Post by Kenzi Grey on Jan 6, 2018 20:10:16 GMT -5
~~The PrincessTwilightSexyFang podcast, as viewed on hotgoths.fuckyeah~~
That’s right! Its your reason for being, both your Alpha and Omega, the inspiration AND star of your wettest dreams, Sarah Selena Grey-Freakin’-Lacklan here for the latest edition of the highest-rated vlog in the history of wrestling-related vlogs. Now, I know what you are all saying:
“But Mistress! Goddess! The owner of the feet I worship and wish to drool upon! I thought you were DED!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭”
SLIGHT exaggeration. Just a SMIDGEN of an over-sell by the wrestling community. YES, I had an accident. And YES, I am physically out of commision for the foreseeable future. But! Oh, holy hell, BUT! That hasn’t stopped me from being around! That hasn’t stopped me from being at EVERY Ladies All-Star show. That hasn’t stopped me from watching my Beloved, that Hawt Mama with the Sweetest Booty in ALL the Land, become the CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS. That hasn’t stopped me from being the very heart and freakin’ SOUL of the Ladies All-Star #Classof2017! And with that in mind, I am here to bequeath unto you what might very well be the single greatest moments of your lives…
LAW #75 PREDICTIONS!
MATCH #1
Elizabeth Blackwell vs. Darlin' Clementine
N-E-Ways…
Now, as far as I can tell, this opening match between two members of the #Classof2018 is basically a cartoon character versus a cannibal. Like...is that right? I mean, redheads are cool and all, so I can’t say too much against Liz-B for that, but all I have seen from her is ZOMG CAKE. Now, if she had been all ZOMG CAKEPOPS, then I would give her more credit. But against a cannibal? And in her DEBUT?! I think she’s fucked. Clementine for the win!
MATCH #2
(NON-TITLE)
The Boardwalk Angels vs. The Naughty Girls (Kat and Jessika)
Ready?
Ready?!
Don’t bet against the 😇Angels😇.
EVER.
Now, Jessika is one of my favorite people in the whole freakin’ world. I mean, hell, she’s the official Poet Laureate of the Great Country of Lacklanland (Real place, Sams!). But I don’t think even SHE can do much against the Angels, who have been on a massive tear in LAW for, like, a year. Angels for the win!
MATCH #3
Alicia Lukus vs. Kayla Winters Creepy French Chick
MATCH #4
(NON-TITLE)
Maki vs. Kenzi Grey
Kenzi: My Beloved, my spouse, my partner, my everything, the light in the darkness who stood at my side while I was in that coma and has helped me with my recovery every step of the way with nothing but adoration and devotion 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Maki: THE FUCKING WHORE WHO IS TRYING TO GET IN MY WIFE’S PANTS
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
For the love of EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY, Maki had better not find herself down a dark alley with my super coolio high-powered motorized wheelchair closing in on her!
MATCH #5
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
Sam “I make shit up and blatantly lie so that I can fit my narrative and then blame the world whenever I lose because I’m a little bitch” Tolson vs. Ashley “I can’t make up my mind on whether or not I am cool and I am just gonna retract everything I said for the last two days because I can’t hold my alcohol” Williams
Losers: The fans
Bonus: I hope that lying piece of shit Katie Anderson shows up so that we can just, like, set the ring on fire and take all three of them out of our misery 🤗
MATCH #6
(NON-TITLE)
Gabby Camacho vs. Angelica Vaughn
MATCH #7
LAW CHAOS CHAMPIONSHIP
Kate Steele (C) vs. Roxanne Cotton
MAIN EVENT
LAW MARQUEE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Crystal Hilton (C) vs. Stacy Jones
“BORRRRRRINNNNNNNG! BORRRRRRINNNNNNNG!”
And:
“Who the fuck cares?!” *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP* “Who the fuck cares?!” *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
As well as:
“Turn the channel! Turn the channel!”
And, like, five minutes in:
“Kill me, please! Kill me, please!”
Man, I can’t WAIT for LAW to straight-up get CANCELLED in the MIDDLE of this match due to the entire wrestling community turning off the TV 😄😄😄😄😄
N-E-Ways, that’s it for this week. Tune in next time when I recap this show and drop more (amazingly accurate) predictions for LAW #76...which will probably be in a month!