Post by Wendy & Fwiends on Feb 20, 2016 22:08:30 GMT -5
Legendary
(Off Camera)
We join the Fireshock Sisters as they are trapsing around a “Legends of Wrestling” convention in Manhattan, New York. Lightning had always been a fan of the old classic wrestling from the eighties and nineties, and was looking forward to meeting some of the men and women she idolized in her youth. Ignis, on the other hand, was something of a late bloomer when it came to wrestling, and was bored out of her mind.
“Can we leave already?” The Firebird said to her older sister. “I don’t think any of these washed up has-beens are anything special. The business has moved on, we’re the future, the stars of today. What do these so called ‘legends’ have to offer anymore, other than overpriced merchandise?”
“How about you show some damn respect.” Lightning retorted. “Without these guys, there wouldn’t BE a business for us to wrestle in today. They paved the way for us. Oooh, is that Geoff “The Beast”Styles? He used to eat turnbuckle pads. ...Maybe we shouldn’t talk to him.
“We shouldn’t be talking to any of these geriatrics.” Ignis rolled her eyes. “The sport has moved on Jess. It’s time you did too.”
“I’ll have you know--” Lightning started a comeback, but suddenly, they were cut off by some yelling in the distance.
“I DID NOT WORK MY ASS OFF FOR FOUR PLUS DECADES FROM ALL THE WAY TO SASKATOON TO SHANGHAI AND BACK, HAVE THOUSANDS OF CLASSIC MATCHES AND HELD DOZENS OF PRESTIGIOUS CHAMPIONSHIPS JUST SO SOMEONE LIKE YOU CAN CRITICIZE ME! I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I’VE BEEN BLEEDING BEFORE YOU WERE BORN AND I COULD STILL MAKE ANY WOMAN CRY BY A SINGLE KISS..EVEN THE FAT ONES LIKE THAT ONE!”
What was happening there was an elder gentlemen, yelling, face red as a tomato, standing up behind his desk that was loaded with pictures, action figures, posters and dvd collections his voice was so loud that it covered up about everything else under it without even asking for some space.
“So we have crazies here too apparently?” Ignis said. However, her sister was practically panting like a dog at this point.
“OHMIGOD!!! HARRY THE HAMMER STONE! HE’S LIKE MY FAVOURITE WRESTLER EVAR!!!” Jestine grabbed her sisters hand and dragged her over to where the aging lunatic was... apparently he was yelling at some little kid and his fatass mother.
As the two got close enough the fatass of the family was stepping up to Harry’s table.
“Look here buster! I have a genetic condition and..” She did not get a chance to finish when The Hammer slammed down on her again.
“YEAH YOU DO PORKER, IT’S CALLED EXCUSES OUT OF EVERY ORIFICE, I GOT A CURE FOR YOU THOUGH: PUT THE FUCKING FORK DOWN! I’VE BEEN BLEEDING FOR MY FANS SINCE BEFORE YOU HAD YOUR FIRST PERIOD AND IF I HAD MET YOU WHEN YOU WERE STILL YOUNG AND PRETTY I WOULD HAVE LET YOU GO 60 MINUTES WITH ME AND REALIZE WHAT A REAL STALLION IS ALL ABOUT! WOOOO!”
Porker gasps for her breath covering up her daughter’s ears “YOU! you are a disgusting old pervert! Stop that Don’t you care what kind of an example you are setting for the children in here?!”
Harry eyes at her, flashes a trademark beaming smile and states a often quoted phrase of his: “Hey baby, OLDEST ride..LONGEST LINE! If you had a chance for this ride you would not be so wound up, damn I don’t need any enhancements or pills I GOT EXPERIENCE AND SKILLS! Let me tell you something: IF your husband was here, he’d be right there with the rest of my fans BEGGING for me to sign his merchandise he would want a CHANCE to see a REAL MAN because the lord knows he can’t be one at home!”
While most of the fans seemed to get a kick over it the Porker was having none of it. “My..my husband left me after I had our daughter, he walked out on us..”
As usual Stone had a response for this too: “OHH I bet I know why? He was sick of yer naggin’ and woman! I DON’T BLAME HIM ONE BIT! You’ve ruined yourself and one day you will ruin that little missy too, turning her into a self-loathing, men hating, comfort eating wobbling whale of WOE IS ME that you are! Now if you don’t want me to sign a picture for your kid, if you don’t plan on buying anything...GET THE HELL OUT AND LET OTHERS HAVE THEIR TURN!”
The woman growled at him. “Like any self-respecting woman would give you the time of day... OW!”
The OW came as the fat pig was shoved aside by a delirious Lightning who practically dove over Harry’s table to give him a big cuddle. “OMG... HARRY STONE! You’re like my FAVOURITE WRESTLER EVER!!!” Which caused a large sigh from the Firebird, who followed sheepishly.
As the porker muttered to her daughter: “Come on sweetie, let’s go to McBurgers I’ll get you a meal and a toy..” Stone hollered after her: “YEAH! BALLOON HER UP JUST LIKE YOU AND IF YOU SEE THE IMMORAL HANK HOLMSTROM TELL HIM I SAID HI!”
Then when he felt like he had his piece The Hammer realized that he was still holding a rather attractive young lady. and his face lit up right away: “Listen darlin’ I don’t know where you met me. But I swear..I WAS going to call you, it’s just that your number was in my other suit and the dry cleaners totally ruined any paper so yeah..but if you need some of the love hammer, I’ll be done in a few hours and we could go for some drinks, maybe some dancin’ and ohh baby you know you’ll have a good time, right?”
“Actually...” Ignis piped up. “She doesn’t know you, and...”
“I’D LOVE TO GO FOR DRINKS!!!” LIghtning squeaked. “And... well, we’ve never met before, but I’m a wrestler too! You were like my idol as a kid! I’ve always wanted to meet you, and... wow... you’re body is so FIRM!”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” Ignis muttered under her breath for no-one in particular.
Obviously this flattery did not fall for deaf ears with Mr. Stone who had no problem getting his ego along anything else a fine young woman would like to stroke, he usually preferred his women with an empty head and a full chest..like most REAL men do anyway. Realizing that this was not another paternity suit he sighs with clear relief: “Woo..a fan huh? I always knew women had good taste but..Hey hold on there, what do you mean WERE your idol? Don’t you mean I STILL am? Look, name one other worker that has been part of as many legendary matches as me, hell name anyone who has had more success than me? You can’t do it can you, wanna know why it is? Because I HAMMERED THE HELL OUT OF THOSE LOSERS, WOOO!”
“Of... of course! You ARE my idol! I wanted to be just like you! Just... with less womanizing I guess...” Lightning giggled nervously. “This is my sister, Megan by the way. But we would LOVE to have drinks with you, talk wrestling and... well, whatever you want big guy!”
“I don’t even drink!” Ignis wailed.
“That’s cool, you can drive. Saves us money, right Harry?” Lightning beamed at the veteran. who immediately latched on to the notion sharp as a razor, still.
“Yeah Meg, that’s a perfect idea! Tell you what, let me close shop here real quick and we’ll get going..” He looked over at the cheap suit wearing man with glasses and what appeared to be a tennis racket, might have been squash, Harry didn’t really care for the difference: “Hey! Jimbo! I’m leaving for the day, tell the marks I’ll be back by noon tomorrow, going out to paint the town red with these perfect tens.. Woo!”
While he starts dancing his way out from behind the table with Lightning on one arm and a very reluctant Ignis on the other, the promoter walked up to him: “GODDAMN IT HARRY! DON’T DO THIS SHIT TO ME AGAIN! IF YOU WALK OUT OF THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW YOU WILL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME YOU PIECE OF DONKEY FUCKING SHIT!?!”
Without even looking back Harry yells out over his shoulder: “Go Fuck yourself Jimbo! I’ll be back by noon tomorrow, you know this place wouldn’t draw a dime even if robbed slot machines for a living with these curtain jerkers, You need me and The Hammer, ALWAYS gets paid!”
As she saw her sister gazing adoringly into the eyes of this obviously crazy old man, Ignis sighed once more. She knew her sister was insane, it was enough dealing with just her.
But spending the night with BOTH of these nuts? With them getting drunk?
If anything could ever turn the straight edge Firebird to the drink, this was it...
Kamikaze
(Off Camera)
Ignis poked her juice with the straw, bored out of her mind and slightly weirded out. Harry had been regaling the sisters with stories of his time on the road, and the Firebird couldn’t help but feel they were somewhat embellished. The Welsh Suplex Girl, however, was dreamily soaking in the tales, laughing and nodding and basically kissing his ass. Ignis wondered how a strong, independent woman like her sister, a storied and decorated wrestler in her own right, could become such a sissy fangirl.
“You’re so amazing, Harry!” Lightning squeaked. “You’ve had so many great adventures, I wish the sport was still like that. All I got so far was a shit marriage to a jumped up photographer who liked snapping women in various states of undress. But when I wanted to pose for Playboy? NOOOOO that was a dealbreaker. I’d look good in Playboy, wouldn’t I?”
Pounding down yet another Kamikaze, the Vodka filled drink Harry put an arm cozily around Lightning’s shoulder: “Oh of course it was, he didn’t want his squeeze to be ogled at by other guys, they say photographers have an eye for beauty but CLEARLY your boyfriend was just a pencil necked (and probably pencil-dicked too he thought without saying it) nerd who knew that if you ever got to Hefner’s mansion or to any publicity such shoots give out, you would trade him up for a real man, because men like that “boyfriend” of yours are just that..boys, even as husbands they are still pretty much the same scared boy who is more comfortable pretending to be a man, instead of being one..I’ve known men like that all my life, and their wives just LOVE to be treated like the queens they really are, they just need a KING to show them how it’s done first..”
This was the time when Ignis stopped poking her drink: “Oh like all your ex-wives then? Why did they leave if you were such a catch Harry?”
Her eyes could have pierced a lesser man but without even blinking Stone pulled Lightning in closer and fired back: “Because, Meg. My wives could never deal with the fame and success I had, I elevated them from nothing to being real queens and they got greedy, they wanted to tame me, make me some sort of a trophy husband who they could brag to their girlfriends about but not let me be a real man, I am a STUD among ponies, Megan..I can not be tamed by any woman. They never understood that, and that is why I chose my freedom over their selfish plans..just like your sister chose hers over a selfish, insecure, little nimwit.”
“DAMN RIGHT!” Lightning beamed. “They didn’t have the class and the style to handle a REAL MAN like Harry! He’s... A WRESTLING GOD!”
“OH BITCH YOU DIDN’T GO THERE!” Ignis squeaked! (She called herself that back in the day. And by back in the day I mean 2015)
“Babydoll, I am not just a wrestling god, as far as wrestling is concerned I AM GOD!” Harry howls out and holds up his hand. “BOY, more drinks for the ladies..another batch of Kamikazes and top off the..what was that you were having Meg?”
As the Firebird loaded up all the sarcasm she had in her voice, you could see it practically dripping from every word. “Juice, Harry. It’s NON-ALCOHOLIC, healthy and good for you too, you should try it sometime.”
Shaking his head Harry Morgan Stone just looked at Lightning beside him. “Oh I don’t need no damn kid vitamins, I get all the vitamins I need right here..B as in Beauty, C as in class, D as in Dedication and T as in Talent..”
Now Ignis was just sick of his shit. “There is no such thing as vitamin T you old goof, maybe you should cut down on the drink..”
He just laughed. “Oh yeah, I got all the energizer I need right here with me, Meg but no shame in having some drinks while we talk shop is there? I mean you’d learn a thing or two from this if you ever get in the business in the future.”
“But... I AM A WRESTLER! I’ve held titles, damnit! More than horse face over there...”
“HEY! I know you’re jealous of us, but there’s no need to be rude.” Lightning shook her head. “Don’t mind Meg. She’s kind of a prissy girl. She doesn’t recognize true greatness.”
While Harry was ready to say something a waiter showed up with another batch of Kamikaze’s for the two of them and elegant as ever The Hammer held up a glass, after offering one off to Lightning: “Here’s to ya Meg! For a one day successful career in the business shame you didn’t have the knowledge and respect that your sister has..because you could have made it a lot further before the years start to add up.”
“Add up? I’m five years younger than she is!!!” Megan squealed.
“Really? I would never have guessed based on your looks.” Harry said, rather matter of factly. “I mean, Jessie here doesn’t look a day over 21!”
“OMG I LOVE YOU!!!” Lightning squeaked, hugging him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
It was obvious to everyone but maybe Jessie herself that what she just heard had been a line Harry Stone had used for at least the aforementioned 21 years, and he leaned in to stroke her cheek. “Even that 21 one might be stretching it..I’d ask for you ID young lady, but you probably used your older sister's papers to get in here tonight, am I right?” He nodded over at Megan who was fuming by now.
“Er... sure, let’s go with that!” Lightning gawked. “It’s nice, after my marriage, to meet a man who knows how to treat a woman. You’re so dreamy!” She said, the moment slightly ruined by Megan sticking her finger in her throat and making and obnoxious choking noise.
It was not that Harry was ever mean to his fans on purpose (or at least he would not admit it) but of course if someone looking like Jess Leavenworth showed up and was basically everything you had in your prime except few decades later and a whole lot of pounds slimmer than any woman your own age, only a madman would resist it, and Harry Morgan Stone was a whole different kind of madman.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to the bathroom.” Ignis sighed, getting up from her chair. She went there, and wondered to herself ‘what did her sister see in this old fool?’ The cheesy pick up lines, not to mention the fact that he couldn’t be a day under 65... she knew she herself was the pretty one of the family... but still! No... it was just admiration. He was a childhood hero to her. That’s all it was. There were no... feelings there.
Ignis flushed the toilet and made her way back out to the main bar area. And there she saw it...
Harry Stone & Jestine Leavenworth making out.
What... the actual... fuck.
(Off Camera)
We join the Fireshock Sisters as they are trapsing around a “Legends of Wrestling” convention in Manhattan, New York. Lightning had always been a fan of the old classic wrestling from the eighties and nineties, and was looking forward to meeting some of the men and women she idolized in her youth. Ignis, on the other hand, was something of a late bloomer when it came to wrestling, and was bored out of her mind.
“Can we leave already?” The Firebird said to her older sister. “I don’t think any of these washed up has-beens are anything special. The business has moved on, we’re the future, the stars of today. What do these so called ‘legends’ have to offer anymore, other than overpriced merchandise?”
“How about you show some damn respect.” Lightning retorted. “Without these guys, there wouldn’t BE a business for us to wrestle in today. They paved the way for us. Oooh, is that Geoff “The Beast”Styles? He used to eat turnbuckle pads. ...Maybe we shouldn’t talk to him.
“We shouldn’t be talking to any of these geriatrics.” Ignis rolled her eyes. “The sport has moved on Jess. It’s time you did too.”
“I’ll have you know--” Lightning started a comeback, but suddenly, they were cut off by some yelling in the distance.
“I DID NOT WORK MY ASS OFF FOR FOUR PLUS DECADES FROM ALL THE WAY TO SASKATOON TO SHANGHAI AND BACK, HAVE THOUSANDS OF CLASSIC MATCHES AND HELD DOZENS OF PRESTIGIOUS CHAMPIONSHIPS JUST SO SOMEONE LIKE YOU CAN CRITICIZE ME! I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I’VE BEEN BLEEDING BEFORE YOU WERE BORN AND I COULD STILL MAKE ANY WOMAN CRY BY A SINGLE KISS..EVEN THE FAT ONES LIKE THAT ONE!”
What was happening there was an elder gentlemen, yelling, face red as a tomato, standing up behind his desk that was loaded with pictures, action figures, posters and dvd collections his voice was so loud that it covered up about everything else under it without even asking for some space.
“So we have crazies here too apparently?” Ignis said. However, her sister was practically panting like a dog at this point.
“OHMIGOD!!! HARRY THE HAMMER STONE! HE’S LIKE MY FAVOURITE WRESTLER EVAR!!!” Jestine grabbed her sisters hand and dragged her over to where the aging lunatic was... apparently he was yelling at some little kid and his fatass mother.
As the two got close enough the fatass of the family was stepping up to Harry’s table.
“Look here buster! I have a genetic condition and..” She did not get a chance to finish when The Hammer slammed down on her again.
“YEAH YOU DO PORKER, IT’S CALLED EXCUSES OUT OF EVERY ORIFICE, I GOT A CURE FOR YOU THOUGH: PUT THE FUCKING FORK DOWN! I’VE BEEN BLEEDING FOR MY FANS SINCE BEFORE YOU HAD YOUR FIRST PERIOD AND IF I HAD MET YOU WHEN YOU WERE STILL YOUNG AND PRETTY I WOULD HAVE LET YOU GO 60 MINUTES WITH ME AND REALIZE WHAT A REAL STALLION IS ALL ABOUT! WOOOO!”
Porker gasps for her breath covering up her daughter’s ears “YOU! you are a disgusting old pervert! Stop that Don’t you care what kind of an example you are setting for the children in here?!”
Harry eyes at her, flashes a trademark beaming smile and states a often quoted phrase of his: “Hey baby, OLDEST ride..LONGEST LINE! If you had a chance for this ride you would not be so wound up, damn I don’t need any enhancements or pills I GOT EXPERIENCE AND SKILLS! Let me tell you something: IF your husband was here, he’d be right there with the rest of my fans BEGGING for me to sign his merchandise he would want a CHANCE to see a REAL MAN because the lord knows he can’t be one at home!”
While most of the fans seemed to get a kick over it the Porker was having none of it. “My..my husband left me after I had our daughter, he walked out on us..”
As usual Stone had a response for this too: “OHH I bet I know why? He was sick of yer naggin’ and woman! I DON’T BLAME HIM ONE BIT! You’ve ruined yourself and one day you will ruin that little missy too, turning her into a self-loathing, men hating, comfort eating wobbling whale of WOE IS ME that you are! Now if you don’t want me to sign a picture for your kid, if you don’t plan on buying anything...GET THE HELL OUT AND LET OTHERS HAVE THEIR TURN!”
The woman growled at him. “Like any self-respecting woman would give you the time of day... OW!”
The OW came as the fat pig was shoved aside by a delirious Lightning who practically dove over Harry’s table to give him a big cuddle. “OMG... HARRY STONE! You’re like my FAVOURITE WRESTLER EVER!!!” Which caused a large sigh from the Firebird, who followed sheepishly.
As the porker muttered to her daughter: “Come on sweetie, let’s go to McBurgers I’ll get you a meal and a toy..” Stone hollered after her: “YEAH! BALLOON HER UP JUST LIKE YOU AND IF YOU SEE THE IMMORAL HANK HOLMSTROM TELL HIM I SAID HI!”
Then when he felt like he had his piece The Hammer realized that he was still holding a rather attractive young lady. and his face lit up right away: “Listen darlin’ I don’t know where you met me. But I swear..I WAS going to call you, it’s just that your number was in my other suit and the dry cleaners totally ruined any paper so yeah..but if you need some of the love hammer, I’ll be done in a few hours and we could go for some drinks, maybe some dancin’ and ohh baby you know you’ll have a good time, right?”
“Actually...” Ignis piped up. “She doesn’t know you, and...”
“I’D LOVE TO GO FOR DRINKS!!!” LIghtning squeaked. “And... well, we’ve never met before, but I’m a wrestler too! You were like my idol as a kid! I’ve always wanted to meet you, and... wow... you’re body is so FIRM!”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” Ignis muttered under her breath for no-one in particular.
Obviously this flattery did not fall for deaf ears with Mr. Stone who had no problem getting his ego along anything else a fine young woman would like to stroke, he usually preferred his women with an empty head and a full chest..like most REAL men do anyway. Realizing that this was not another paternity suit he sighs with clear relief: “Woo..a fan huh? I always knew women had good taste but..Hey hold on there, what do you mean WERE your idol? Don’t you mean I STILL am? Look, name one other worker that has been part of as many legendary matches as me, hell name anyone who has had more success than me? You can’t do it can you, wanna know why it is? Because I HAMMERED THE HELL OUT OF THOSE LOSERS, WOOO!”
“Of... of course! You ARE my idol! I wanted to be just like you! Just... with less womanizing I guess...” Lightning giggled nervously. “This is my sister, Megan by the way. But we would LOVE to have drinks with you, talk wrestling and... well, whatever you want big guy!”
“I don’t even drink!” Ignis wailed.
“That’s cool, you can drive. Saves us money, right Harry?” Lightning beamed at the veteran. who immediately latched on to the notion sharp as a razor, still.
“Yeah Meg, that’s a perfect idea! Tell you what, let me close shop here real quick and we’ll get going..” He looked over at the cheap suit wearing man with glasses and what appeared to be a tennis racket, might have been squash, Harry didn’t really care for the difference: “Hey! Jimbo! I’m leaving for the day, tell the marks I’ll be back by noon tomorrow, going out to paint the town red with these perfect tens.. Woo!”
While he starts dancing his way out from behind the table with Lightning on one arm and a very reluctant Ignis on the other, the promoter walked up to him: “GODDAMN IT HARRY! DON’T DO THIS SHIT TO ME AGAIN! IF YOU WALK OUT OF THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW YOU WILL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME YOU PIECE OF DONKEY FUCKING SHIT!?!”
Without even looking back Harry yells out over his shoulder: “Go Fuck yourself Jimbo! I’ll be back by noon tomorrow, you know this place wouldn’t draw a dime even if robbed slot machines for a living with these curtain jerkers, You need me and The Hammer, ALWAYS gets paid!”
As she saw her sister gazing adoringly into the eyes of this obviously crazy old man, Ignis sighed once more. She knew her sister was insane, it was enough dealing with just her.
But spending the night with BOTH of these nuts? With them getting drunk?
If anything could ever turn the straight edge Firebird to the drink, this was it...
Kamikaze
(Off Camera)
Ignis poked her juice with the straw, bored out of her mind and slightly weirded out. Harry had been regaling the sisters with stories of his time on the road, and the Firebird couldn’t help but feel they were somewhat embellished. The Welsh Suplex Girl, however, was dreamily soaking in the tales, laughing and nodding and basically kissing his ass. Ignis wondered how a strong, independent woman like her sister, a storied and decorated wrestler in her own right, could become such a sissy fangirl.
“You’re so amazing, Harry!” Lightning squeaked. “You’ve had so many great adventures, I wish the sport was still like that. All I got so far was a shit marriage to a jumped up photographer who liked snapping women in various states of undress. But when I wanted to pose for Playboy? NOOOOO that was a dealbreaker. I’d look good in Playboy, wouldn’t I?”
Pounding down yet another Kamikaze, the Vodka filled drink Harry put an arm cozily around Lightning’s shoulder: “Oh of course it was, he didn’t want his squeeze to be ogled at by other guys, they say photographers have an eye for beauty but CLEARLY your boyfriend was just a pencil necked (and probably pencil-dicked too he thought without saying it) nerd who knew that if you ever got to Hefner’s mansion or to any publicity such shoots give out, you would trade him up for a real man, because men like that “boyfriend” of yours are just that..boys, even as husbands they are still pretty much the same scared boy who is more comfortable pretending to be a man, instead of being one..I’ve known men like that all my life, and their wives just LOVE to be treated like the queens they really are, they just need a KING to show them how it’s done first..”
This was the time when Ignis stopped poking her drink: “Oh like all your ex-wives then? Why did they leave if you were such a catch Harry?”
Her eyes could have pierced a lesser man but without even blinking Stone pulled Lightning in closer and fired back: “Because, Meg. My wives could never deal with the fame and success I had, I elevated them from nothing to being real queens and they got greedy, they wanted to tame me, make me some sort of a trophy husband who they could brag to their girlfriends about but not let me be a real man, I am a STUD among ponies, Megan..I can not be tamed by any woman. They never understood that, and that is why I chose my freedom over their selfish plans..just like your sister chose hers over a selfish, insecure, little nimwit.”
“DAMN RIGHT!” Lightning beamed. “They didn’t have the class and the style to handle a REAL MAN like Harry! He’s... A WRESTLING GOD!”
“OH BITCH YOU DIDN’T GO THERE!” Ignis squeaked! (She called herself that back in the day. And by back in the day I mean 2015)
“Babydoll, I am not just a wrestling god, as far as wrestling is concerned I AM GOD!” Harry howls out and holds up his hand. “BOY, more drinks for the ladies..another batch of Kamikazes and top off the..what was that you were having Meg?”
As the Firebird loaded up all the sarcasm she had in her voice, you could see it practically dripping from every word. “Juice, Harry. It’s NON-ALCOHOLIC, healthy and good for you too, you should try it sometime.”
Shaking his head Harry Morgan Stone just looked at Lightning beside him. “Oh I don’t need no damn kid vitamins, I get all the vitamins I need right here..B as in Beauty, C as in class, D as in Dedication and T as in Talent..”
Now Ignis was just sick of his shit. “There is no such thing as vitamin T you old goof, maybe you should cut down on the drink..”
He just laughed. “Oh yeah, I got all the energizer I need right here with me, Meg but no shame in having some drinks while we talk shop is there? I mean you’d learn a thing or two from this if you ever get in the business in the future.”
“But... I AM A WRESTLER! I’ve held titles, damnit! More than horse face over there...”
“HEY! I know you’re jealous of us, but there’s no need to be rude.” Lightning shook her head. “Don’t mind Meg. She’s kind of a prissy girl. She doesn’t recognize true greatness.”
While Harry was ready to say something a waiter showed up with another batch of Kamikaze’s for the two of them and elegant as ever The Hammer held up a glass, after offering one off to Lightning: “Here’s to ya Meg! For a one day successful career in the business shame you didn’t have the knowledge and respect that your sister has..because you could have made it a lot further before the years start to add up.”
“Add up? I’m five years younger than she is!!!” Megan squealed.
“Really? I would never have guessed based on your looks.” Harry said, rather matter of factly. “I mean, Jessie here doesn’t look a day over 21!”
“OMG I LOVE YOU!!!” Lightning squeaked, hugging him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
It was obvious to everyone but maybe Jessie herself that what she just heard had been a line Harry Stone had used for at least the aforementioned 21 years, and he leaned in to stroke her cheek. “Even that 21 one might be stretching it..I’d ask for you ID young lady, but you probably used your older sister's papers to get in here tonight, am I right?” He nodded over at Megan who was fuming by now.
“Er... sure, let’s go with that!” Lightning gawked. “It’s nice, after my marriage, to meet a man who knows how to treat a woman. You’re so dreamy!” She said, the moment slightly ruined by Megan sticking her finger in her throat and making and obnoxious choking noise.
It was not that Harry was ever mean to his fans on purpose (or at least he would not admit it) but of course if someone looking like Jess Leavenworth showed up and was basically everything you had in your prime except few decades later and a whole lot of pounds slimmer than any woman your own age, only a madman would resist it, and Harry Morgan Stone was a whole different kind of madman.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to the bathroom.” Ignis sighed, getting up from her chair. She went there, and wondered to herself ‘what did her sister see in this old fool?’ The cheesy pick up lines, not to mention the fact that he couldn’t be a day under 65... she knew she herself was the pretty one of the family... but still! No... it was just admiration. He was a childhood hero to her. That’s all it was. There were no... feelings there.
Ignis flushed the toilet and made her way back out to the main bar area. And there she saw it...
Harry Stone & Jestine Leavenworth making out.
What... the actual... fuck.