Post by Nyako on Nov 22, 2014 23:43:13 GMT -5
Personal Blog 11/22/14 – 9:28pm
The eve before the biggest match of my career to date. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about how things will go tomorrow. This match among many other things has been weighing heavily on my mind.
I honestly don’t think it hit me how close I was to this opportunity to win the Marquee title up until now. Even after I beat Jennifer Drew to win the top contender spot it didn’t hit me. After I trade barbs with Salinas and trying to prove the shot was rightfully mine, it didn’t hit me. Even after everyone close to me told me I should be focused on this match it didn’t hit me. Hell even when CTN was starting this campaign blitz to make me their face of the company while it had a presence in LAW it didn’t hit me.
Honestly right now, this moment, I’m beginning to understand the magnitude of the situation. Yes I’ve talked smack to those who stood up to me saying I wasn’t worthy, and also made comments to the current champion, Gabriela Comacho but really, it wasn’t until this time of night that I get it, I understand….and boy does it scare the crap out of me.
I could say that’s why I let other things occupy my mind since winning the shot, and in part it may be true. If I distracted myself from the realness of it. I wouldn’t be fazed by it. I wouldn’t get the chills that come with a big opportunity. I wouldn’t be scared shitless of the situation and start to wonder if I can actually pull it off.
Tonight though the reality hit me like a Mack truck. Am I pretending to be something I’m not. In my career as a wrestler, I never came close to personal accolades once. Yes I’ve won tag team gold before but it’s not the same. I’m not trying to downplay it because I was on cloud nine when it happened, but I had to rely on someone else to make it happen. This time though it is all me and only me. Yes I have my supporters, my reconciled sister, Kymiku “Oni” Shinsuzuki, my adopted sister, “SoLo” Song Xu Lo, my agent, Syn and even Maleek Raheem. At the same time I have my detractors who are probably waiting for me to fall flat on my face. The problem is that’s who I’m hearing in my head now.
I’m hearing all the doubts, all the nastiness, all the torment, and it’s starting to make me doubt myself.
I could have written another entry saying how I will beat Gabriella and that I will be the victor of the match. But truth be told, I’m struggling to believe those words. Part of it maybe the fact I haven’t heard word one from Comacho since the tag team match, giving me her thoughts on what has happened and what she expects to happen. It’s driving me absolutely insane anticipating what she haste say. I could put on a false brave front and say I scared her so much she got nothing to say and just doesn’t want to make the inevitable even worse for her, but as I said, though would ring false.
I don’t doubt she is training hard to retain her title. I’m sure she may even have some of the same thoughts running through her head. Will she come out on top this time around or is her time as champ over. Was what I did in the tag match the real me, and she needs to worry that I may do the same again just to secure a win or am I a person of my word when I say I have no intention of using dirty tricks to win. Has she been living on borrowed time as the Marquee Champ or will I just be another stepping stone for her to solidify a nice title run.
I’m sure those questions are eating her up inside just like I have mine own eating at me. I guess in the end though they really don’t matter because when we step in that ring all doubt will disappear. At least that’s what I’m, telling myself. Once I set foot in that ring, my only thoughts will be how I will beat Comacho as I’m sure hers will be on how to beat me.
Doubts can be a power weapon to make you not trust yourself. To make you weak, to make you feel inadequate. Like I said that’s what they are doing to me tonight. Yet still behind the doubt, I remember back when I was younger and I doubted I’d live long enough to even make it to my teens, let alone to where I am now. I turned that doubt at the time to determination. The fear did creeping and almost consumed me. But just like now I was alone and had to turn them in to strength. Just like now I had to stand on my own two feet and survive. Just like now, I had to go into tomorrow and push the doubts away and focus on what needs to be done.
I realize what position I am in and how many people here in LAW alone wish they were in the same boat as me. And I doubt any of them would admit they feel the same way I do going into this match, but I know the truth. Everyone doubts themselves when challenges arise. It’s just if you are willing to admit you have them and fight past them or it take you down with them.
I will survive tomorrow one way or another. I want to walk into that match with my head held high and honor my family. I want to show people were right into pushing me to where I need to be. I want them to know because of them, my doubts may have power over me tonight but when it comes time, they will die away. I may be doing this alone like I’ve said, but I’m doing it for more than just me. I’m doing it to show those who’ve been by my side during this ride that it was worth it and I’m showing those who added to my doubts, that the only fueled me more. As I said I’m using the doubt as a weapon. Only time will tell if it will be effective or not. I just hope Comacho is ready to find out with me.
November 22, 2014
Tampa, Florida
Late Night Stroll
Tampa, Florida
Late Night Stroll
Nyako found herself on the street of Tampa. She tried to settle down for the night so she would be fully rested for her match tomorrow, but her mind would not let her catch a break.
She had spent time with her sister to talk strategy on who to come at Gabriella, and even got a few words of advice from Syn that weren’t her usual’ ”focus” ones. Yet she could not get her mind to stop worrying about everything.
She had thought maybe burning off steam at a gym would help but all it did was put her brain into even more of an overdrive. She thought about trying to find someone to hook up with for the night to relieve some tension but she was cautious of the same thing happening to her that happened to Oni. The last thing she wanted was for news to get out about the freaky Shinsuzuki sisters, and how they couldn’t keep it in their pants. Yes CTN was throwing all their support behind her but they believed any publicity was good publicity, whether it was embarrassing or not. Hell they probably were waiting for some type of kink to fall out of her closest since they seemed to thrive on the depraved.
She herself was no saint. But she did keep things of a personal nature private. The closest she came to letting it out was when Maleek set her up with Priya the eve before the contender’s match. That was one reason she toyed with the idea of finding a friend for the night since it seemed to relax her so much then. But alas she thought better of it and continued to walk on the streets to clear her head.
Her thoughts trailed off to Gabriella Comacho and what she was doing for the match. It did both Nyako somewhat that Comacho hadn’t addressed her apology yet. She asked Syn if she said anything on twitter but Syn told her negative but not to worry about it. If she forgave her, good, if not oh well. In the grand scheme of things what did it matter. Either way they would face each other for the title and beat each other until one had to give up or couldn’t compete anymore.
The statement rang true yet still Nyako was one to treasure respect too much to not let what Comacho thought her just be ignored. She knew better of it et still. There hadn’t been too many in LAW to date that Nyako felt as high of regard as Comacho. Maybe because there was a sight attraction there but maybe it was because she never seemed two face about anything. She was the same person no matter when she saw her and that meant a lot to Nyako. She didn’t flip the switch like some have she stayed true to who she was. But the silence on her part made Nyako start to wonder if she still was the same.
“Hey aren’t you that Nyako chick from LAW?” as stranger said walking up to her on the street.
Nyako was snapped to the present, away from her thoughts as she focused on the person talking to her.
“Yeah you’re that chick. The silent assassin or something right.”
Nyako noticed a college aged couple standing before her. She looked the guy and the women over,, not sue how to react. Despite Maleek's push to get her to be more ‘friendly’ and ‘open’. Nyako still struggled with being a people person.
She gave a small nod and a weak smile toward them, trying to come off approachable.
“Yes that’s me. I’m happy to meet fans of LAW. Are you here for the PPV?” she said trying to make small talk.
The woman looked at Nyako with sort of an attitude, while the guy seemed to be all smiles. Nyako wasn’t sure why the young woman took issue with her and thought possibly she did something wrong.
“Man I wish. A buddy of mine was supposed to get tickets, but his dumbass lost the money so now we’re up shit creek.”
“I’m sorry to hear that…”
“Yeah gonna have to catch the results online or something. Beth was looking forward to watching Evie Taylor in the world title match.”
Now it hit Nyako why the woman was giving her the stink eye. She must have been a big time fan of Evelyn Taylor, and probably felt she was robbed in the tag match a few weeks ago of a win. She probably also held the same opinion of Nyako her idol did of her. Nyako knew Taylor had influence and now saw the extent of it.
The young man looked at his girlfriend and then back to Nyako. He pulled his girl closer to him giving her a slight squeeze, trying to get her to stop staring daggers at Nyako.
“Sorry, she’s kind of pissed about the tag match. See I believe you when you said you didn’t mean to do what you did and you’d take it back if you could. But she’s drinking the Taylor Kool-Aid.” He said with a snort trying to diffuse the situation.
“Only reason you believe her is because you want to do her Jacob.” Beth said with a sneer on her face still trying to stare down Nyako.
Great just what I needed tonight, a psycho, jealous Taylor fan, Nyako thought to herself. She tried the give a bigger smile to try to smooth things over but all it seemed to do was agitate the woman even more.
“I hope Comacho wipes the ring with you tomorrow. I hope she makes you pay for what you did. After that I hope Evie comes down and teaches you a lesson too. You and you’re skank sis…”
Before she could finish her sentence Nyako found herself mere millimeters from the face of the woman, trying hard not to take her head off. Jacob quickly put himself between the two women, trying to protect his girlfriend as he knew how close she waste getting hr ass beat.
“See I told you Jacob, their all alike, to damn hotheaded and can’t be trusted. Evie said as much, she called it like it is. I knew the nice act she tried to play in LAW was fake.”
Jacob turned to her with a look of annoyance on his face. “Shut up Beth, you’re the one provoking the situation. For fuck sake, she didn’t even do anything until you started to mention her sister.”
That was a trigger point for Nyako. Anything involving Oni always set her on edge. Before LAW it was because she wanted nothing to do with her, now in LAW it was because she wanted to protect her, and the last thing she needed was some fake ass skinny bitch talking trash about her sister. As much as it bothered her about the comments of Gabriella beating her all over the ring and Taylor also after the match, the one about Oni made her lose all sense of restraint almost.
“”Well the truth hurts. She was the one who let herself get filmed by banging someone in a dirty alley like common street tra…”
Jacob looked at her sternly and it made her swallow her words for the moment. After she went silent still fuming a bit her turned back to Nyako to apologize.
“I’m so sorry, like I said she’s an Evie Taylor fan and very hotheaded. She really has a hard time keeping her thoughts to herself no matter how much she should.” He said directing the comment to her more than to Nyako.
Beth mocked him, unhappy he was not taking her side on things.
Nyako regained some of her composure as she was happy to see not everyone seemed to drink from the Taylor fountain.
“That’s why fans are called fans. They get fanatical about things.” Nyako tuned her eyes to Bath. “I can’t stop her in believing what she wants. It’s her right too. It’s just you cross a line when you talk about my sister. She has done more than enough to make up for her past, but just like it seems Taylor has started. You make one mistake and it erases every other good thing you do.”
She looked back at Jacob. “Look how about I have my agent hold a few tickets for you and whoever else you want to bring to Night of Fury.” She said.
She was trying to show her appreciation of him stopping her from doing something she would most definitely regret later on. Not only would it feed into Taylor’s view of her, but it also may sway Comacho into thinking of the worse of her, and he knew CTN would eat it up like the jackals they were.
“No, you don’t have to really. I wasn’t trying to hit you up for any freebies honestly. Hell I should be paying you thanks for not you know, hurting my girlfriend.”
They both looked at Beth who felt she was wrongly accused of something despite her being the one to instigate it.
“No, it would be my honor to have you and your guest there as my guest for the night. Who knows maybe your girlfriend will get her wish and not only see me get my ‘ass whooped’ by Gabriella Comacho, but also my sister to in her match. Maybe she can witness Taylor rub it in our faces on how we deserved to lose while she wins the World title.” As Nyako spoke she could tell the snark creeping in to her words, she tried to pull it back.
“Who knows it will be a big night. Me myself, I hope Gabriella and I can come to an understanding on put on one hell of a match with me hopefully coming out on top though.”
“You sure about this. Like I said…”
“It is my pleasure.” Nyako said as she pulled out her phone out of her pocket to call Syn to secure some tickets. “How would 4 seats sound?”
Jacob’s face brightened up. “That’s awesome really.” He turned to Beth “See Taylor don’t know what the hell she’s talking about. I told you she too high on her damn self to be able to talk about anyone else.”
Beth ignored his comment.
Finishing up the call, Nyako said bye to Jacob and gave a snarky grin and finger wave to Beth before walking away. She could hear the couple yelling at each other, mainly Beth for not sticking up for hr once again, and how the only reason he like Nyako was because of the centerfold she did in the CTN magazine.
As their voices faded away, Nyako began to think. Was it true the only reason he was nice to her was because of the image Maleek had hr portraying as of late or was it really about her skill. She wondered if she was alienating those she considered friends once and was only gaining popularity cause of how much skin she showed. Maybe that was why Comacho had been silent. Maybe she saw the person Nyako was turning into and didn’t want any part of it.
The doubts came back into her mind and Nyako had a feeling it was going to be a long sleepless night. Maybe she would get the answers she wanted later on. Or maybe like Syn it didn’t matter. She needed to wry about the match and not about respect. What ever happened, it would come to a head tomorrow.