Post by Kenzi Grey on Aug 21, 2016 14:03:16 GMT -5
OOC: The personal thoughts of Kenzi Grey from her personal diary:
Melissa Reaves and Katie Anderson were the first two friends that I made outside of LAW. I met Melissa first and we spoke a few times and then we did the most romantic thing ever…SHARED ICE CREAM! I have to tell you the truth…I connected with her in a way that had me thinking that we might have had a bit of chemistry between us…I can’t lie. Of course, that quickly ended when she started talking about her girlfriend, Katie.
To be honest, even after I met Katie…I was jealous. It wasn’t like I was going to be with Mel…but I still felt…JEALOUS! It’s the one emotion that I can process with no problem…besides anger…
I nearly lost their friendship when I stupidly went onto the ASK.FM app and asked Mel what she would do if Katie died. I couldn’t help myself! I was so out of my mind with being jealous that I just acted out foolishly. When the two of them expressed dismay over the shitty question I asked anonymously, I played stupid and acted dismayed as well. I would have kept doing that, if Dr. Steve had not insisted that I own up to what I had done as part of my recovery. That was a shitty day!
Katie wanted to strangle me and Melissa was really disappointed (that hurt me more honestly). Even though they both forgave me, I never really explained to them why I did it. Since then, it’s weird how our relationship has changed. Katie and I have actually grown closer and now I can’t imagine myself without either of them in my life. The funny thing is that I still feel like I am losing them.
I know that it is just my jealousy acting on my stupid broken brain, but Mel is more distant…still friendly, but distant and the two of them seem to have way more fun with their other friends than they do with me anymore. I know that it might not be real at all…but I really can’t shake the feeling that it’s happening.
I spent the night with them tonight and it really did a lot to make me feel better while I was there with them. I had a lot of fun and I forgot about all the shitty feelings I was having…at least for a while. When I left, I texted them and told them what a good time I had. They echoed the sentiment and then I asked them to let me know when they got settled in Vegas so I could see their new place…
…I still hear the crickets chirping…neither of them bothered to respond...
I feel like shit and I know I shouldn’t…they didn’t see it…right? Or maybe I really am losing my friends…
Melissa Reaves and Katie Anderson were the first two friends that I made outside of LAW. I met Melissa first and we spoke a few times and then we did the most romantic thing ever…SHARED ICE CREAM! I have to tell you the truth…I connected with her in a way that had me thinking that we might have had a bit of chemistry between us…I can’t lie. Of course, that quickly ended when she started talking about her girlfriend, Katie.
To be honest, even after I met Katie…I was jealous. It wasn’t like I was going to be with Mel…but I still felt…JEALOUS! It’s the one emotion that I can process with no problem…besides anger…
I nearly lost their friendship when I stupidly went onto the ASK.FM app and asked Mel what she would do if Katie died. I couldn’t help myself! I was so out of my mind with being jealous that I just acted out foolishly. When the two of them expressed dismay over the shitty question I asked anonymously, I played stupid and acted dismayed as well. I would have kept doing that, if Dr. Steve had not insisted that I own up to what I had done as part of my recovery. That was a shitty day!
Katie wanted to strangle me and Melissa was really disappointed (that hurt me more honestly). Even though they both forgave me, I never really explained to them why I did it. Since then, it’s weird how our relationship has changed. Katie and I have actually grown closer and now I can’t imagine myself without either of them in my life. The funny thing is that I still feel like I am losing them.
I know that it is just my jealousy acting on my stupid broken brain, but Mel is more distant…still friendly, but distant and the two of them seem to have way more fun with their other friends than they do with me anymore. I know that it might not be real at all…but I really can’t shake the feeling that it’s happening.
I spent the night with them tonight and it really did a lot to make me feel better while I was there with them. I had a lot of fun and I forgot about all the shitty feelings I was having…at least for a while. When I left, I texted them and told them what a good time I had. They echoed the sentiment and then I asked them to let me know when they got settled in Vegas so I could see their new place…
…I still hear the crickets chirping…neither of them bothered to respond...
I feel like shit and I know I shouldn’t…they didn’t see it…right? Or maybe I really am losing my friends…