I see people who want to be something else...Crystal included. She can say she’s a wrestler first and foremost but the truth is that she fails when it comes to dedication and heart….”
“I don’t want to be known as the best of the best when I’m facing a bunch of former actresses, popstars, pornstars and glamour models. I want to be known as the best for facing the best wrestlers in the world today. And a lot of them are in LAW. Gabby Camacho has ruled this place for so long and had matches against some of the best of the best. I may have been a bigger name in more places than Gabby but for sheer tenure and domination she had made LAW the house that Gabby built….”
“One day I would love to be in the ring with her. Now I’m not saying I could definitely beat her. But see that’s the whole thing, I don’t know if I can beat Gabby, I don’t even know if I can beat Crystal, for all her arrogant posturing and stupidity she is an incredible athlete. I don’t know if I can beat most of the roster and that is why I’m here, to find out and so far I have done very very well. My reputation precedes me. And as I said that is good and bad. Some true...some a lie…”
Alicia finishes her right hand and looks up with a sigh, her long hair tied back as the camera stays fixed. Alicia stayed looking away to the side not directly at the camera before grabbing the second wrap.
“I’ve gone over the bad and lies, the ones where I have been viewed as arrogant and above everyone. But what about the other side of it?. What about the view of who Alicia Lukas is?. And why I have risen so fast up the ranks of LAW?. It isn’t because I have sucked up to management, or because I can cross promote a movie or a TV show. It’s because people look at me as a legit threat. It’s because people see me and know where I came from and what I did. They know my life, my struggles. From everything that happened to me as a teenager before wrestling saved me, to my struggles coming back to the US from Japan and my title wins and championships….”
“They know who and what I am…”
“They know that I was born into a family that was once rich, they know my father was a pro wrestler who walked out when I was a kid. They know I have daddy issues. They know I was basically sold off to a piece of shit and had two kids to him before I was even 18. They know I saved myself, I followed my dreams. I went to Japan and I went from that stupid little southern moron Violet Maxwell to being the strong style southern belle Alicia Lukas.”
“I did it on my own. I clawed my way up from the ground. I fought with everything I am so when people say I take wrestling too serious what you all have to realise is that it literally saved my life. I fell into horrible traps when I came back from Japan. See there it was so simple. Travel here, have a match, go back to the dojo, train, repeat. No one cared who was sleeping with who, or who was dating who. I came back here and suddenly it was all about who I was with. I was single and suddenly had guys all over me like I was the last donut at the Goodman family reunion”.
“It was horrible….”
Alicia sighs and folds her arms over her chest.
“Everyone saw my personal life. So I get it, having that out there sucks. I wasn’t prepared for it. But one thing you can never question is my dedication to wrestling and what I do in that ring. But what about my opponent?. What about Crystal Hilton?. Crystal is the type of person that you never really know what she’s thinking or feeling. And no, don’t get excited Crystal it’s not because you’re a great actress cause truth is you’re trash at that. No you’re a good liar. You stood there and apologised to your friends in the Angels and you apologised for hurting friends and family. But is it really the first time?. You walk around with your head in the air with this aura around you. Basically the attitude people seem to believe I have is what you have….”
“Hell you said it yourself. I talk alot of shit right?. I say facts, I say things that are true and you just can’t accept it. You even backed up my words going on about being a multimedia personality and streaming video games. What did I say Crystal?...huh?”
“I told the world that you focused too much on that and not enough on wrestling. While you’re streaming video games and running your mouth and being the silver screen queen I’m in the gym busting my ass. I live wrestling, I breath wrestling, I eat, sleep and shit wrestling. But you?. You want to call me boastful while you bring up shit you did two years ago in trash companies like VWS that was owned by that dumb bitch Ana Valentine?. Really?. I boast about wrestling cause I am damn good at it. And you?. You’ve been wrestling since you were 17 right?. I mean that whole spiel about my tweets is what you wanted to bring up. Well damn Hilton, since you’ve been doing this since you were 17 I would have thought you’d have been better at it….”
“That was a joke…”
“See you’re not a bad wrestler Crystal, when you get in the ring and are focused you are damn dangerous. Your athleticism is above and beyond mine. I mean I’m good but there’s things you can do that I can’t. No I’m not calling into question how good you are. I didn’t do that with Kenzi and I won’t do that with you. I question your dedication and respect to this. I question how much you actually CARE about wrestling.”
“Everything I do is about being the best. Now I just had to break down everything and go on about it because of your little bullshit about Courtney and Sam. Courtney and I had a series of matches and she couldn’t beat me. Sam and I had a match that so many people viewed and had eyes on and we damn near killed each other, but the facts remain, Sam suddenly lost her titles and wasn’t the same after me and is now just starting to get momentum back while I kept my title in Honor...a title you came after but weren’t good enough to earn a match for. Now I didn’t want to bring that up Crystal but YOU opened the door.”
A small growl is heard under Alicia’s breath as her head snaps forward, she tries to calm herself down as she seems to pace back and forth like a caged animal.
“You want to stand there and call me two faced or say that I can’t make up my mind?. It’s not me being two faced because you’re too stupid to get the basic premise of what I have said about others and you. I said Kenzi was damn talented but unfocused...I beat her. I said Maki was talented but not at my level yet. I beat her. I said Sam was a great champion but the pressure was going to get to her and I was just as good as her since all she did was try and tear ME down. Just like I am telling you that you are a great wrestler with a shitty attitude and a missing dedication to all this….”
“I don’t know why I’m wasting my breath, I really don’t. You stood there and said I talked down to Kenzi. She thanked me for that match. She and I have talked since and are still great friends but you want to apparently stick up for her in your long winded promo while still putting in a little shot there about your past?. What a damn hero Crystal. Your anger is misdirected and your logic is stupid.”
“This is my first shot at gold in LAW. you take out all the personal issues, you take out the differences in lifestyle and what do we have?. Rising stars is a name that I already thought was apt. Because I am in LAW on the rise and you have been taking up a top spot for too long. I’m fighting to be the best and to prove it. And I already said I don’t know if I will beat you. I just know I can…”
“That is confidence...not arrogance....”
“That is pride, not conceit….”
“You want to get offended at things I have said to friends of yours or family?. Fine. You want to use that to get yourself all hyped up with fake motivation?. Fine. Hell you want to get all pissed off cause I laughed at your idiot fiance and Mercedes Vargas knows talent when she sees it then go right ahead. The FACT remains that you and I step into the ring this sunday at Rising stars in Nashville and shut me up. And part of me would LOVE it to happen. Cause again I want people to stand up, I want people to beat me. You learn more from losses and get better and Crystal I’m begging you...teach me something..show me something. Something more than what you’ve shown in your Marquee title reign, cause that belt and you deserve better but unfortunately…”
“I have no faith in you….”
“After hearing your words and realising everything I have ever said and done has been misconstrued by you and you’re just too ignorant to understand it, there’s no room in the new world for you. You adapt, you evolve, you nut up...or shut up. See you Sunday….”