The Princess Twilight Sexy Fang Podcast [LAW 75 Predictions] Jan 6, 2018 20:10:16 GMT -5
Post by Kenzi Grey on Jan 6, 2018 20:10:16 GMT -5
~~The PrincessTwilightSexyFang podcast, as viewed on hotgoths.fuckyeah~~
‘Sup, 🧛♂️Fang Gang!🧛♀️
That’s right! Its your reason for being, both your Alpha and Omega, the inspiration AND star of your wettest dreams, Sarah Selena Grey-Freakin’-Lacklan here for the latest edition of the highest-rated vlog in the history of wrestling-related vlogs. Now, I know what you are all saying:
“But Mistress! Goddess! The owner of the feet I worship and wish to drool upon! I thought you were DED!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭”
SLIGHT exaggeration. Just a SMIDGEN of an over-sell by the wrestling community. YES, I had an accident. And YES, I am physically out of commision for the foreseeable future. But! Oh, holy hell, BUT! That hasn’t stopped me from being around! That hasn’t stopped me from being at EVERY Ladies All-Star show. That hasn’t stopped me from watching my Beloved, that Hawt Mama with the Sweetest Booty in ALL the Land, become the CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS. That hasn’t stopped me from being the very heart and freakin’ SOUL of the Ladies All-Star #Classof2017! And with that in mind, I am here to bequeath unto you what might very well be the single greatest moments of your lives…
LAW #75 PREDICTIONS!
Elizabeth Blackwell vs. Darlin' Clementine
Real quick: Wanna say that the massive influx of talent is AWESOME to see! Now, I’m not saying that the #Classof2018 will even be able to hold a candle to the #Classof2017, but what I AM saying is that, once word got out that the SINGLE WORST DRAWING CHAMPION IN LAW HISTORY got dethroned, a whole SLEW of people are showing up. Can’t wait for the Gabster Era (Part 2) to sell out every week and REALLY show how shitty 💩DA CHAMP💩 was.
Now, as far as I can tell, this opening match between two members of the #Classof2018 is basically a cartoon character versus a cannibal. Like...is that right? I mean, redheads are cool and all, so I can’t say too much against Liz-B for that, but all I have seen from her is ZOMG CAKE. Now, if she had been all ZOMG CAKEPOPS, then I would give her more credit. But against a cannibal? And in her DEBUT?! I think she’s fucked. Clementine for the win!
The Boardwalk Angels vs. The Naughty Girls (Kat and Jessika)
Here’s the truth...and I want everyone to write this down…
Don’t bet against the 😇Angels😇.
Now, Jessika is one of my favorite people in the whole freakin’ world. I mean, hell, she’s the official Poet Laureate of the Great Country of Lacklanland (Real place, Sams!). But I don’t think even SHE can do much against the Angels, who have been on a massive tear in LAW for, like, a year. Angels for the win!
Alicia Lukus vs.
Kayla Winters Creepy French Chick
I think Kayla got lucky here. No idea why she’s out of the match, and I don’t really care to look into it, but I think she got lucky. Lukus is known all throughout the business as a tough-as-nails fighter (and MAY turn on my Beloved like crazy 😒) with a KILLER hip attack. And lucky for Lukus, instead of fighting one of LAW’s veterans who is a staple of our championship matches, she instead gets to fight the weirdo french chick, who, as far as I can tell, is just some half-baked Jessika rip-off. Lukus for the win in, like, 27 seconds.
Maki vs. Kenzi Grey
Gee, let me think.
Kenzi: My Beloved, my spouse, my partner, my everything, the light in the darkness who stood at my side while I was in that coma and has helped me with my recovery every step of the way with nothing but adoration and devotion 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Maki: THE FUCKING WHORE WHO IS TRYING TO GET IN MY WIFE’S PANTS
For the love of EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY, Maki had better not find herself down a dark alley with my super coolio high-powered motorized wheelchair closing in on her!
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
Sam “I make shit up and blatantly lie so that I can fit my narrative and then blame the world whenever I lose because I’m a little bitch” Tolson vs. Ashley “I can’t make up my mind on whether or not I am cool and I am just gonna retract everything I said for the last two days because I can’t hold my alcohol” Williams
Losers: The fans
Bonus: I hope that lying piece of shit Katie Anderson shows up so that we can just, like, set the ring on fire and take all three of them out of our misery 🤗
Gabby Camacho vs. Angelica Vaughn
Now THIS is a freakin’ match! The Gabster heroically fought off THE SINGLE SHITTIEST CHAMPION OF ALL TIME and is riding high, but my dear Angelica has been fighting all across the world thanks to LAW, the CWC, and Rose City. I think that this is going to be the match of the night, and a little birdie told me that Angie will be looking to get a little training in with the TWO PEOPLE who BEAT HER before and after her title win. Hmmm...I wonder who they are? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
LAW CHAOS CHAMPIONSHIP
Kate Steele (C) vs. Roxanne Cotton
The OTHER match I am really looking forward to see. Now, I MAY have been a LITTLE mean to Steele over the last year. You know, that whole trying to steal my wife...thing. And she and I have beat the everloving crap out of each other and traded some pinfalls. And Roxanne is...um...one of my wife’s friends. So there is that. I expect the two to go to town on one another and really give us a show, as the last match the two were in was freakin’ great. Now, as for the winner? I suppose it depends on this: Has Kate lost any weight? I mean, the ONLY reason why she got a win on me was because Ms. Tubs-A-Lot packed on, like, 20 pounds of fat for our match and I just couldn’t power out of her rollup. So, I guess it depends on that, ya know? If Mack-Ro has made Steele put down the freakin’ fork for once? Roxanne has this. If not? If Steele is still 🐷porkin’🐷 it? Not so sure.
LAW MARQUEE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Crystal Hilton (C) vs. Stacy Jones
This match will be full of crowd chants. Chants like:
“Who the fuck cares?!” *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP* “Who the fuck cares?!” *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*
As well as:
“Turn the channel! Turn the channel!”
And, like, five minutes in:
“Kill me, please! Kill me, please!”
Man, I can’t WAIT for LAW to straight-up get CANCELLED in the MIDDLE of this match due to the entire wrestling community turning off the TV 😄😄😄😄😄
N-E-Ways, that’s it for this week. Tune in next time when I recap this show and drop more (amazingly accurate) predictions for LAW #76...which will probably be in a month!