Post by Miyoko Oshiro on May 20, 2015 1:58:48 GMT -5
The scene opens up with a frantic Skye Sparks and Kate Steele running down a sidewalk wearing their Chelsea FC gear.
Skye Sparks: I can’t believe we are late for the game.
Kate Steele: It’s not my fault, you are the one who took too long trying to pick out which kit you were going to wear.
Skye Sparks: I’m sorry that I’m such a great fan and own a ton of kits. It’s not like your shit directions helped in the slightest.
Kate Steele: I take responsibility for the directions, I should not have asked that homeless man which way to go, clearly his sense of direction sucks.
Skye Sparks: Fair, how much do you think we have missed at this point?
Kate Steele: I have to guess that we have missed most of the first half.
Skye Sparks: Damn, well the good news is we should only be a few blocks away from the bar.
Skye and Kate continue running down the street dodging people and running in front of traffic in hopes of not missing much more from the game they love so much. Both of them enter the bar which is filled with mostly Chelsea supporters. Both women are out of breath and Skye is able to utter a question between breaths.
Skye Sparks: How……much……did……..we………..miss…………..
Another Chelsea supporter turns to Skye
Supporter: Quite a bit actually. We are losing one to nil on a ninth minute goal by West Brom player, Saido Berahino and Cesc Fabregas got sent off at about the half hour mark.
Kate Steele: Jesus, what did Cesc do?
Supporter: During a stoppage in play he kicked a ball at either the ref or a pack of players. The replay wasn’t all that great to really show it. Either way he was shown straight red and sent off.
Skye Sparks: That’s terrible, I wonder what his problem is?
Supporter: I don’t know but it seems like he has been trying to get sent off quite a bit lately.
Skye Sparks: Good thing we have the league wrapped up, otherwise I would be really pissed.
Skye and Kate look around for a table and find one just as the whistle for halftime is blown on the TV.
Kate Steele: I can’t believe we missed the whole first half.
Skye Sparks: I don’t know. If it was as bad as that guy said it was we may have actually dodged a bullet with missing it.
Kate Steele: Good point, do you want anything to drink?
Skye Sparks: Yeah, get me a beer, I have a feeling I’ll be needing.
Kate comes back a few minutes later with two beers and two mixed drinks.
Kate Steele: Decided two drinks each might be better for right now, we might not have to get up during the second half.
Skye Sparks: Good decision on that Kate.
Kate Steele: Much better than my directions.
Skye nods and takes a drink of her beer and looks surprised.
Skye Sparks: This beer is really good, what is it?
Kate Steele: Schnitzengiggle it’s a beer from Colorado here in the United States but is based off an old German recipe.
Skye Sparks: That makes a lot of sense. I was skeptical that it was a fully American beer since most American beers taste like warm piss.
Kate Steele: Hey, I forgot to congratulate you on your win last week. I mean I know that it got reversed and you ended up walking out on the match but we all know that you are the true winner of the match.
Skye Sparks: Don’t say that Kate, Fujiko will probably end up seeing this and calling us idiots on twitter because that’s the only place you is able to run her mouth and know that she won’t get smacked in the face.
Kate Steele: Yeah, she is a total keyboard warrior. Who do you think wins that match this week?
Skye Sparks: Is she facing Oni?
Kate Steele: Yeah she is.
Skye Sparks: I really want to say that Oni wins it but she seems to have lost a little something over the last couple of months and at this point I think she is just kind of hanging onto the title by a thread. Unfortunately I think Fujiko wins the title pretty easily unless USA pulls some shenanigans.
Kate Steele: Good point, seems like all of USA is slipping at this point.
Skye Sparks: Kind of like Gerrard did last year and ended up costing Liverpool the league title.
Skye and Kate both laugh at this comment. When they stop the game is about ready to coming back from the break. Both women watch the screen for a few minutes and then Skye slams her purse on the ground.
Skye Sparks: Come on Courtois, you need to stop that penalty kick. Well Kate, from the little bit that I have seen I think that is about all she wrote on this game. Away to a team fighting to stay out of relegation zone and down a man. I think the best that we could hope for is a draw at this point and Hell I would even be okay with just getting a damn goal since we really haven’t been close at all.
Skye and Kate go back to drinking their drinks as the game progresses quickly. At the hour point of the match West Brom scores again and the bar starts to clear out a bit as Chelsea has gone down three-nil away.
Kate Steele: Look at all these bandwagon fans. I know that we are going to lose but you still stay and watch the end of the match no matter how bad it is.
Skye Sparks: I bet they are a bunch of ex United fans who jumped on the Chelsea bandwagon after we won Europe a few years ago and for sure after David Moyes destroyed United after Fergie retired. By the way we need to remember to send Moyes a gift basket for destroying United so thoroughly.
Kate Steele: I’ll call my dad later and have him send it since he is on that side of the world. It will save us money and it will arrive to him a little fresher, even with him managing in Spain at this point.
Skye Sparks: I’m really pissed that we are going to lose to West Brom but yet I’m happy to see Mourinho playing some youth players today. It gives me hope that maybe we can develop some players instead of just having to buy them.
Kate Steele: That will piss of the Arsenal fans. They won’t be able to call our team rent boys anymore.
Skye Sparks: They are just jealous that they can’t win anything besides the FA cup. If I remember correctly they haven’t won the league in the premier league era. They should probably just go and fire that old fogy Arsene Wenger.
Kate Steele: Good point too but I don’t want them to fire Wenger.
Skye Sparks: Why is that?
Kate Steele: Because if they fire him they might actually hire a manager who might be worth a shit and might actually start to improve the team instead of buying a bunch of fifteen year old French kids.
Skye Sparks: Good point, we don’t want that happening and having another London team besides Tottenham getting a big head because they are near the top the table.
Kate Steele: Man, I can’t stand Spurs fans. They have one good year and then they think that they just run the whole damn city.
Skye Sparks: It’s all going to be okay. Tottenham has a chance at making it to Europa next year and knowing them they will get knocked out in the group stage and bring shame to the Premier League once again.
Skye and Kate finish their drinks a few minutes after the end of the match.
Kate Steele: Well that was an absolutely miserable match. Probably the second worst performance of the season so far.
Skye Sparks: Good point, luckily we only have one more match so we can screw it up too badly and at least it will be home against Sunderland since it seems like we always play really crappy in Sunderland.
Kate Steele: Truer words have never been spoken. Let’s get out of here.
Skye Sparks: Okay.
Skye and Kate stand up and collect their belongings and head out the door as the scene fades to black.
I would like to congratulate myself on my performance a few weeks ago against the Fujiko Mine who for all of you that don’t remember was the number one contender for the Marquee title but decided to put it on the line for a shot at the World Championship against Oni and you know what, somehow Fujiko won. I know I’m as shocked as you all are. I can’t believe someone so talentless and worthless could get into position to win the most prestigious title in our business. My guess is that you probably gave Lucas Dupree some sexual favors since that’s the only skill you actually possess and that’s the reason he agreed to letting you put your title shot on the line to get a different title shot. It’s really the only thing that actually makes sense.
Now at this point I’m happy to be going for the new title in LAW, it would be a great honor to be the first ever Breakout Champion. All I have to do is get through sorry ass Keira Fisher who I’m really surprised is still in the company. Usually when someone is awful at their profession and she is they get released or fired or sacked or whatever you want to call it. After I get through sorry ass Keira Fisher I will end up in an elimination triple threat match against the winners of a match between Laura Amber Williams who I’m actually interested in seeing compete because I’ve heard good things about her from other feds that she has worked for. She will be taking on some new comer who’s name I won’t bother learning because if I was a betting girl I’m guessing she won’t stick around because she will realize that the competition in LAW is little too much for her. Did I mention she has blue hair? No I didn’t did I, well blue haired girl that no one actually cares about the 80’s called, and they want their hair style back.
In the other match that will determine who will end up in the triple threat match is some blonde bimbo from Russia because you know we don’t already have a bunch of those in other sports or on TV. This chick probably actually thinks that she will scare me by saying that she is Ultra-Violent. Listen here Russian stereotype number four being ultra-violent isn’t going to do you much in a match like this. If you do something outside the rules in your first match you will get disqualified and will lose the match and have no chance at winning the title. If you bull that crap in the triple threat match you will get DQ’d too and thrown out of the match and then you will make it that much easier for me to go out and do my thing and win the match. You know what, I would be perfectly okay with you getting yourself ejected from the triple threat match. It would make the match so much easier for me. In the first round match up blonde haired vodka drinker will take on little miss “Mommy picked on me so I became Goth and edgy and I hate the world girl named Mary.”
Now from what I gathered you seem to enjoy the sight of blood and you know what good for you, whatever floats your boat and to each her own. Now however I have a modeling career so I ask you nicely please don’t make me bleed and ruin my career. If you do that I might be forced to end your already miserable life. Now if you want to see blood so much just go ahead and start cutting yourself and remember the little trick that I picked up from people in my lift.
Skye makes a motion across her wrist and then down her forearm towards her elbow.
Remember Bloody Mary, it’s down the road, not across the street. To be honest at this point I don’t really know who I want to face between the four from the other two matches and quite honestly I don’t really care who it is either because I know that I have the skills and tools to beat anyone at any time. I mean look at the last show, I beat Fujiko and then got screwed out the match by the referee. I guess I could get special treatment from management and referees if I wanted to spend some time on my knees too. You see I could never get myself to do that, I’m a classy lady and I want to earn everything that I get in this company instead blowing my way to the top like Fujiko did and before you take to twitter to blast me again maybe you should focus on your match and not about me. You see I plan on winning the Breakout championship and after that Fujiko if you are able to win your match I’ll have my sights set on you and I think that I have earned it since I beat you last week no matter what the referee said.
Now I want to give all of my opponents and potential opponents a little history of me with titles. I won the tag team titles with Zelda Knite and destroyed everyone who faced us to the point that we ran out of challengers and then basically handed them off to whoever ended up winning them so Zelda and I could go and focus on other things. Now I plan on having a reign like that again. I want to destroy and completely humiliate everyone who challenges me for my soon to be Breakout Championship and I won’t give up that title until I have to and that won’t be until I have my chance at the LAW Championship.
Now Keira I know that you are the true underdog in this match, the woman who couldn’t win a match if Roxi’s life depended on it. Don’t let it get you down every organization needs someone to make everyone else look better. Football has Queens Park Rangers, the NFL has the New York Jets and Oakland Raiders and the world has the United States. Just think Keira, you get to associate yourself with the cream of the crap, the who’s who or shitty organizations. If I was you I would try and associate with anything that I can because to be honest with you in LAW no one wants associate with someone has awful as you with the exception of Roxi Johnson. I can’t think back to the beginning of LAW but marrying Roxi Johnson and me allowing you to face me again seems to be the only redeeming things to happen to you while in LAW. You better enjoy the cheers that you will get on Sunday night because they will probably be the last ones that you get for a while because even in the United States. People don’t like rooting for losers.
Now I’m putting Keira Fisher, Dazi, Laura, Nikita and Mary on notice. There is absolutely nothing wrong with losing to me. I’m simply the best wrestler in LAW and things are only going to get better for me from here on out. In fact when you guys get discouraged because you couldn’t be able to beat me and end up leaving for a company with inferior competition go ahead and put down on your resumes that you lost to me, it’s pretty much the wrestling equivalent to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Now come Sunday I will make the five of you bend the knee for your queen Skye Sparks. I know that Fujiko will probably get mad at me for pulling out another cliché but I like this one from the movie Dodgeball. I’m better than you, and I know it. See you bitches Sunday.
Skye Sparks: I can’t believe we are late for the game.
Kate Steele: It’s not my fault, you are the one who took too long trying to pick out which kit you were going to wear.
Skye Sparks: I’m sorry that I’m such a great fan and own a ton of kits. It’s not like your shit directions helped in the slightest.
Kate Steele: I take responsibility for the directions, I should not have asked that homeless man which way to go, clearly his sense of direction sucks.
Skye Sparks: Fair, how much do you think we have missed at this point?
Kate Steele: I have to guess that we have missed most of the first half.
Skye Sparks: Damn, well the good news is we should only be a few blocks away from the bar.
Skye and Kate continue running down the street dodging people and running in front of traffic in hopes of not missing much more from the game they love so much. Both of them enter the bar which is filled with mostly Chelsea supporters. Both women are out of breath and Skye is able to utter a question between breaths.
Skye Sparks: How……much……did……..we………..miss…………..
Another Chelsea supporter turns to Skye
Supporter: Quite a bit actually. We are losing one to nil on a ninth minute goal by West Brom player, Saido Berahino and Cesc Fabregas got sent off at about the half hour mark.
Kate Steele: Jesus, what did Cesc do?
Supporter: During a stoppage in play he kicked a ball at either the ref or a pack of players. The replay wasn’t all that great to really show it. Either way he was shown straight red and sent off.
Skye Sparks: That’s terrible, I wonder what his problem is?
Supporter: I don’t know but it seems like he has been trying to get sent off quite a bit lately.
Skye Sparks: Good thing we have the league wrapped up, otherwise I would be really pissed.
Skye and Kate look around for a table and find one just as the whistle for halftime is blown on the TV.
Kate Steele: I can’t believe we missed the whole first half.
Skye Sparks: I don’t know. If it was as bad as that guy said it was we may have actually dodged a bullet with missing it.
Kate Steele: Good point, do you want anything to drink?
Skye Sparks: Yeah, get me a beer, I have a feeling I’ll be needing.
Kate comes back a few minutes later with two beers and two mixed drinks.
Kate Steele: Decided two drinks each might be better for right now, we might not have to get up during the second half.
Skye Sparks: Good decision on that Kate.
Kate Steele: Much better than my directions.
Skye nods and takes a drink of her beer and looks surprised.
Skye Sparks: This beer is really good, what is it?
Kate Steele: Schnitzengiggle it’s a beer from Colorado here in the United States but is based off an old German recipe.
Skye Sparks: That makes a lot of sense. I was skeptical that it was a fully American beer since most American beers taste like warm piss.
Kate Steele: Hey, I forgot to congratulate you on your win last week. I mean I know that it got reversed and you ended up walking out on the match but we all know that you are the true winner of the match.
Skye Sparks: Don’t say that Kate, Fujiko will probably end up seeing this and calling us idiots on twitter because that’s the only place you is able to run her mouth and know that she won’t get smacked in the face.
Kate Steele: Yeah, she is a total keyboard warrior. Who do you think wins that match this week?
Skye Sparks: Is she facing Oni?
Kate Steele: Yeah she is.
Skye Sparks: I really want to say that Oni wins it but she seems to have lost a little something over the last couple of months and at this point I think she is just kind of hanging onto the title by a thread. Unfortunately I think Fujiko wins the title pretty easily unless USA pulls some shenanigans.
Kate Steele: Good point, seems like all of USA is slipping at this point.
Skye Sparks: Kind of like Gerrard did last year and ended up costing Liverpool the league title.
Skye and Kate both laugh at this comment. When they stop the game is about ready to coming back from the break. Both women watch the screen for a few minutes and then Skye slams her purse on the ground.
Skye Sparks: Come on Courtois, you need to stop that penalty kick. Well Kate, from the little bit that I have seen I think that is about all she wrote on this game. Away to a team fighting to stay out of relegation zone and down a man. I think the best that we could hope for is a draw at this point and Hell I would even be okay with just getting a damn goal since we really haven’t been close at all.
Skye and Kate go back to drinking their drinks as the game progresses quickly. At the hour point of the match West Brom scores again and the bar starts to clear out a bit as Chelsea has gone down three-nil away.
Kate Steele: Look at all these bandwagon fans. I know that we are going to lose but you still stay and watch the end of the match no matter how bad it is.
Skye Sparks: I bet they are a bunch of ex United fans who jumped on the Chelsea bandwagon after we won Europe a few years ago and for sure after David Moyes destroyed United after Fergie retired. By the way we need to remember to send Moyes a gift basket for destroying United so thoroughly.
Kate Steele: I’ll call my dad later and have him send it since he is on that side of the world. It will save us money and it will arrive to him a little fresher, even with him managing in Spain at this point.
Skye Sparks: I’m really pissed that we are going to lose to West Brom but yet I’m happy to see Mourinho playing some youth players today. It gives me hope that maybe we can develop some players instead of just having to buy them.
Kate Steele: That will piss of the Arsenal fans. They won’t be able to call our team rent boys anymore.
Skye Sparks: They are just jealous that they can’t win anything besides the FA cup. If I remember correctly they haven’t won the league in the premier league era. They should probably just go and fire that old fogy Arsene Wenger.
Kate Steele: Good point too but I don’t want them to fire Wenger.
Skye Sparks: Why is that?
Kate Steele: Because if they fire him they might actually hire a manager who might be worth a shit and might actually start to improve the team instead of buying a bunch of fifteen year old French kids.
Skye Sparks: Good point, we don’t want that happening and having another London team besides Tottenham getting a big head because they are near the top the table.
Kate Steele: Man, I can’t stand Spurs fans. They have one good year and then they think that they just run the whole damn city.
Skye Sparks: It’s all going to be okay. Tottenham has a chance at making it to Europa next year and knowing them they will get knocked out in the group stage and bring shame to the Premier League once again.
Skye and Kate finish their drinks a few minutes after the end of the match.
Kate Steele: Well that was an absolutely miserable match. Probably the second worst performance of the season so far.
Skye Sparks: Good point, luckily we only have one more match so we can screw it up too badly and at least it will be home against Sunderland since it seems like we always play really crappy in Sunderland.
Kate Steele: Truer words have never been spoken. Let’s get out of here.
Skye Sparks: Okay.
Skye and Kate stand up and collect their belongings and head out the door as the scene fades to black.
I would like to congratulate myself on my performance a few weeks ago against the Fujiko Mine who for all of you that don’t remember was the number one contender for the Marquee title but decided to put it on the line for a shot at the World Championship against Oni and you know what, somehow Fujiko won. I know I’m as shocked as you all are. I can’t believe someone so talentless and worthless could get into position to win the most prestigious title in our business. My guess is that you probably gave Lucas Dupree some sexual favors since that’s the only skill you actually possess and that’s the reason he agreed to letting you put your title shot on the line to get a different title shot. It’s really the only thing that actually makes sense.
Now at this point I’m happy to be going for the new title in LAW, it would be a great honor to be the first ever Breakout Champion. All I have to do is get through sorry ass Keira Fisher who I’m really surprised is still in the company. Usually when someone is awful at their profession and she is they get released or fired or sacked or whatever you want to call it. After I get through sorry ass Keira Fisher I will end up in an elimination triple threat match against the winners of a match between Laura Amber Williams who I’m actually interested in seeing compete because I’ve heard good things about her from other feds that she has worked for. She will be taking on some new comer who’s name I won’t bother learning because if I was a betting girl I’m guessing she won’t stick around because she will realize that the competition in LAW is little too much for her. Did I mention she has blue hair? No I didn’t did I, well blue haired girl that no one actually cares about the 80’s called, and they want their hair style back.
In the other match that will determine who will end up in the triple threat match is some blonde bimbo from Russia because you know we don’t already have a bunch of those in other sports or on TV. This chick probably actually thinks that she will scare me by saying that she is Ultra-Violent. Listen here Russian stereotype number four being ultra-violent isn’t going to do you much in a match like this. If you do something outside the rules in your first match you will get disqualified and will lose the match and have no chance at winning the title. If you bull that crap in the triple threat match you will get DQ’d too and thrown out of the match and then you will make it that much easier for me to go out and do my thing and win the match. You know what, I would be perfectly okay with you getting yourself ejected from the triple threat match. It would make the match so much easier for me. In the first round match up blonde haired vodka drinker will take on little miss “Mommy picked on me so I became Goth and edgy and I hate the world girl named Mary.”
Now from what I gathered you seem to enjoy the sight of blood and you know what good for you, whatever floats your boat and to each her own. Now however I have a modeling career so I ask you nicely please don’t make me bleed and ruin my career. If you do that I might be forced to end your already miserable life. Now if you want to see blood so much just go ahead and start cutting yourself and remember the little trick that I picked up from people in my lift.
Skye makes a motion across her wrist and then down her forearm towards her elbow.
Remember Bloody Mary, it’s down the road, not across the street. To be honest at this point I don’t really know who I want to face between the four from the other two matches and quite honestly I don’t really care who it is either because I know that I have the skills and tools to beat anyone at any time. I mean look at the last show, I beat Fujiko and then got screwed out the match by the referee. I guess I could get special treatment from management and referees if I wanted to spend some time on my knees too. You see I could never get myself to do that, I’m a classy lady and I want to earn everything that I get in this company instead blowing my way to the top like Fujiko did and before you take to twitter to blast me again maybe you should focus on your match and not about me. You see I plan on winning the Breakout championship and after that Fujiko if you are able to win your match I’ll have my sights set on you and I think that I have earned it since I beat you last week no matter what the referee said.
Now I want to give all of my opponents and potential opponents a little history of me with titles. I won the tag team titles with Zelda Knite and destroyed everyone who faced us to the point that we ran out of challengers and then basically handed them off to whoever ended up winning them so Zelda and I could go and focus on other things. Now I plan on having a reign like that again. I want to destroy and completely humiliate everyone who challenges me for my soon to be Breakout Championship and I won’t give up that title until I have to and that won’t be until I have my chance at the LAW Championship.
Now Keira I know that you are the true underdog in this match, the woman who couldn’t win a match if Roxi’s life depended on it. Don’t let it get you down every organization needs someone to make everyone else look better. Football has Queens Park Rangers, the NFL has the New York Jets and Oakland Raiders and the world has the United States. Just think Keira, you get to associate yourself with the cream of the crap, the who’s who or shitty organizations. If I was you I would try and associate with anything that I can because to be honest with you in LAW no one wants associate with someone has awful as you with the exception of Roxi Johnson. I can’t think back to the beginning of LAW but marrying Roxi Johnson and me allowing you to face me again seems to be the only redeeming things to happen to you while in LAW. You better enjoy the cheers that you will get on Sunday night because they will probably be the last ones that you get for a while because even in the United States. People don’t like rooting for losers.
Now I’m putting Keira Fisher, Dazi, Laura, Nikita and Mary on notice. There is absolutely nothing wrong with losing to me. I’m simply the best wrestler in LAW and things are only going to get better for me from here on out. In fact when you guys get discouraged because you couldn’t be able to beat me and end up leaving for a company with inferior competition go ahead and put down on your resumes that you lost to me, it’s pretty much the wrestling equivalent to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Now come Sunday I will make the five of you bend the knee for your queen Skye Sparks. I know that Fujiko will probably get mad at me for pulling out another cliché but I like this one from the movie Dodgeball. I’m better than you, and I know it. See you bitches Sunday.