Post by Violet Ripley on May 14, 2015 11:41:25 GMT -5
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven
~*@*~
They say your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die.
I dunno about that but I do know that it's calm.
~*@*~
I open my eyes and the world around me is vibrant. In front of me is a blue sea, so clear you can see the bottom. The landscape is lush rolling hills and tall trees. Even the breeze makes me feel at ease.
Where was I?
Looking down I am dressed in a billowy blue dress. It's a sheer material and gets easily caught in the wind. I don't see anyone else around, it's too quiet.
Was I dead? Was this Heaven?
Although in all fairness I didn't deserve Heaven. All the good things I had done in the last few months doesn't make up for a lifetime of wickedness. I walk toward the water and dip a bare toe into the waves but I feel nothing. The water is so close to my own body temperature that there is no differentiation... Or was it just that ghosts can't feel things the same? I take a look at my reflection.
It had been a while since I had seen this face. My cheeks were full and rosy. My eyes no longer looked as large as my face, or sunken in. My hair was shiny and full again, not dry brittle and falling out. I put a hand to my face because I don't believe it's real.
"You don't belong here Makayla."
I turn. I want to be angry at the use of my birth name but I can't. The woman in front of me looks strangely familiar yet I never met her before. My heart knew this woman.
"Mom?"
Her hair is long and blonde, braided down her back. Her eyes are wide and blue much the same as my sister Amanda's. In fact this woman looked a lot like my sister that it was almost eerie looking at her.
"I am your mother yes. My what a beautiful woman you have become Makayla. I am so very proud of you and your sister for everything you've done with your lives."
I look at my feet. "But everything I've done..."
Marianne Cooper takes a step forward, her billowy dress --the same design as my own-- floating around her in nothing short of an angelic gesture finds itself wrapping around me with her arms. Although I had never met this woman from the outside of her womb this was comfortable. It was right. And the one thing I had wanted more than anything since I was small I had right now in this moment: to be embraced by the woman who had given me life. Who had given her life for me.
"My beautiful baby. There is nothing you can do that can't be forgiven, but now is not your time."
I look up at her, feeling a million questions form in my brain that I wanted to ask her. Things I never got growing up but yet instead the only thing that escaped my lips was a pitiful sob as I bury my head into her shoulder. Her arms grow tighter around me, rocking me. Comforting me like no other person could do unless it was a mother to her child.
"Be calm my precious. There is still so much for you to do on this earth. So much going to happen that you will be needed for. Amanda and Heather need your light, especially now. You were always a fighter and that hasn't changed now. Be strong for me little one. Be strong for them. Be strong for my new handsome son in law."
I can't help the smirk amongst my tears. "You saw that huh?"
My mother chuckles softly and it vibrates my chest next to hers. "He is a fine man. One I can tell you loves you without fault, without conditions. That is rare to find and I get to see both my girls find such matches."
"Wait? What? Coop too? Who is it?" Although a name comes to mind I hold my tongue.
She shakes her head. "You will be there to see it first hand my love. You are not dying tonight. You are not dying any night soon. Your whole life awaits you."
My mother lets me go and I instantly miss her warmth and protective embrace. "It's time to go back now....Violet. I love you and so does your father. Please makes sure to pass that on to Amanda. You'll know when the time is right."
"Wait... No... I have so much...." She blows me a kiss as I hear the faint sounds of a heart monitor. My eyes are heavy and my throat feels very dry. I cough a bit and I suddenly feel a warm hand in mine. It grips tightly before a glass is held against my lips and I take a small sip, cough again as my eyes clear. The first thing I see is my heavily dishevelled sister in a corner chair. She's slumped to one side, dark circles underneath copper coloured lashes. She's snoring which means she's absolutely exhausted. I look beside me to see the equally worried face of the man I loved the most.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes..." I joke, coughing again. He shrugs, and wears only the optimistic smile that I have become accustomed to seeing, even in the worst times.
"I have never really understood that saying. How can your eyes be sore when you have spent the last two days with them closed? Or better yet, why would you want to see anything with sore eyes? It does not sound particularly pleasant." As always, odd rationalization come out of his mouth. He says it with a smile though, and that tells me more than his words can. He also gives my hand a squeeze with his left hand, and gently runs his right hand up my arm, warming it with his touch. "I am happy you decided to come back to us. I told them that you would."
"I think you might just be psychic Mr. Ripley." I offer a smirk even though I feel like it takes a lot of strength to do it. I figured it was the medications they had me on that we're doing it. "So tell me, how long have I been out? Judging by my Sister's snores I'd say that we've hit at least the 24 hour mark."
He looks across the room to her and smiles. "I think she was pretty determined to be awake when you opened your eyes. She only fell asleep for the first time a couple of hours ago. I have not seen someone capable of staying awake for two days while just sitting in a room... other than me." He turns his eyes back to me, "It was quite impressive. Do you want me to wake her up?"
I shake my head. "No. She needs to rest. She already didn't get enough sleep before my surgery as it is. She was worried about Xandor and I probably didn't help." I take another sip of water from the offered cup. I had to ask him something even though I was pretty sure I already knew the answer. "Rip... Did I die?"
He is probably one person I would never accuse of trying to hide feelings from me but in this moment I see something cross his eyes. Fear. I know he would have gone on without me but deep down, losing me would have crushed his whole world. It was in that moment that I understood my Mother's words about being important to others.
"They had to defibrillate you near the end of the surgery. You flatlined for a minute or more before they got your heart beating again." He hesitates for a moment, contemplating what would be the most factual response. "I suppose technically that is death but you were not legally dead."
I give him a weak smile. Trust my wonderful husband to use a technicality to make something serious appear less so. But it answered my question about whether that was heaven or not. He sets the cup of water on the night side table but never lets go of my other hand. Something tells me after this, he was going to find every excuse he could to touch me in some way, not that I minded. I was a creature that adored it.
"Come here. I want to kiss you, it feels like too long." I say and give him a smile. I can see that his resolve cracks just a touch, and his lips turn up slightly at the corners. I had this effect on him and I loved it.
He looks doubtful but I grab his collar and pull him close, feeling some of my strength returning and the grogginess of sleeping leaving my body. Before he can protest I capture his lips with my own and kiss him like a drowning woman. Even though heaven was beautiful, my life was far more so. Especially with a man like Ripley, with family like Coop and Heather. All my friends that I had pulled into my close circle. This was The real Heaven.
~*@*~