Post by Gabriella Camacho on Nov 19, 2016 15:12:07 GMT -5
From Gabby's Blog:
You know, it’s just called Déjà vu all over again isn’t it? I mean, at this time last year, I was a facing Crystal Hilton, Millar, whatever her name is now, and I was itching to beat the shit out of her, and I lost focus on really what as important at the time. And I learned from that loss. What exactly did Crystal do with the win? Nothing really, besides try and throw it in my face. Much like she does every time she wins a match, Probably every time she accomplishes anything at this point. The completely awful “hey, look at me, I did this.” Style of winning. It’s like she’s Kobe Bryant in the last few years of his career. Trying to prove he still has it, and everybody gasping at the things he did. Not out of awe, but amazement he can still do things like dunk. It was a big deal every time Kobe did anything if you watched ESPN. That’s basically Crystal Millar’s twitter. “Look at me, look how good I still am!” “Look at me, winning things.” Because it’s actually a shock when she does so. Like winning Queen of the Ring, and then promptly getting beat by fucking Kenzi Grey. Way to hold up the Queen of the Ring standard. Apparently, the Williams/Hilton/Millar group can win something, but they will instantly fumble it away like Mark Sanchez running into a lineman’s ass.
Last year, Jenny Williams won Queen of the Ring, and then got destroyed at Night of Glory. And sadly, Crystal Millar is about to make the Queen of the Ring winners one for fucking three in actually doing anything with it. Queen of the Ring is about opportunity, and yet, Crystal is about to fail, again at being at the top of any promotion. And you wanna know why? Because Crystal stopped being interesting a long time ago. When’s the last time any of us were ever really impressed with Crystal? I’m not taking about that pity impressed that came when Crystal won Queen of the Ring. Because I know a bunch of us were like “wow, Crystal’s still got it.” I’m surprised the fans didn’t chant that to her at the show anyway. The fact remains, Crystal Millar, is reduced to being a sideshow, doing things for attention. She wins some chamber match, the resulting tweet is “I’m the best” Even though she came in last and half the field was already gone. It’s hardly impressive to win any big chamber when you’re the freshest of the bunch. It would have been impressive if after winning Queen of the Ring, if she had actually done anything besides embarrass herself. So now, I’m supposed to see Crystal as a serious threat to take my championship? Perhaps Crystal is the one who should be serious.
The truth of the matter is that Crystal had to step up to the plate to keep her spot after she lost to Kenzi. Much like when most of us fall, we have to get up off the ground and get back in the fight. But, do you know what happened after that triple threat match was announced? She cried like a fucking baby. “Why do I have to face so and so?!” Whaah! “This person doesn’t have the required amount of matches” whaaah. She’s one of those guys in sports games who complain to the ref after they get hit. Always with their hands up, looking for a call. Like, no bitch, you get hit like everyone else, you’re not special. There is no one above the game. But you know, it’s Crystal Millar, we’re all supposed to just cater to her, and not offer her any competition. Because she’ll just sad sack and throw a pity party for herself. I mean, she did that last year at Queen of the Ring. Acting like it’s the end of the world because she was so desperate to win and didn’t. Because that seems to be what it’s about for Crystal Millar all the time. “Praise me, love me, be my friend!” Like I told you on twitter, I’m surprised you have any friends at all. The way you treat people, the way you use them, it’s fucking disgusting. You can spend all day trashing someone, and then 5 minutes later you want to be their friend. You are seriously the fakest bitch I have ever seen. I’ve seen two faced people before, but you have like eight. You cry and whine, and then lie about it. You wanna be everybody’s friend, and then turn on them at the drop of a hat. And then you turn around and wanna be friend again! Like that shit you pull didn’t just happen. Because you wanna be popular, you wanna be the center of attention. You want praise, you want respect. As a wrestler? You deserve respect for your accomplishments, even though you show none for any of your opponents. But as a person, you are so phony and transparent, it’s no wonder everyone can see through your bullshit. You’re a sore loser, and a shitty winner. You get challenged, you cry about it. You thought it was gonna be smooth sailing, but guess what? It’s not. We all gotta work around here. And that’s really your biggest problem.
You don’t wanna work.
That seems to be a lot of people’s problems around LAW. Accomplish one thing, EARN one thing, demand everything else be handed to you. It’s fucking sad that someone who is as well-known as you, has the star-power you do, isn’t a leader. No, you wanna be the diva around here. Act like because you did X,Y, and Z two or three years ago that now, you shouldn’t have to defend your turf. Everything is too much work for you. God forbid you would have lost that triple threat match and Amy Jo or Chacalita were sitting in your spot right now. You would still be crying about it right now. All because you forgot that because you earn something, doesn’t mean you just keep it on principle. Just like this LAW championship. I earned it. Twice. And guess what? I still have to defend the thing against you at Night of Glory. I mean, is that what it’s coming down to if you win this championship? You gonna bitch about defending it every time? Your piss poor attitude says to me that you just want this championship, just to say you have it. It’s just another notch on your belt isn’t it? Another check mark on your career accomplishments list. You have ZERO interest in helping the company you hold the championship for. You just wanna have it. I bet you get pissed when you don’t win awards too. I mean, part of me can respect the competitive nature of this game, but you just wanna win, just to say you did. And rub it everyone’s face. Because it’s what you do. I am amazed anyone even speaks to you, the way you handle yourself. You have zero self-respect, and zero respect for anyone else. It’s a sad fucking combination Crystal. It really, really is.
I mean, at this point, I almost pity you. I get embarrassed for everyone involved when two or three people are having a conversation on twitter, and you feel the need to butt in, trying to fit in. Especially when it has fuck all to do with you. It’s just you, screaming for attention. You want what others have that can come naturally. But, what you have, is the result of you burning every fucking bridge you possibly can because of your shitty attitude, this is the shit you get. It’s what you deserve. You just can’t stand that other people have lives and it doesn’t always involve you. Contrary to what you may believe right now, the world does NOT revolve around Crystal Millar. It never did. To me, right now, all you are in an opponent. The next one. I don’t give a flying fuck about your personal life, your struggle to be a “Better person”, none of it. You fucked that up for yourself, and you have to live with the consequences. I mean, do you jump into conversations with people like that in real life? Do you just sit around, waiting for people to be talking about something so you can jump in and look for acceptance? Because it’s a tired act right now on twitter. I can take a week off from even looking at the thing and the moment I come back, I don’t have to look far on my feed to see you making a goddamn fool of yourself trying to be popular, or smart, or funny, or anything even close. Nobody needs you jumping into their conversations especially when you add little to nothing to it, or worse yet, you make it about you! I mean, seriously? These pathetic “what about me?” tweets constantly? How disingenuous can you possibly be? That’s why I say I almost pity you, because it’s really, really sad. But at the same time, it’s fucking infuriating because you think this shit is okay, because it’s part of your “healing process” or whatever half-assed thing you’re doing now that you’ll change in two months and go back to being a heartless bitch or whatever. Fuck, you don’t even keep your story straight day to day on twitter. This, right now, has me constantly begging the question:
“Why the fuck does anyone take Crystal Millar seriously?”
Because as it stands right now, with everything the way it is… I shouldn’t. And I know, this will motivate you, light a fire under you. And I hope it does. I really do. Because you know, deep down in your soul, everything I’m saying about you is the fucking truth. No lies are coming out of these lips. Your behavior as not only a champion, but as a person is deplorable. Everything about you, is fake. From your fake as shit smile to your fake as shit hair color. It’s quite obvious you don’t even feel comfortable in your own skin. You wanna be someone else. You wanna be something bigger than yourself. You were all about Spanish heritage for a month or so before you dropped that, because you got called out on it. You were the Rose Goddess, because you think the middle name Rose and Roses was really a fucking clever thing when it wasn’t. You were a pop star, you were this, you were that, and now the “Silver Screen Queen” And you don’t even talk about movies. You don’t even know fucking movies, do you? Oh, wait, you act in shitty straight-to-dvd bargin bin trash and you call yourself an actress. Or… no, you don’t. You just chose that nickname because in your head you think that sounded cool. No need to follow up on anything after that.
You, Crystal Millar, are just a fucking fraud.
And it’s high time someone called you out on your bullshit. And this point, probably for the fourth or fifth time. But maybe this time, you’ll get it. Though with the ego that you have, no, you won’t .You’re gonna quote some movie you’ve seen, get the quote wrong or not understand it, and think you’re clever. Pretending to be smart is not the same thing as being educated. It’s just a con, and it makes you sound stupid. But I forget, you’ll just backtrack like it never happened, much like you do when you’re faced with the truth.
I mean, it’s well documented you’re from Detroit, and yet you claim MY city of Los Angeles. You are not from here. You don’t get to rep here. I don’t give two fucks what player you like on what team or in your case, the player you didn’t even ever see fucking play, you root for your hometown team like a true fan. But even when you do it, you don’t even do it right, because you’re always talking about the Lakers, and then talking about Steph Curry. He doesn’t play for the Lakers. Get off his nuts. Get off L.A.’s nuts. Rep where you’re from. And do it the correct way, not when the mood fucking suits you.
But, I know, it’s easy to do the shit you do when you just make it up as you go along, and change your story as often as you search for acceptance and positive reinforcement. You’ve always needed a crutch. Never been one to stand on your own two goddamn feet. Well, let me tell you like it is Crystal: Life is unfair. The world fucking sucks. And it needs less fake ass bitches like you, ruining it for everyone else. You want to play both side of the fence all the time? You wanna say one thing and do another? Do that shit on someone else’s time, because I am NOT the one to listen to your redemption garbage. I heard it at least twice, and neither time were you sincere. And honestly, it sounds to me like you’ve pulled it out a time or two before LAW. A Leopard never changes it spots Crystal.
And the hilarious part is we all see it every day on twitter when you tweet. You constantly get called out for being a hypocrite. You constantly get called out for lying, and looking for attention. Maybe it’s just you being socially awkward, I don’t know, but you can’t seem to naturally be sincere or trustworthy. Everyone questions anything you do or say, that should open your eyes to how seriously screwed up your shit is. Every time you open your mouth bullshit spews forth and not one person can trust you. You simply want what other people have. You want friendship? How do you expect to have it when you backstab people so much? You are at this point, a parody of person. You want what others have, but your ego won’t allow anyone else to shine. You think that Cordy, or Nina, or anyone else wants to be friends when all you do is leave them hanging? You use them like all others. You’re not a true friend, you don’t even know the meaning of the word. You can’t be loyal to anyone, you’re not even loyal to yourself.
And you know the worst part? Your athletic prowess and ability stand the test of time, it’s just buried under this whole mountain of bullshit. Words like honor, trust, and friendship, are just that, words, to you. And that’s best case scenario. At the worst, they tools for you to get what you want. It’s embarrassing at this point Crystal. It’s a case now of what could have been, because that’s all we’ll ever really be wondering about you. If you had just kept your nose to the grind, gave your best each and every time you went out, and were humble and gracious, or fuck it, if you were a spiteful, hateful bitch the whole time, People would actually respect that. They would. But no, you wanna flip-flop and play both sides. Everything that you have said, and will say to me, or about me, in the past, present and future, no one will remember it because of the person behind those words. People who know me, know that speak the truth. They know I’m 100% real and I’m honest. You, on the other hand? Every single day, someone will call you on your bullshit. They know how fake, and phony you really are. And now, in case they didn’t know, or had their doubts… everyone else knows it too.
So call this a public service announcement or sorts.
And the worst part, or maybe the best part about this whole thing, is that I haven’t even scratched the surface of how fucking shady and selfish you are. Trust me, I got way more ammo in the magazine where this came from.
So when you sit down and listen to this, I want you to really think about what I’m saying. I want you to really listen to all that was said here today. And then look yourself in the mirror and understand that this is reality. When you and I face off at Night of Glory III, I’m coming for you fucking head. I’m coming to put you down and maybe then, maybe then, you will actually grow the fuck up and start to make the changes you really want. I really hope you actually are women enough to hold yourself to what you said about accepting this loss. Because it’s coming. I HAVE to beat you Crystal. Not because it’s notch on my belt, not to say that I did it at the biggest stage in LAW, but to just put you in your place, and make you see just how much you need to get your shit together. Trust me, I won’t be holding my breath when the match is over for that week later when you’re back to doing the same shit you’ve always done. Because I know it’s coming, fuck, everyone does.
Now you know where I stand on this, in case you didn’t before. Now you know that the LAW championship simply means more to me than it EVER will to you. When you come to take this from me, you’d better bring your “A” game. You’d better be on point, because I don’t fuck around when it comes to this championship. It’s MINE. And as such, I will be fucking crippled, blind, deaf, and on life support before I simply hand it to fake bitch like you.
I’ll be waiting to see and listen to you put on the act you’re going to do when you finally do cut your promo, about how much this championship means to you, about how much you may respect me, and all that happy horseshit that no one is gonna buy. You’d be better off just admitting that you will whatever it takes to win. At least that would be somewhat believable.
But deep down, you know the same truth I do:
It just won’t be enough.
I went to Colorado to add the final piece of hype to myself vs Crystal. I stayed and watched the women there bust their ass, and after each lady came through the curtain, I was there to shake their hand, unless they blew me off, but that’s alright, “I can deal with those bitches at a later time” I said in my head. I went out there, and cut my promo, and I said exactly how I feel. I gave Crystal my response, and she may not have liked it, but that doesn’t make it any less true. I watched Kenzi and Amber Ryan destroy one another, and realized that I have to pretty much do the same to Crystal at Night of Glory III.
I was thoroughly impressed with the show, and I hopped on the plane to go back home. Like always Allie would be there to pick me up, I would have normally driven, but 13 hours is a long drive, Those days are thankfully over. But airports, and planes? All that has never left since the Army. But even still, on this long plane ride, I got to think about my match with Crystal Millar, and how best to go about wrestling her.
In between the autographs, selfies and other photo ops, I did finally get some time to sit and think. Yes, even on a redeye, the planes are full of fans. Some of them even follow LAW wherever they go. That’s some dedication.
I landed, and once again, even at 11pm, Allie was there, a cup of coffee in her hand, and a smile on her face.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
She gave me a huge hug, even though she was dead tired. She helped put the bags in the car and we drove off.
“Where were you coming from?”
“Colorado”
Allie gave me a knowing look.
“Did you bring back anything?”
“No, was I supposed to?”
“They don’t have anything good?”
“Allie, are you asking me if I brought you back weed?”
Allie shrugged.
“You didn’t. So, no.”
I just shook my head.
“We’re in Cali. Weed is like it’s own business here. Plus you don’t even need to be smoking it. I swear if I ever see you smoking it I’ll fucking slap you.
Allie threw her hands up as she sipped her coffee and yawned.
“Okay, touchy on that. It was just a joke. Relax.”
“I’m fine, Allie.”
Allie shook out the cobwebs, as she stared at the road.
“Are you okay?”
“Just tired.”
“I can see that. Do you want me to drive?”
“I got it. That’s why I brought the coffee.”
I looked at the quarter drunk Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and back at Allie.
“It probably hasn’t kicked in yet. Let me drive Allie.”
“I said I got it. We’re almost back there anyway.”
Allie was being stubborn, I always hate when she’s stubborn.
“Allie, you don’t need to drive if you’re tired. The last thing I want is for you to get either pulled over or in an accident. Come on.”
Allie looked at me for a split second before refocusing on the road. She knew I wasn’t about to let this go. After a couple of blocks, she pulled into a gas station and parked.
“Allie, it’s late, you’re tired.”
“I know, I know…”
We switched places and Allie plopped herself into the passenger side and buckled in and I assumed the wheel. I continued our drive which would be another 10 minutes.
“Where’s the next show?”
“Minneapolis.”
“Last big show of the year, right?”
“Yeah. Got a title defense, but who knows with the booking, They may have another title defense if they want to. But, I’ll be ready for that too.”
“Always with the tough girl attitude.”
Snark.
“It’s who I am, Allie. I’ve always been this way. You know me.”
“So, who are you wrestling? Crystal something…?”
“Yeah. I swear they always seem to match me up with people like her. I’m like a magnet for stupid people sometimes I swear. Can’t ever seem to get away from them. That’s for damn sure.”
“You gonna beat her?”
“Oh hell yeah, I’m gonna beat her ass. I’ve never really wanted to beat somebody up as bad as I do her.”
“Nice…”
“Yeah, but for now, I just wanna relax, spend a few days at home just getting away from everything. Just, chill, you know? Just a week and then I can get back on the grind. Plus, Veteran’s day and all. Maybe go out and get a free meal. Somewhere silly and get like a small sandwich and fries for my service.”
I laughed to myself.
“I always think those are kind of waste. Like, maybe I want a big damn steak or something, but instead you’re giving me this. Sometimes it feels like a gyp. Although… it is nice that they do that and all. They don’t really have to I guess.”
I looked over at Allie and realized at that point I was talking to myself. Allie had fallen asleep.
“Good thing we switched.”
I drove the rest of the way home, and finally pulled into the driveway. Whenever Allie picked me up, she stayed the night at my house. It was kind of… her payment I guess. Though I did always offer her money and she always refused. I gently woke her up touching her shoulder.
“Hey. We’re home.”
“Okay…”
She stumbled out of the car and I unlocked the door and let her in. I grabbed my bags from the trunk as Allie found her way to the couch where she was soon fast asleep again. I settled all my bags down. Jumped into the shower, since even a 2 hour plane ride made me feel dirty. I hopped in my bed and went to sleep, as the week of rest I sorely needed was now on the horizon.
The next day Allie was up early, making breakfast. I smelled the eggs and bacon and Allie was hard at work slaving over the stove. I awoke earlier than I wanted to, but I had to be nice to Allie, she was going the extra mile. I walked out to greet her and she already had everything laid out.
“Good morning.”
“The coffee kicked in, didn’t it?”
“At like 3am.” She answered, flustered.
“What have you been doing this whole time?”
“I tossed and turned on the couch for 20 minutes, then I tried to read a book, and then watch the news, but everything is fucking depressing.”
“No shit.”
“So, they aren’t gonna deport you in January are they?”
I raised an eyebrow to Allie.
“No. I was born here. My dad and my brothers were born here. They really can’t deport us, it’s a violation of human rights.”
“It doesn’t seem like Trump really cares about laws.”
“I know. But, fuck… I don’t know. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
I looked around, trying to find some way to change the subject.
“When did you start making these?”
“Like 20 minutes ago.”
I sat down at the table, and looked up at Allie.
“You know, you don’t have to do this kind of stuff. It’s really okay.”
“I can’t make you breakfast?”
“I’m not saying I don’t appreciate it, I’m saying you don’t have to do this for me. You do enough as it is.”
“Think of it as my Veteran’s day gift.”
She smirked and all I could do was shake my head.
“Thank you.”
“Hey, it’s the least I can do.”
She sat down across from me, staring at me for a few seconds as I ate. I could almost feel her eyes on me as I continued eating, not looking up at her.
“Why are you staring Allie?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Didn’t really give me a choice there, did you?”
“Seriously…”
“What’s up?”
“Does it bother you when people say stuff like that?”
“Like what?”
“Thank you for your service?”
I look up at her finally, the question asked, I never really thought about before. My eyes darted around the room, looking for some kind of answer.
“I don’t know, I don’t really even think much about it. Why?”
“I don’t know, it’s like phrase that everybody throws around, but I feel like nobody means. Like, it’s as phony as some stranger saying “how’s it going?” They don’t mean it, they don’t care how your day is going, they’re just making small talk.”
“I don’t really call attention to my background.”
She gave me the stink eye.
“You’re twitter handle is @armystronggabby.”
“So? I don’t go around going “hey, respect me, I was Army” or anything like that. If people are nice about it, it’s cool. But no one is making them say “thank you” Most people just do it. It doesn’t bother me if they do or not.”
“I don’t know, it makes me mad when people do it, because most of them don’t even mean it. It’s likie they are obligated when they know you’re a Vet.”
“Some do, and that’s whatever. Some don’t say anything. It’s fine too. I know who I am and what I did. So I’m comfortable with the whole thing.”
“Oh… okay.”
Allie and I finished eating and got dressed for the day. Allie looked at me as I sat on the couch, Netflix opened up.
“So, what are you going to do today?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“I’m gonna watch NARCOS and eat ice cream in my sweatpants all day… There, you happy?”
“Very.”
“So glad.”
Allie waved good-bye and left, leaving me to my Netflix.
A week of rest, and then, back to the grind.
Vet or Champ, whichever you call me now, It’s appreciated.
Know thyself.
You know, it’s just called Déjà vu all over again isn’t it? I mean, at this time last year, I was a facing Crystal Hilton, Millar, whatever her name is now, and I was itching to beat the shit out of her, and I lost focus on really what as important at the time. And I learned from that loss. What exactly did Crystal do with the win? Nothing really, besides try and throw it in my face. Much like she does every time she wins a match, Probably every time she accomplishes anything at this point. The completely awful “hey, look at me, I did this.” Style of winning. It’s like she’s Kobe Bryant in the last few years of his career. Trying to prove he still has it, and everybody gasping at the things he did. Not out of awe, but amazement he can still do things like dunk. It was a big deal every time Kobe did anything if you watched ESPN. That’s basically Crystal Millar’s twitter. “Look at me, look how good I still am!” “Look at me, winning things.” Because it’s actually a shock when she does so. Like winning Queen of the Ring, and then promptly getting beat by fucking Kenzi Grey. Way to hold up the Queen of the Ring standard. Apparently, the Williams/Hilton/Millar group can win something, but they will instantly fumble it away like Mark Sanchez running into a lineman’s ass.
Last year, Jenny Williams won Queen of the Ring, and then got destroyed at Night of Glory. And sadly, Crystal Millar is about to make the Queen of the Ring winners one for fucking three in actually doing anything with it. Queen of the Ring is about opportunity, and yet, Crystal is about to fail, again at being at the top of any promotion. And you wanna know why? Because Crystal stopped being interesting a long time ago. When’s the last time any of us were ever really impressed with Crystal? I’m not taking about that pity impressed that came when Crystal won Queen of the Ring. Because I know a bunch of us were like “wow, Crystal’s still got it.” I’m surprised the fans didn’t chant that to her at the show anyway. The fact remains, Crystal Millar, is reduced to being a sideshow, doing things for attention. She wins some chamber match, the resulting tweet is “I’m the best” Even though she came in last and half the field was already gone. It’s hardly impressive to win any big chamber when you’re the freshest of the bunch. It would have been impressive if after winning Queen of the Ring, if she had actually done anything besides embarrass herself. So now, I’m supposed to see Crystal as a serious threat to take my championship? Perhaps Crystal is the one who should be serious.
The truth of the matter is that Crystal had to step up to the plate to keep her spot after she lost to Kenzi. Much like when most of us fall, we have to get up off the ground and get back in the fight. But, do you know what happened after that triple threat match was announced? She cried like a fucking baby. “Why do I have to face so and so?!” Whaah! “This person doesn’t have the required amount of matches” whaaah. She’s one of those guys in sports games who complain to the ref after they get hit. Always with their hands up, looking for a call. Like, no bitch, you get hit like everyone else, you’re not special. There is no one above the game. But you know, it’s Crystal Millar, we’re all supposed to just cater to her, and not offer her any competition. Because she’ll just sad sack and throw a pity party for herself. I mean, she did that last year at Queen of the Ring. Acting like it’s the end of the world because she was so desperate to win and didn’t. Because that seems to be what it’s about for Crystal Millar all the time. “Praise me, love me, be my friend!” Like I told you on twitter, I’m surprised you have any friends at all. The way you treat people, the way you use them, it’s fucking disgusting. You can spend all day trashing someone, and then 5 minutes later you want to be their friend. You are seriously the fakest bitch I have ever seen. I’ve seen two faced people before, but you have like eight. You cry and whine, and then lie about it. You wanna be everybody’s friend, and then turn on them at the drop of a hat. And then you turn around and wanna be friend again! Like that shit you pull didn’t just happen. Because you wanna be popular, you wanna be the center of attention. You want praise, you want respect. As a wrestler? You deserve respect for your accomplishments, even though you show none for any of your opponents. But as a person, you are so phony and transparent, it’s no wonder everyone can see through your bullshit. You’re a sore loser, and a shitty winner. You get challenged, you cry about it. You thought it was gonna be smooth sailing, but guess what? It’s not. We all gotta work around here. And that’s really your biggest problem.
You don’t wanna work.
That seems to be a lot of people’s problems around LAW. Accomplish one thing, EARN one thing, demand everything else be handed to you. It’s fucking sad that someone who is as well-known as you, has the star-power you do, isn’t a leader. No, you wanna be the diva around here. Act like because you did X,Y, and Z two or three years ago that now, you shouldn’t have to defend your turf. Everything is too much work for you. God forbid you would have lost that triple threat match and Amy Jo or Chacalita were sitting in your spot right now. You would still be crying about it right now. All because you forgot that because you earn something, doesn’t mean you just keep it on principle. Just like this LAW championship. I earned it. Twice. And guess what? I still have to defend the thing against you at Night of Glory. I mean, is that what it’s coming down to if you win this championship? You gonna bitch about defending it every time? Your piss poor attitude says to me that you just want this championship, just to say you have it. It’s just another notch on your belt isn’t it? Another check mark on your career accomplishments list. You have ZERO interest in helping the company you hold the championship for. You just wanna have it. I bet you get pissed when you don’t win awards too. I mean, part of me can respect the competitive nature of this game, but you just wanna win, just to say you did. And rub it everyone’s face. Because it’s what you do. I am amazed anyone even speaks to you, the way you handle yourself. You have zero self-respect, and zero respect for anyone else. It’s a sad fucking combination Crystal. It really, really is.
I mean, at this point, I almost pity you. I get embarrassed for everyone involved when two or three people are having a conversation on twitter, and you feel the need to butt in, trying to fit in. Especially when it has fuck all to do with you. It’s just you, screaming for attention. You want what others have that can come naturally. But, what you have, is the result of you burning every fucking bridge you possibly can because of your shitty attitude, this is the shit you get. It’s what you deserve. You just can’t stand that other people have lives and it doesn’t always involve you. Contrary to what you may believe right now, the world does NOT revolve around Crystal Millar. It never did. To me, right now, all you are in an opponent. The next one. I don’t give a flying fuck about your personal life, your struggle to be a “Better person”, none of it. You fucked that up for yourself, and you have to live with the consequences. I mean, do you jump into conversations with people like that in real life? Do you just sit around, waiting for people to be talking about something so you can jump in and look for acceptance? Because it’s a tired act right now on twitter. I can take a week off from even looking at the thing and the moment I come back, I don’t have to look far on my feed to see you making a goddamn fool of yourself trying to be popular, or smart, or funny, or anything even close. Nobody needs you jumping into their conversations especially when you add little to nothing to it, or worse yet, you make it about you! I mean, seriously? These pathetic “what about me?” tweets constantly? How disingenuous can you possibly be? That’s why I say I almost pity you, because it’s really, really sad. But at the same time, it’s fucking infuriating because you think this shit is okay, because it’s part of your “healing process” or whatever half-assed thing you’re doing now that you’ll change in two months and go back to being a heartless bitch or whatever. Fuck, you don’t even keep your story straight day to day on twitter. This, right now, has me constantly begging the question:
“Why the fuck does anyone take Crystal Millar seriously?”
Because as it stands right now, with everything the way it is… I shouldn’t. And I know, this will motivate you, light a fire under you. And I hope it does. I really do. Because you know, deep down in your soul, everything I’m saying about you is the fucking truth. No lies are coming out of these lips. Your behavior as not only a champion, but as a person is deplorable. Everything about you, is fake. From your fake as shit smile to your fake as shit hair color. It’s quite obvious you don’t even feel comfortable in your own skin. You wanna be someone else. You wanna be something bigger than yourself. You were all about Spanish heritage for a month or so before you dropped that, because you got called out on it. You were the Rose Goddess, because you think the middle name Rose and Roses was really a fucking clever thing when it wasn’t. You were a pop star, you were this, you were that, and now the “Silver Screen Queen” And you don’t even talk about movies. You don’t even know fucking movies, do you? Oh, wait, you act in shitty straight-to-dvd bargin bin trash and you call yourself an actress. Or… no, you don’t. You just chose that nickname because in your head you think that sounded cool. No need to follow up on anything after that.
You, Crystal Millar, are just a fucking fraud.
And it’s high time someone called you out on your bullshit. And this point, probably for the fourth or fifth time. But maybe this time, you’ll get it. Though with the ego that you have, no, you won’t .You’re gonna quote some movie you’ve seen, get the quote wrong or not understand it, and think you’re clever. Pretending to be smart is not the same thing as being educated. It’s just a con, and it makes you sound stupid. But I forget, you’ll just backtrack like it never happened, much like you do when you’re faced with the truth.
I mean, it’s well documented you’re from Detroit, and yet you claim MY city of Los Angeles. You are not from here. You don’t get to rep here. I don’t give two fucks what player you like on what team or in your case, the player you didn’t even ever see fucking play, you root for your hometown team like a true fan. But even when you do it, you don’t even do it right, because you’re always talking about the Lakers, and then talking about Steph Curry. He doesn’t play for the Lakers. Get off his nuts. Get off L.A.’s nuts. Rep where you’re from. And do it the correct way, not when the mood fucking suits you.
But, I know, it’s easy to do the shit you do when you just make it up as you go along, and change your story as often as you search for acceptance and positive reinforcement. You’ve always needed a crutch. Never been one to stand on your own two goddamn feet. Well, let me tell you like it is Crystal: Life is unfair. The world fucking sucks. And it needs less fake ass bitches like you, ruining it for everyone else. You want to play both side of the fence all the time? You wanna say one thing and do another? Do that shit on someone else’s time, because I am NOT the one to listen to your redemption garbage. I heard it at least twice, and neither time were you sincere. And honestly, it sounds to me like you’ve pulled it out a time or two before LAW. A Leopard never changes it spots Crystal.
And the hilarious part is we all see it every day on twitter when you tweet. You constantly get called out for being a hypocrite. You constantly get called out for lying, and looking for attention. Maybe it’s just you being socially awkward, I don’t know, but you can’t seem to naturally be sincere or trustworthy. Everyone questions anything you do or say, that should open your eyes to how seriously screwed up your shit is. Every time you open your mouth bullshit spews forth and not one person can trust you. You simply want what other people have. You want friendship? How do you expect to have it when you backstab people so much? You are at this point, a parody of person. You want what others have, but your ego won’t allow anyone else to shine. You think that Cordy, or Nina, or anyone else wants to be friends when all you do is leave them hanging? You use them like all others. You’re not a true friend, you don’t even know the meaning of the word. You can’t be loyal to anyone, you’re not even loyal to yourself.
And you know the worst part? Your athletic prowess and ability stand the test of time, it’s just buried under this whole mountain of bullshit. Words like honor, trust, and friendship, are just that, words, to you. And that’s best case scenario. At the worst, they tools for you to get what you want. It’s embarrassing at this point Crystal. It’s a case now of what could have been, because that’s all we’ll ever really be wondering about you. If you had just kept your nose to the grind, gave your best each and every time you went out, and were humble and gracious, or fuck it, if you were a spiteful, hateful bitch the whole time, People would actually respect that. They would. But no, you wanna flip-flop and play both sides. Everything that you have said, and will say to me, or about me, in the past, present and future, no one will remember it because of the person behind those words. People who know me, know that speak the truth. They know I’m 100% real and I’m honest. You, on the other hand? Every single day, someone will call you on your bullshit. They know how fake, and phony you really are. And now, in case they didn’t know, or had their doubts… everyone else knows it too.
So call this a public service announcement or sorts.
And the worst part, or maybe the best part about this whole thing, is that I haven’t even scratched the surface of how fucking shady and selfish you are. Trust me, I got way more ammo in the magazine where this came from.
So when you sit down and listen to this, I want you to really think about what I’m saying. I want you to really listen to all that was said here today. And then look yourself in the mirror and understand that this is reality. When you and I face off at Night of Glory III, I’m coming for you fucking head. I’m coming to put you down and maybe then, maybe then, you will actually grow the fuck up and start to make the changes you really want. I really hope you actually are women enough to hold yourself to what you said about accepting this loss. Because it’s coming. I HAVE to beat you Crystal. Not because it’s notch on my belt, not to say that I did it at the biggest stage in LAW, but to just put you in your place, and make you see just how much you need to get your shit together. Trust me, I won’t be holding my breath when the match is over for that week later when you’re back to doing the same shit you’ve always done. Because I know it’s coming, fuck, everyone does.
Now you know where I stand on this, in case you didn’t before. Now you know that the LAW championship simply means more to me than it EVER will to you. When you come to take this from me, you’d better bring your “A” game. You’d better be on point, because I don’t fuck around when it comes to this championship. It’s MINE. And as such, I will be fucking crippled, blind, deaf, and on life support before I simply hand it to fake bitch like you.
I’ll be waiting to see and listen to you put on the act you’re going to do when you finally do cut your promo, about how much this championship means to you, about how much you may respect me, and all that happy horseshit that no one is gonna buy. You’d be better off just admitting that you will whatever it takes to win. At least that would be somewhat believable.
But deep down, you know the same truth I do:
It just won’t be enough.
I went to Colorado to add the final piece of hype to myself vs Crystal. I stayed and watched the women there bust their ass, and after each lady came through the curtain, I was there to shake their hand, unless they blew me off, but that’s alright, “I can deal with those bitches at a later time” I said in my head. I went out there, and cut my promo, and I said exactly how I feel. I gave Crystal my response, and she may not have liked it, but that doesn’t make it any less true. I watched Kenzi and Amber Ryan destroy one another, and realized that I have to pretty much do the same to Crystal at Night of Glory III.
I was thoroughly impressed with the show, and I hopped on the plane to go back home. Like always Allie would be there to pick me up, I would have normally driven, but 13 hours is a long drive, Those days are thankfully over. But airports, and planes? All that has never left since the Army. But even still, on this long plane ride, I got to think about my match with Crystal Millar, and how best to go about wrestling her.
In between the autographs, selfies and other photo ops, I did finally get some time to sit and think. Yes, even on a redeye, the planes are full of fans. Some of them even follow LAW wherever they go. That’s some dedication.
I landed, and once again, even at 11pm, Allie was there, a cup of coffee in her hand, and a smile on her face.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
She gave me a huge hug, even though she was dead tired. She helped put the bags in the car and we drove off.
“Where were you coming from?”
“Colorado”
Allie gave me a knowing look.
“Did you bring back anything?”
“No, was I supposed to?”
“They don’t have anything good?”
“Allie, are you asking me if I brought you back weed?”
Allie shrugged.
“You didn’t. So, no.”
I just shook my head.
“We’re in Cali. Weed is like it’s own business here. Plus you don’t even need to be smoking it. I swear if I ever see you smoking it I’ll fucking slap you.
Allie threw her hands up as she sipped her coffee and yawned.
“Okay, touchy on that. It was just a joke. Relax.”
“I’m fine, Allie.”
Allie shook out the cobwebs, as she stared at the road.
“Are you okay?”
“Just tired.”
“I can see that. Do you want me to drive?”
“I got it. That’s why I brought the coffee.”
I looked at the quarter drunk Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and back at Allie.
“It probably hasn’t kicked in yet. Let me drive Allie.”
“I said I got it. We’re almost back there anyway.”
Allie was being stubborn, I always hate when she’s stubborn.
“Allie, you don’t need to drive if you’re tired. The last thing I want is for you to get either pulled over or in an accident. Come on.”
Allie looked at me for a split second before refocusing on the road. She knew I wasn’t about to let this go. After a couple of blocks, she pulled into a gas station and parked.
“Allie, it’s late, you’re tired.”
“I know, I know…”
We switched places and Allie plopped herself into the passenger side and buckled in and I assumed the wheel. I continued our drive which would be another 10 minutes.
“Where’s the next show?”
“Minneapolis.”
“Last big show of the year, right?”
“Yeah. Got a title defense, but who knows with the booking, They may have another title defense if they want to. But, I’ll be ready for that too.”
“Always with the tough girl attitude.”
Snark.
“It’s who I am, Allie. I’ve always been this way. You know me.”
“So, who are you wrestling? Crystal something…?”
“Yeah. I swear they always seem to match me up with people like her. I’m like a magnet for stupid people sometimes I swear. Can’t ever seem to get away from them. That’s for damn sure.”
“You gonna beat her?”
“Oh hell yeah, I’m gonna beat her ass. I’ve never really wanted to beat somebody up as bad as I do her.”
“Nice…”
“Yeah, but for now, I just wanna relax, spend a few days at home just getting away from everything. Just, chill, you know? Just a week and then I can get back on the grind. Plus, Veteran’s day and all. Maybe go out and get a free meal. Somewhere silly and get like a small sandwich and fries for my service.”
I laughed to myself.
“I always think those are kind of waste. Like, maybe I want a big damn steak or something, but instead you’re giving me this. Sometimes it feels like a gyp. Although… it is nice that they do that and all. They don’t really have to I guess.”
I looked over at Allie and realized at that point I was talking to myself. Allie had fallen asleep.
“Good thing we switched.”
I drove the rest of the way home, and finally pulled into the driveway. Whenever Allie picked me up, she stayed the night at my house. It was kind of… her payment I guess. Though I did always offer her money and she always refused. I gently woke her up touching her shoulder.
“Hey. We’re home.”
“Okay…”
She stumbled out of the car and I unlocked the door and let her in. I grabbed my bags from the trunk as Allie found her way to the couch where she was soon fast asleep again. I settled all my bags down. Jumped into the shower, since even a 2 hour plane ride made me feel dirty. I hopped in my bed and went to sleep, as the week of rest I sorely needed was now on the horizon.
The next day Allie was up early, making breakfast. I smelled the eggs and bacon and Allie was hard at work slaving over the stove. I awoke earlier than I wanted to, but I had to be nice to Allie, she was going the extra mile. I walked out to greet her and she already had everything laid out.
“Good morning.”
“The coffee kicked in, didn’t it?”
“At like 3am.” She answered, flustered.
“What have you been doing this whole time?”
“I tossed and turned on the couch for 20 minutes, then I tried to read a book, and then watch the news, but everything is fucking depressing.”
“No shit.”
“So, they aren’t gonna deport you in January are they?”
I raised an eyebrow to Allie.
“No. I was born here. My dad and my brothers were born here. They really can’t deport us, it’s a violation of human rights.”
“It doesn’t seem like Trump really cares about laws.”
“I know. But, fuck… I don’t know. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
I looked around, trying to find some way to change the subject.
“When did you start making these?”
“Like 20 minutes ago.”
I sat down at the table, and looked up at Allie.
“You know, you don’t have to do this kind of stuff. It’s really okay.”
“I can’t make you breakfast?”
“I’m not saying I don’t appreciate it, I’m saying you don’t have to do this for me. You do enough as it is.”
“Think of it as my Veteran’s day gift.”
She smirked and all I could do was shake my head.
“Thank you.”
“Hey, it’s the least I can do.”
She sat down across from me, staring at me for a few seconds as I ate. I could almost feel her eyes on me as I continued eating, not looking up at her.
“Why are you staring Allie?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Didn’t really give me a choice there, did you?”
“Seriously…”
“What’s up?”
“Does it bother you when people say stuff like that?”
“Like what?”
“Thank you for your service?”
I look up at her finally, the question asked, I never really thought about before. My eyes darted around the room, looking for some kind of answer.
“I don’t know, I don’t really even think much about it. Why?”
“I don’t know, it’s like phrase that everybody throws around, but I feel like nobody means. Like, it’s as phony as some stranger saying “how’s it going?” They don’t mean it, they don’t care how your day is going, they’re just making small talk.”
“I don’t really call attention to my background.”
She gave me the stink eye.
“You’re twitter handle is @armystronggabby.”
“So? I don’t go around going “hey, respect me, I was Army” or anything like that. If people are nice about it, it’s cool. But no one is making them say “thank you” Most people just do it. It doesn’t bother me if they do or not.”
“I don’t know, it makes me mad when people do it, because most of them don’t even mean it. It’s likie they are obligated when they know you’re a Vet.”
“Some do, and that’s whatever. Some don’t say anything. It’s fine too. I know who I am and what I did. So I’m comfortable with the whole thing.”
“Oh… okay.”
Allie and I finished eating and got dressed for the day. Allie looked at me as I sat on the couch, Netflix opened up.
“So, what are you going to do today?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“I’m gonna watch NARCOS and eat ice cream in my sweatpants all day… There, you happy?”
“Very.”
“So glad.”
Allie waved good-bye and left, leaving me to my Netflix.
A week of rest, and then, back to the grind.
Vet or Champ, whichever you call me now, It’s appreciated.
Know thyself.