Post by The Revolution on Feb 25, 2016 2:06:07 GMT -5
”Here we are, getting ready for the first Pay-per View of the year and here I find myself in an unfamiliar situation. I thought for just a moment two weeks ago, I was going into Rising Stars and putting my Master of Puppets Championship on the line against a friend in Samantha Tolson but then, we were interrupted by three ladies that I know. One of them is someone I know better than most people, one lady that still has a piece of my heart despite breaking it into pieces again after she had helped to make it whole again. That group called themselves The Triad and one of the members is someone who I still think is the love of my life and she’s still the only person I truly have eyes for even if I am attempting to move on from the heartache. It’s weird, going into a match with somebody for me is usually something I’m able to truly prepare for because I either can’t stand them or they are just another opponent for me to look at and think that it’s time for me to show them just how great I am in that ring and find out a way to win by any means necessary.
Amanda is different though for me. I’ve stared at the match on the card and I haven’t been able to figure just how I am going to block out the love I have for Amanda out of my mind and treat her like just another opponent that I have to defeat in order to retain my championship. Amanda might have changed a little bit between now and the time we broke up but, I know that inside, she is still the sweet, loving woman that showed me what it was to love again. Now, I’m usually one to sit here and talk about how much better I am than my opponents but, when it comes to Amanda, I’m truly at a loss for words. I can’t think of anything to say about her that I can honestly say I wouldn’t regret saying because of the love I feel for her.
Amanda, I hate that we are in this situation, fighting against one another physically in the ring but, I also understand that in the end, I hurt you but, I don’t know if you understand that you hurt me as well when we broke up. I honestly felt like we could get through anything and everything that life threw at us but, I guess my friends were just a little too much for you. I think you were simply jealous that I had friends outside of you and Veronica that cared about me just as much as you did. You see, I couldn’t abandon people who have become my extended family and I guess you never could understand that and that was the downfall of the relationship. I had other people in my life that needed just a little bit of my time and attention but, you couldn’t see that because I know that you abandoned your whole former life for a chance at happiness with me.
Amanda, I understand that you felt like I should have tried to make the same sacrifices you made to be with me but, you didn’t understand just how important those that I did care about were and still are to me. They will always have a place in my heart, much like you always will Amanda. You will always have the biggest piece of my heart no matter how far away we are. I know that you are going to say some really harsh stuff about me and that it should anger me but, it doesn’t. It hurts me deeper than that honestly, it hurts my heart hearing you say those things about me that I honestly can’t react to them and come back with anything. I have nothing bad to say about you, nothing that I want to say anyways. I simply can’t bring myself to talk bad towards you because of the love I still have for you. Remember that necklace you gave me on Valentine’s Day? I’m sure you do because it seems like the sweet kind of gift you would give me. I talk about this because I see that gift that is around my neck every single day now and see that no matter what you do or say, there is still a part of you that feels the same way as I do towards you.
Amanda, you can try to deny that you no longer love me but, Valentine’s Day showed me otherwise. That night we shared was magical on many different levels. Remember the hotel room after talking at the restaurant? I sure as hell do because I had you screaming my name over and over again. I had you in the palm of my hands, well, I had you with three fingers to be exact. Remember all of this Amanda? I hope you do because you said it was a one time deal because things were about to get nasty between us and well, you said it, not me. I’m going to try and hold back as much as possible on what I say and do to you but, when this thing starts to go full force, there’s no saying what I’ll do or say to you and that kind of hurts me but, business is just business right? You can’t take anything I say personally because I’m just trying to go out there and do what the fans want to see from me, get inside the heads of my opponents. So, whatever you want to think my love, just know that no matter what, you will forever be in my heart even if I don’t act like it because I will not show you weakness in all of this because I can’t afford to. I can’t afford to let my guard down and give you an opening.
Amanda, I know your style of submission wrestling really puts you at an advantage in this match because you are calculated and work on body parts and that doesn’t exert too much energy and it would force people to use up all of their rope breaks early on in the match. I get it, you should be looked at as the favorite heading into this match but, I’m not so sure you are looked at as such. I mean, it’s been months since you have been inside of a wrestling ring and actually competed in a match. The first match back is always the hardest one because it takes some time to get used to getting your ass kicked again after a long time away from it. Amanda, I will not hurt you much but, I will do whatever it is I can to make sure that I am the one walking out of this match as the victor.
Then we have the forgotten one of the match, Samantha Tolson. Yes, you have been lost in the shuffle in this match for one reason, and that is because of the lover’s quarrel going on between Amanda and I. Yeah, I know that’s the big story of the match but, I haven’t forgotten about you. You Samantha my dear were the first person to have the guts to walk out to that ring and challenge me for my championship. I have respect for you on that end. I can’t wait to step inside the ring and see what you are truly made of. The match between you and I was going to be one filled with respect and I was going to do something I wouldn’t normally do and that is fight with honor because I wanted to see who was better between the two of us.
Samantha, I haven’t overlooked you despite it looking like I’m focused on Amanda being in this match. I haven’t become a top LAW star by being distracted by someone I hold close to my heart. I know that when the bell rings, all three of us are enemies out there despite where we stand outside of the ropes. I have respect for you Samantha and see you as a friend outside of LAW but, inside that building, you are my enemy, someone trying to take my spot in the company and I will not allow that to happen. You have only had one match so far in this company and well, you were impressive in it but, you are still nowhere near my level of talent and I think everyone knows that my dear.
Samantha, I am glad you were the first to stand up and challenge me though because it shows me that the new talent coming into LAW very well could be hungry and starving for that attention that I wanted so badly when I first walked into these doors. I was so hungry and wanted nothing more than to be recognized as one of the best this company has ever seen and in the course of year long journey, I have shown the entire world just that. I may not have the accomplishments of some of the other greats that have graced this company but, I am one of the reasons people tune in to every single show. I am the reason the fans want to keep coming back. Oni might be the LAW Champion but, she’s nowhere near as entertaining as I am. We all know people really don’t care about our current Breakout Champion in Keira Fisher and well, Mackenzie Roberts is just boring. The only thing remotely interesting about her is the fact that she’s engaged to my cousin. All of our champions in LAW are nothing but bores. Oni may be the best wrestler but, when it comes to being entertaining, she’s a bore. Nobody makes people want to tune into the shows more than I do and that is my opinion.
Samantha, I want you to come out to that ring and give it your best and show that maybe one day you will be ready to be someone in this company worth knowing but for right now, you will be nothing but one of my next victims when I walk into this match and I leave this match still holding my championship proudly and waiting on my next opponent to try and take it away from me. Samantha, just be ready to see what it takes to be a top star in LAW when you face me in that ring.
Amanda is different though for me. I’ve stared at the match on the card and I haven’t been able to figure just how I am going to block out the love I have for Amanda out of my mind and treat her like just another opponent that I have to defeat in order to retain my championship. Amanda might have changed a little bit between now and the time we broke up but, I know that inside, she is still the sweet, loving woman that showed me what it was to love again. Now, I’m usually one to sit here and talk about how much better I am than my opponents but, when it comes to Amanda, I’m truly at a loss for words. I can’t think of anything to say about her that I can honestly say I wouldn’t regret saying because of the love I feel for her.
Amanda, I hate that we are in this situation, fighting against one another physically in the ring but, I also understand that in the end, I hurt you but, I don’t know if you understand that you hurt me as well when we broke up. I honestly felt like we could get through anything and everything that life threw at us but, I guess my friends were just a little too much for you. I think you were simply jealous that I had friends outside of you and Veronica that cared about me just as much as you did. You see, I couldn’t abandon people who have become my extended family and I guess you never could understand that and that was the downfall of the relationship. I had other people in my life that needed just a little bit of my time and attention but, you couldn’t see that because I know that you abandoned your whole former life for a chance at happiness with me.
Amanda, I understand that you felt like I should have tried to make the same sacrifices you made to be with me but, you didn’t understand just how important those that I did care about were and still are to me. They will always have a place in my heart, much like you always will Amanda. You will always have the biggest piece of my heart no matter how far away we are. I know that you are going to say some really harsh stuff about me and that it should anger me but, it doesn’t. It hurts me deeper than that honestly, it hurts my heart hearing you say those things about me that I honestly can’t react to them and come back with anything. I have nothing bad to say about you, nothing that I want to say anyways. I simply can’t bring myself to talk bad towards you because of the love I still have for you. Remember that necklace you gave me on Valentine’s Day? I’m sure you do because it seems like the sweet kind of gift you would give me. I talk about this because I see that gift that is around my neck every single day now and see that no matter what you do or say, there is still a part of you that feels the same way as I do towards you.
Amanda, you can try to deny that you no longer love me but, Valentine’s Day showed me otherwise. That night we shared was magical on many different levels. Remember the hotel room after talking at the restaurant? I sure as hell do because I had you screaming my name over and over again. I had you in the palm of my hands, well, I had you with three fingers to be exact. Remember all of this Amanda? I hope you do because you said it was a one time deal because things were about to get nasty between us and well, you said it, not me. I’m going to try and hold back as much as possible on what I say and do to you but, when this thing starts to go full force, there’s no saying what I’ll do or say to you and that kind of hurts me but, business is just business right? You can’t take anything I say personally because I’m just trying to go out there and do what the fans want to see from me, get inside the heads of my opponents. So, whatever you want to think my love, just know that no matter what, you will forever be in my heart even if I don’t act like it because I will not show you weakness in all of this because I can’t afford to. I can’t afford to let my guard down and give you an opening.
Amanda, I know your style of submission wrestling really puts you at an advantage in this match because you are calculated and work on body parts and that doesn’t exert too much energy and it would force people to use up all of their rope breaks early on in the match. I get it, you should be looked at as the favorite heading into this match but, I’m not so sure you are looked at as such. I mean, it’s been months since you have been inside of a wrestling ring and actually competed in a match. The first match back is always the hardest one because it takes some time to get used to getting your ass kicked again after a long time away from it. Amanda, I will not hurt you much but, I will do whatever it is I can to make sure that I am the one walking out of this match as the victor.
Then we have the forgotten one of the match, Samantha Tolson. Yes, you have been lost in the shuffle in this match for one reason, and that is because of the lover’s quarrel going on between Amanda and I. Yeah, I know that’s the big story of the match but, I haven’t forgotten about you. You Samantha my dear were the first person to have the guts to walk out to that ring and challenge me for my championship. I have respect for you on that end. I can’t wait to step inside the ring and see what you are truly made of. The match between you and I was going to be one filled with respect and I was going to do something I wouldn’t normally do and that is fight with honor because I wanted to see who was better between the two of us.
Samantha, I haven’t overlooked you despite it looking like I’m focused on Amanda being in this match. I haven’t become a top LAW star by being distracted by someone I hold close to my heart. I know that when the bell rings, all three of us are enemies out there despite where we stand outside of the ropes. I have respect for you Samantha and see you as a friend outside of LAW but, inside that building, you are my enemy, someone trying to take my spot in the company and I will not allow that to happen. You have only had one match so far in this company and well, you were impressive in it but, you are still nowhere near my level of talent and I think everyone knows that my dear.
Samantha, I am glad you were the first to stand up and challenge me though because it shows me that the new talent coming into LAW very well could be hungry and starving for that attention that I wanted so badly when I first walked into these doors. I was so hungry and wanted nothing more than to be recognized as one of the best this company has ever seen and in the course of year long journey, I have shown the entire world just that. I may not have the accomplishments of some of the other greats that have graced this company but, I am one of the reasons people tune in to every single show. I am the reason the fans want to keep coming back. Oni might be the LAW Champion but, she’s nowhere near as entertaining as I am. We all know people really don’t care about our current Breakout Champion in Keira Fisher and well, Mackenzie Roberts is just boring. The only thing remotely interesting about her is the fact that she’s engaged to my cousin. All of our champions in LAW are nothing but bores. Oni may be the best wrestler but, when it comes to being entertaining, she’s a bore. Nobody makes people want to tune into the shows more than I do and that is my opinion.
Samantha, I want you to come out to that ring and give it your best and show that maybe one day you will be ready to be someone in this company worth knowing but for right now, you will be nothing but one of my next victims when I walk into this match and I leave this match still holding my championship proudly and waiting on my next opponent to try and take it away from me. Samantha, just be ready to see what it takes to be a top star in LAW when you face me in that ring.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
It was late at night and I was out in the streets of Manchester, I was probably sixteen, maybe seventeen. I don’t really know because I lost track of time during those days. All I know is that in these days, I was never sure if I was going to survive until the morning because the addiction to heroin was so strong that if I didn’t have a fix at regular intervals, The only problem was the fact that I was living on the streets, had no job, had no real skills to speak of because I was in a sheltered household where my parents didn’t allow me to explore life and figure out what I was good at. But, I learned I was fairly good con artist and thief so, I made my money that way in order to get the amount of heroin I needed in order to get high.
I wandered the streets of Manchester looking for a few poor souls to take wallets from without them even noticing to get my money. I walked up to a gentleman who was on his cell phone not even paying attention to me. He was at an ATM taking money out of his bank account and I knew it was my time to strike. I casually walked up to the guy acting like I wasn’t paying attention just as he pulled his card out of the machine. I was paying close attention and got his pin number memorized by the time I walked up and ran into him causing him to drop his wallet, debit card, and cell phone. I hit the ground on top of his debit card and slyly put it in my pocket.
“Watch where you’re walking you bitch!”
I look up at him flustered as I make it to my feet.
“Sorry sir. I was looking at something shiny.”
I smile and begin walking off and turn into a dark alley as I hear him scream out that his debit card had gone missing. I hopped a fence at the end and kept walking knowing that I was never going to see him again and thankfully, there was an ATM just a few steps from the other side of the alley. I walk up to it, insert the card and take out two hundred Euros and walk away leaving the card there because I knew that after this, the card wouldn’t be any use to me because he would just cancel it.
I continue walking down the street and walk into another alley. I knew this alley all too well because it was the same alley I visited every single night to get my next days supply of heroin that I needed to get high and as more time went by, the more I had to buy in order to get that feeling of happiness and calmness that I so desperately sought out. When I was high on heroin, all of my troubles seemed to disappear. I never cared that I was homeless, that I had no parents to speak of anymore, that I had all of these problems in my life. All that mattered was that I had my high and that I was feeling the best I have ever felt in my life. That’s all heroin really ever did, it just made you feel good.
I saw my dealer standing at the end of the alley. Well, I saw his figure because there wasn’t much light at the end of the alley. I walked up to him and not a word was spoken because the less we talked, the less of a chance we had to be caught. I pulled out the cash from my coat pocket and he pulled out the drugs and a clean syringe and needle. We made the quick exchange and I slid my stuff into my coat pocket and he slid the money into his pocket. We nodded and parted ways. I went down the street a little bit and went to the spot where I would normally sleep. It was in an old abandoned warehouse that just seemed to be sitting there ripe for someone to take it over and make something out of it but, nothing ever came of it so, me and few others used it as our shelter.
I took my spot in my usual corner on the second floor of the building where I had what was left of any possessions I had and pulled out my tourniquet, spoon, and lighter. I put some of the brown substance onto the spoon with a bit of water and ignited the lighter and held it under the spoon until the white powder mixed into the water. I opened the syringe and needle and put the liquid inside. I tied the tourniquet around my upper arm tight enough to make sure I saw a vein showing in the crease of my elbow. I took the needle and stuck it into my arm and slowly injected the liquid into my body. The first shot didn’t give me any feeling at all so, I had to do this process a couple of times before I finally got that feeling of euphoria and happiness I so craved to have in my life.
Finally, after getting that happiness and carefree attitude I longed for hit me, I layed down and took my jacket off and used it as a pillow and started to drift off to sleep.
I sat there on the beach in Miami looking back at this knowing that I had a new drug now that was even harder to quit than heroin ever will be. It wasn’t an actual drug but, the person causing this addiction was my drug and that person was Amanda Clockworkx. No matter how much I tried to fight the temptation now that we were apart, something kept drawing me to her when she wanted to meet up with me. Maybe it was the feeling of happiness and euphoria that heroin gave me that drew me back to her time and time again. Maybe it was just me being foolish and in love but, I knew one thing was for certain, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I wanted to quit her, I knew that I never would be able to and that is how I ended up here on the beach at eleven o’clock at night waiting for my next fix of spending quality time with the first person I had ever loved in my life again.
As much as I wanted to fight it, as much as I wanted to deny the fact that she had me under her spell of addiction, I found myself wanting more and more of her each time that I saw her now that we were broken up. I can’t fight it anymore and I refuse to because I know that when all is said and done, she will always have me addicted to her and I will always come back to her for more. She knows this as well and it very well could be my downfall but, I didn’t care anymore I was addicted and there was nothing I wanted more than to have my fix of Amanda more and more, for longer periods of time until we were finally back together again even if that may never happen. I just knew that I had to keep on fighting to get that never ending high again even if it kills me in the process and maybe isolates me from everyone else who ever cared about me. I just knew that Amanda had to be with me forever and I was going to find a way to make that happen again.
[/i]I wandered the streets of Manchester looking for a few poor souls to take wallets from without them even noticing to get my money. I walked up to a gentleman who was on his cell phone not even paying attention to me. He was at an ATM taking money out of his bank account and I knew it was my time to strike. I casually walked up to the guy acting like I wasn’t paying attention just as he pulled his card out of the machine. I was paying close attention and got his pin number memorized by the time I walked up and ran into him causing him to drop his wallet, debit card, and cell phone. I hit the ground on top of his debit card and slyly put it in my pocket.
“Watch where you’re walking you bitch!”
I look up at him flustered as I make it to my feet.
“Sorry sir. I was looking at something shiny.”
I smile and begin walking off and turn into a dark alley as I hear him scream out that his debit card had gone missing. I hopped a fence at the end and kept walking knowing that I was never going to see him again and thankfully, there was an ATM just a few steps from the other side of the alley. I walk up to it, insert the card and take out two hundred Euros and walk away leaving the card there because I knew that after this, the card wouldn’t be any use to me because he would just cancel it.
I continue walking down the street and walk into another alley. I knew this alley all too well because it was the same alley I visited every single night to get my next days supply of heroin that I needed to get high and as more time went by, the more I had to buy in order to get that feeling of happiness and calmness that I so desperately sought out. When I was high on heroin, all of my troubles seemed to disappear. I never cared that I was homeless, that I had no parents to speak of anymore, that I had all of these problems in my life. All that mattered was that I had my high and that I was feeling the best I have ever felt in my life. That’s all heroin really ever did, it just made you feel good.
I saw my dealer standing at the end of the alley. Well, I saw his figure because there wasn’t much light at the end of the alley. I walked up to him and not a word was spoken because the less we talked, the less of a chance we had to be caught. I pulled out the cash from my coat pocket and he pulled out the drugs and a clean syringe and needle. We made the quick exchange and I slid my stuff into my coat pocket and he slid the money into his pocket. We nodded and parted ways. I went down the street a little bit and went to the spot where I would normally sleep. It was in an old abandoned warehouse that just seemed to be sitting there ripe for someone to take it over and make something out of it but, nothing ever came of it so, me and few others used it as our shelter.
I took my spot in my usual corner on the second floor of the building where I had what was left of any possessions I had and pulled out my tourniquet, spoon, and lighter. I put some of the brown substance onto the spoon with a bit of water and ignited the lighter and held it under the spoon until the white powder mixed into the water. I opened the syringe and needle and put the liquid inside. I tied the tourniquet around my upper arm tight enough to make sure I saw a vein showing in the crease of my elbow. I took the needle and stuck it into my arm and slowly injected the liquid into my body. The first shot didn’t give me any feeling at all so, I had to do this process a couple of times before I finally got that feeling of euphoria and happiness I so craved to have in my life.
Finally, after getting that happiness and carefree attitude I longed for hit me, I layed down and took my jacket off and used it as a pillow and started to drift off to sleep.
I sat there on the beach in Miami looking back at this knowing that I had a new drug now that was even harder to quit than heroin ever will be. It wasn’t an actual drug but, the person causing this addiction was my drug and that person was Amanda Clockworkx. No matter how much I tried to fight the temptation now that we were apart, something kept drawing me to her when she wanted to meet up with me. Maybe it was the feeling of happiness and euphoria that heroin gave me that drew me back to her time and time again. Maybe it was just me being foolish and in love but, I knew one thing was for certain, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I wanted to quit her, I knew that I never would be able to and that is how I ended up here on the beach at eleven o’clock at night waiting for my next fix of spending quality time with the first person I had ever loved in my life again.
As much as I wanted to fight it, as much as I wanted to deny the fact that she had me under her spell of addiction, I found myself wanting more and more of her each time that I saw her now that we were broken up. I can’t fight it anymore and I refuse to because I know that when all is said and done, she will always have me addicted to her and I will always come back to her for more. She knows this as well and it very well could be my downfall but, I didn’t care anymore I was addicted and there was nothing I wanted more than to have my fix of Amanda more and more, for longer periods of time until we were finally back together again even if that may never happen. I just knew that I had to keep on fighting to get that never ending high again even if it kills me in the process and maybe isolates me from everyone else who ever cared about me. I just knew that Amanda had to be with me forever and I was going to find a way to make that happen again.